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November 27, 2009

IT'S A B! IT'S A C! IT'S A D!

Amazing Chinese brassiere technology, featuring "God's Hand," lets women choose.

(Thanks to Allen at Division and CJrun, both guys. Also DavCat.)

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"Your girlfriend looks...different today. What did you end up getting her from Japan?"

"Oh, just a new bra."

"Really? I can see the difference. What kind did you get?"

"She's Mine!"

"Right, sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I was just wondering..."

"I said, She's Mine."

The big revelation for me was that God is a three-fingured being. So it turns out that cartoon characters, not people, were created in his image.

I loved this copy:

For every woman who has ever regretted waking up in the morning with the same size breasts she had the night before, this Chinese TV commercial wants you to know your troubles are finally over!


Pasta, gunpowder, Kung Pow Chicken and now THIS! China rocks!

Not available for atheists.

Now if they would build one with a remote control....

*raises hand* I know the answer to the question "what's theme of the day?"...it's bazoomage!

Judi, I think we need some pictures of men, stat!!!

Also functions as a flotation device, personal airbag, and flak vest.

Although the diesel generator backpack is a bit noisy.

Wouldn't you much rather convert them into vodka flasks for the football game? By the time you're back to an A cup, you could care leshh.

Does it make that little " Zing ! " noise when you activate it ? 'Cause that would be cool in Presidential receiving lines 'n stuff.

The perfect wedding accessory. B for the ceremony, C for the reception with relatives, D for the reception without relatives.

Wouldn't it kind of creep you guys out to see your woman's boobies suddenly get bigger? Also that bra has got to come off sometime so that could be a real let down. It's nice to know what Allen and CJ did during Thanksgiving.

From my mouth to God's hands.

*Oooh, what pretty lightning.....*

But wait.... there's more! *snork*

Speaking of god's hand, jesus is making another special appearance:

on an iron

I agree with Nurse Cindy, Once that packaging is removed... What a letdown.

Ok...in the spirit of fairness, I say the Chinese invent a pair of men's briefs featuring "Mother Nature's Hands". Ya know...she PULLS on the penis to make IT bigger. Let the woman choose ;-)

It's 6! It's 8! It's 9!

Are Chinese TV commercials 4'19" long? Sheesh! They better all feature visuals like this or I'm switching channels.

And by the way, somethink about how those flowers get bigger looks really fake. I'm sensing scam here, like what they did at the Olympics.

Handy cupped.

I still cannot figure out how they inflate. Is it a Reebok-like pump for each boob. I don't see any pumping, they just press and voila instant knockerage. Maybe a CO2 cartridge in back, in which case Al Gore will be protesting soon.

Well that explains all the tornadoes, wars, hurricanes, floods, human disasters and misery. He's been busy making lingerie.

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