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December 19, 2009

CHRISTMAS IN NIPOMO

Fun yard display.

(Thanks to catmanmax)

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Away in a manger,
No crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus
Just shot Santa dead

The stars in the sky
Lit the Son of God
The little Lord Jesus
Has just shot his wad

In the spirit of the Holiday season, as we embrace our Christian and Pagan symbols, let us not forget those who celebrate Hanukkah...

Santa: "On Dasher...On Prancer..."

Jesus: PULL!!!

(I especially like the Cat Mitzvah. He doesn't look too happy, though...)

Piece Be with You.

When you scramble "Santa", what do you get? s-a-t-a-n....SATAN!!
What's wrong with Jesus popping Satan with a double barrel shotgun?

It's long overdue, I say.

Suddenly I have this image of Jesus whipping out his 12 gauge and wasting the money changers in the temple...

Actually Jesus has the Terminator running interference for him.

wait...there was supposed to be a link on "the Terminator". Didn't do it right apparently. Sorry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt17lX0NRxY

*takes the gold, leaves the frankincense and the myrrh (myrhh?)*

Don't worry, Jesus. No one ever sees Santa's face on a pancake.

spazztic's link.

I have no problem with this. I'm sure if Jesus were alive today he'd be shooting Santas, unless he was selling crack in the schoolyard of course.

"I'm sure if Jesus were alive today he'd be shooting Santas..."

That would be pronounced 'HeyZeus', Jeff

WWJS-
Who would Jesus Shoot!?

Red Sox-Yankees.
Lakers-Celtics.
Jesus-Santa.
We got a real barn-burner on our hands this year.

In the spirit of the season, I won't say anything about the whiny neighbor lady's name.

*snork* CJ - EXACTLY what I was thinkin' !

I saw Jesus shooting Santa Claus
On a lawn in Nipomo last night
He shot that sucker dead
Just before I went to bed
He though I was sleeping
At least that's what he said

Yes, I saw Jesus shooting Santa Claus
But sometimes things aren't as they seem
Saint Nick was selling crack
Jesus took the neighborhood back
Now it's safe for me and you outside!!

snork @ sw

Hey Santa! Ho, Santa, santa santa, hey,
Santa Hey Santa ho ho ho!
Hey JC, JC - You're allright by me
Shooting Santa, santa Ho! Ho! Ho!

And Jesus, being the Son of God and all, would need to use a shotgun........why?
I mean, wouldn't a lightning bolt be more dramatic? Or a plague of cannibalistic Elves? Or a really really hot fire at the base of someone's chimney?
C'mon, The God Dude's not a redneck....er....I don't think......?

I think a similar idea was the genesis for the South Park cartoon. If I recall correctly it was Jesus vs. Santa in a WWF death-match-in-a-cage idea. Although, I may have just made that up.

Jesus should just leave Santa to me.

Praise the Lord, and pass the ..... er, Praise the Lord!

Why did he shoot him? Shouldn't he have water-boarded him first to find out where he stashed the loot?


*fluffs cushions on seats in handbasket*

somewhat OT (though I see Jack Bauer has already logged on)

A few clues to the new season FWTW...

/OT

Perhaps Santa needed to set up a perimeter.

Jesus, a carpenter, was definitely a redneck. It's the folks wearing suits and ties, or fancy dresses with big hats, that don't really get him. Or lots of makeup; especially the people wearing lots of makeup.

You mean like these guys, CJ?

"i'm going to make him an offertory he can't refuse."

CJ: In the spirit of the season, I won't say anything about the whiny neighbor lady's name.

Oh, Susana
Now don't you whine to me
For I come to shoot some Santa
With the shotgun on my knee

Everyone just relax and listen to some nice Christmas music...

FTR!! that whiny neighbor...Susana Cruz...is NOT, I repeat..is NOT ME!!

the OTHER Susana Cruz

Siouxie: one word...

(Using the proper English expansion of 'ä' ...)

Doppelgaenger ~ engaged lopper.

Our Siouxie would use a machete, no? Okay, I'm convinced that Nipomo has the other Susana.

Personally, I'm looking at it as a free speech issue. If an artist can plop a crucifix in a jar of urine and call it art, why can't this man express his disgust at the commercialism. There is a difference, however. Some people paid admission to go into the place that showed the artist's(?) display so they did that by choice whereas the property owner's display gives no such option. Parents should be more upset about explaining a photo of an aborted fetus to a child than explaining Jesus shooting Santa. I still say keep it up...free speech forever!!

Santa is not a pagan symbol--he's just been turned in to one by modern society. Santa is based on an Eastern Orthodox Bishop by the name of Nicolas. He was famous for giving gifts at Christmas time. He is in no way against the true meaning of Christmas.

I still liked the South Park version, with Santa against Jesus, using katanas and screaming "There can be only one!" in true Highlander style.

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