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November 24, 2009

CELEBRITY LIFESTYLE UPDATE

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Why doesn't she just hire someone to go to the bathroom for her?

I knew she was boobalicious but didn't realize she was so top heavy she needed someone to protect her from toppling over.

I wonder how they describe that job?

Her image hasn't been helped by that commercial showing the poor hotel clerk running around the city looking for dog beds, etc. before she checks in. And it was supposed to show her in a good light because she thanks him and blows him a kiss?!

So Dave, what are your own diva demands when you go on your book tours?

Maybe she was caught short once and was so traumatized that...no, never mind. That's just strange and disturbing.
Hey, at least she doesn't have Monkey Butt.

No green M & M's?

She doesn't have someone in her entourage travel with a portable bathroom sprayer?

Well, clearly Dave doesn't demand clean underwear, because his groupies have to buy it for him.

Yes, but did her contract rider specify the TP be installed over-the-top or underhanded? 'Cause if it says underhanded I am absolutely burning all my Mariah CD's. Well, I would if I had any.

I would think that she doesn't need any scented TP, because clearly, her's doesn't stink!

okay the anti face-plant sentinel is a little wierd, but i totally get taking toilet paper to europe, where you never know when you'll be confronted with some nightmarish arrangement like a pail on the floor and a rope hanging from the ceiling with an air hose and a scrub brush and no toilet paper and no explanation and there's people standing in line behind you and you really have to go

One-ply or two??

Four-ply silly.

I carry my own toilet paper when I go hiking. The thought of accidentally wiping with poison ivy often haunts me prior to each trip. Other than the cleavage, I feel that I am just like Mariah.

"I'm Mariah f***ing Carey, dammit. If I want f***ing butterflies on Buckingham Palace, I'm getting f***ing butterflies on Buckingham Palace."

Garraway continued: ...
Gallaway's revelations come...

I didn't think I was reading engrish.com for this article.

When I was in the Army, everyone carried their own TP to the field, and bought it for the barracks. The issue stuff was known as :John Wayne: paper.

Replaces : with " in the above comment...

Mariah who? I would also like to know what Dave and Ridley's demands are when out strumpeting.

Dave forgets the toilet paper. He makes them supply him with gold leaf.

She's got her thrones confused.

wiredog - was that cuz it was True Grit?

Diva,
No, it was called that because it was rough 'n' tough and didn't take shit off of anybody.

Does that make her a Privvy Donna?

I just noticed that the two v's in my above post look like a w in which case it makes no sense at all. Not thgat it made a lot in the first place.

There is no Mariah; there is only Zul.

I remember that stuff, wiredog. In the Navy, we called it sandpaper-on-a-roll.

Hence my point about Grit, Nookee. ;)

Yeah, that's some entourage she's hauling around there.

"the un-sanitation of pee-pee"?

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