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November 23, 2009

MISLEADING URL OF THE DAY SO FAR

www.bathroomsprayers.com

(Thanks to Kate Mink)

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VERY misleading!

"If you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper would you?"

I would FIRST! and then wash it. After all, it's not often I eat with my a$$!

In Egypt they've got it figured out. There's a little tube that comes up below the toilet seat with a valve on the outside. A little turn, a rinse, and you're as fresh as the day you were born - at least that's on the directions ...

um, dont you still need something to dry off with???

Ya gotta love a site that has a link to "rectal itch".

Cmon you bloglodytes, judi posted this with hopes of inspiring some criticism/witticism regarding folks with bathroom aiming issues (which would generally be men of the male persuasion, as his Blogness has often put it).

I'll get things started with the anonymous individual in my office building who managed to get pee on TOP of the urinal. Repeatedly. We put up a sign asking him to adjust his aim and to remind him that nobody likes a showoff.

There. Now the blog can segue into a diatribe against paper towel flushers, veer into a rant about folks who can't work an aerosol deodorizer, and finally devolve into a civil war between the toilet paper hanging factions, the Over-The-Toppers vs. the UnderHanders.

Over the top is the only way. Underhanded is just . . . wrong.

Yer dang skippy, bon. ^5 to my tribemate!

Good crack, eh?

I usually don't have a problem if the toilet isn't moving.

Speaking of good crack (or "craic" if you're being Irish, bon), I wonder if judi saw what had to be the football highlight of the year for her last night?

Late in the game the Bears QB threw a pass to a receiver across the middle of the field, and the defenders were desperately grabbing at him. The replay showed that one of them got a REAL good hold of the receiver's waist band, and the full moon shone over Chicago.

The announcers were speechless, couldn't even work up a "Nice camera work boys!"

You know how you have to let the shower run for a few seconds to get warm?

It's #1 at cleaning up #2.

A donut store chain (Who shall remain nameless, because DunkinDonuts has not paid me) had a portable bidet in their bathroom. In disbelief I hit the switch to see if it was true and it shot out a stream so strong that it hit the tiles across the room and sprayed enough to make it look like it had rained in the place. I think if anyone used it on themselves they would end up with a runny nose.

Over the top is the only way. Underhanded is just . . . wrong.

QFT

regarding folks with bathroom aiming issues (which would generally be men of the male persuasion, as his Blogness has often put it)

I don't really have an aiming problem. It's pretty hard to miss, when you're aiming at the ground. Plus, I've heard that there is such a thing as a hover peer. You know who you are; and soon judi will know who you are. And then she will come beat you senseless with your own bog brush.

At my office, I routinely find a single pube on the top of the urinial. As far as I know, we don't have anyone working here that's 8 feet tall, so I don't know how it gets there. I can only surmise that someone who is not a blonde, places it there with great care, just to skeeve everyone out.

Hemorrhoids and The Rectal Itch WBAGNFARB!

My son-in-law has it all figured out. He thinks they should have a 'holder' at urinals for men to use. Then their aim would be perfect! At first he said a tube they could place their stuff in but after thinking about it decided that wouldn't be a good idea. Now he's thinking something that is a 'U' shape. That boy is going places. I'm just not sure where. Also who wants to walk around with a wet hienie? Leave the T.P.

shyjan is visiting. she suspects the dog peed on the floor in her bathroom. i suspect cj or the littlest boy.

as for this wonderful invention...you know how when you were a kid it was really funny to put a rubberband around the trigger to the kitchen sprayer then wait for someone to turn on the water? well...i have my rubberbands ready!

cg, my daughter did that once on April Fools Day. She put lotion on the fridge handle and then when her dad went to wash his hands it sprayed him right in the face. He screamed like a little girl. hehehehehehe. That's my girl.

i just can't (having never used one)picture how this works. you've got what amounts to a kitchen spritzer somewhere near the crapper. when you're done pooping you're supposed to lift yourself off the seat high enough to aim the nozzle at the bad place, and then blast away at any acts of congress left behind. am i right so far? so, you've got a stream of water with enough force to remove legislation shooting (i presume) in an upward direction. how does one control the over-spray? and what becomes of the legislation? am i to believe that it all falls neatly into the crapper? am i supposed to be able to do this without getting water all over my shirt and / or pants? doesn't this product have tremendous prank potential? like rubber bands around the handle? or koolaid powder in the little shower head? you know what i'm talking about. you feel me.

mud, you're so poetic. You know, as a nurse, I wonder if the spray was too hard if you could accidentally give yourself an enema?

