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November 20, 2009

SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to MissV)

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"the heat of a woman's vagina" would be a good name for a .....

would be a good name....

would be good.

"vulnerably drooping gonads" gnfarb

"ostentatious scrotal baggage" would NOT

best sentence ever written in a scientific paper

"Anything deviating from this--particularly a set of unusually pendulous testicles suspended in knee-length scrota--is probably more likely to have a woman dry-heaving, screaming, or staring in confusion than serving as an aphrodisiac. "

foreign sperm-removal device WBAGNF Sienna Miller.

What?

Extraordinarily Sensitive Sperm also WBAGNFARB, as would be The Continually Orbiting Testicles (also a great name for a sci-fi movie).

I'm not going to read all that. Had to stop at, "evolved as a sort of ornamental display". 'Nuf said. Paint 'em green and let 'em free.

well, guess tighty whitees wont promote freedom.... but i guess this was everything you wanted to know abt balls but didnt feel like asking a stupid question....

do your balls hang low?
can you wave them to and fro?
can you tie them in a knot,or
into a little bow?

then you are risking damage and according to some scientists' hypothesis your genes will almost certainly not be passed on to the next generation owing to the high probabilities of mishap, and the low probabilities of finding a mate!

do your balls hang low?

Didn't Unusually Pendulous Testicles open for the Dead Kenendys in '82?

At least you've got to admire the guy for finding a way to get paid for his life's obsession.

Russellmc: Exactly. You beat me to it.

One of the best articles I've read in a long time. Thoroughly informative and entertaining.

Thanks, MissV!

I'm siding with Loud, "ornamental display" gets my vote!

Hey, imagine taking that route the next time you're in a bar?

"Hey babe, what ya think of these?" *zip*

Ain't that a kick in the nuts.

any male in the ancestral past that ... enjoyed testicular insult

"Your 'nads are ugly and you dress them funny."
"Ooh, honey! Say it again!"

This is what happens when you ask a scientist, "How they hangin'?"

It's kinda like asking your grandmother about her health. Expect to be overanswered.

Why do human testicles hang down like that? Target practice. Enough said.

Makes 'em easier to scratch.

Looking forward to the 10 page dissertatiion on shrinkage.

I'm an Agnostic but even I know they hang that way because God has a sense of humor.

and having the Siemen's auditory podcast promo was a particularly poignant bit of affinity advertising.

Cindy, scarily enough, that was actually their first hypothesis.

Okay, boffins, explain the dogleg . . .

I can't believe the scientist had the balls to write that article.

That still doesn't explain this. (NSFW!)

There's no explainin' that, Ralph ... absolutely no way ...

Key quote:

" ... peculiarly shaped ... "

Are you talkin' to ME?

Are YOU talkin' to ME??!?!?!?!

... on second thot ... um ... nevermind ...

The next obvious question is: "Why do men have nipples?"

" After graduating from Faber College, Flounder went on to graduate school to do important scientific research... "

The real question is: why do pants manufacturers put the zipper so close to them?

Phil, you asked, “Why do men have nipples?” Here goes. Men have nipples because their mother had them. They need them because their daughters need them. People inherit half of their genes from each of their parents. If men did not have nipples, then some of their daughters would not them either. If this had actually happened, their babies would have starved and that branch of humanity would not be around today. Therefore, nipple-less men are very rare.

Why am I signed in as Execute. I did not use this name. I am usually Ken in SC.

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