I have a bidet. It's the cat's water fountain. My cat's weird. I know.

Siouxie,
Of course your cat's weird. Look at who he's got for staff.

*ducks* *runs*

Couldn't you just get an extension hose (GBFARB) and use the spritzer nozzle by the kitchen sink? Just sayin'.

My belt sander works just fine.

NC said
" ..., I wonder if the spray was too hard if you could accidentally give yourself an enema?"

If you check link #2 (what a coincidence), toward the bottom (another coincidence?), they mention if you are having difficulties, you could, to paraphrase, 'stick it up your @ss' to get things right inside. Of course, they keep reminding with the disclaimer 'I am not a doctor'.

doesn't this product have tremendous prank potential? like rubber bands around the handle?
Posted by: mudstuffin | November 23, 2009 at 01:51 PM


mud, yes. see 1:39. you gotta be quick, buddy. lmta.

*SMACKS* wiredog!! (under)

Please don't overlook reading the testimonials linked at the bottom of the page!!! Just a sample:

"Dear Bathroom Sprayers, your product is awesome! It is now my best friend, well after my vibrator.....and my cell phone. Anyways I really appreciate your service and the instructions were great so I will tell all my friends about you."

Chow,
Lisa, San Diego

Padraig, it's a good thing I'm too nice to mention Thierry Henry.

But as a Gunner's fan, I'm glad he called for a replay.

Other way 'round, Jon.

bon, I think "Mr. Handball" would be a wonderful celebrity endorser for this product.

(btw, if you don't watch soccer, you don't know what I'm talking about. Honest.)

Well, this went downhill really fast. After due thought, the conclusion is that Americans are neither intelligent nor mature enough to use a Bathroom Sprayer. Just speaking for myself, of course.

OK- cats and "over the top" mean toilet paper in every room of the house EXCEPT THE BATHROOM because the little darlings will stand there for hours unrolling. Face the roll the other way and they can't unwind it. Then, of course, un-neutered males spray in frustration al over the bathroom. NOW WE'RE BACK ON THE SUBJECT.

Cats can be trained to leave things alone with a squirt gun*. Our last cat learned to stand with his back to the wall and unroll the TP, so we had to find a different solution.

As for a personal public restroom anecdote, I once posted a printout of the Urban Dictionary article on "courtesy flush" to the inside of each stall in the men's room. It apparently offended a few people. Probably the same ones for whom I surreptitiously leave hand sanitizer on their desks because they apparently have a fear of the sink.

*I know it's a misplaced clause modifier, but I like the thought of a kitty sneaking through the house with a super soaker...and I get to make a bad claws/clause pun.

First thing I thought was Bathroom's Prayers when I saw the URL. Makes me think of those rough nights after having bad Mexican food!

Nursecindy, you're not really a nurse are you, that's just a posting name? Because I can't believe a nurse would not be able to picture how to use a Hand Bidet Sprayer. I'll admit the first couple of times are a bit strange and sure you can spray the water around just like you can splash water out of the sink but unless you have no ass at all it's pretty easy to keep the water in the bowl, and you don't have to do any contortions, again unless in this case you happen to have a huge ass and it's difficult to lift one side up. And the Bathroom Sprayer is the bomb for those rough nights after bad Mexican Food! First you spray yourself down and then you spray the bowl down. If you don't believe me check out Walt's blog. If this guy is now a true believer anyone can be: http://www.waltsense.com/home/2009/11/13/a-sprayed-behind-is-a-clean-behind.html

By the way Dave, if you are willing to give me an objective try and write up I will send you a free sprayer to try out. www.bathroomsprayers.com

Think of when you were a kid. Think about having a squirt gun battle and it went bad when someone got to the garden hose first. Think of this thing available at a birthday party full of 7 year olds. (Well, I have some relatives who would not let me loose in a house with one of those things.)

Dear Loudmouth (good name by the way). You are right, some kids cannot be taught, especially other people's kids, but the entire country of Thailand manages to teach their children the proper use of these sprayers (I think it's called potty training) without mishap. Resistance is futile, but those who wish to continue spending big bucks on toilet paper and walk around with smelly butts can still do so, until they pass that toilet paper tax they're talking about and then maybe even you will give in. Cheers, Jeff www.bathroomsprayers.com

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