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November 22, 2009

AND EVERY NOW AND THEN IT EMITS A DEAD BIRD FROM A USB PORT

IBM computer simulates cat's cerebral cortex

(Thanks to Brian Tremblay, who says this explains why his computer "ignores whatever I type and just coughs up hairballs on my desk.")

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Yet Olds cautioned that simulating the human brain is "such a complex problem that we may not be able to get to an answer, even with supercomputing."
Except for men's brains. Women have had them figured out for a while now.

Not to be outdone, Apple Corp. just announced that it can simulate the entire left hemisphere of a panda, seventy one times faster, with sound, on a touch pad screen, on its new ILobe.

Understanding of why cats go nuts and tear around the house inexplicably can only come through simulating a Congressperson's brain.

Czoid, congressperson and brain don't belong in the same sentence..
it's an oxy-moron.
now, congressperson and moron go together like bread and butter.

As much as I loved my late pet, Jasmine, she only had three basic thoughts.
1. Oh, look!
2. Interesting!
3. Kill.

A. Figure out when Mozart decides to shower.
B. Figure out why email and ebay are curious to cats.
C. Let people be the one's to make decisions, let them just be smarter.

The reason it took a supercomputer? Cats are actually an advanced race of highly intelligent space aliens.

The fur suits and the purring? Well, did you ever see the Star Trek "The Trouble With Tribbles" episode? The writers took human interaction with kittens, and made it the plot line.

The cats continue to be amused by us all. Remember: Dogs have people, cats have staff.

The damn thing curls up and goes to sleep eight times a day just like a Microsoft product. What's so new about that.

I read somewhere that cats have multiple things that appeal to humans - they're about the size of an infant, they're a few degrees warmer than we are, they're furry, they have proportionally large eyes, and they purr. It's as if they were designed for us to think they're cute.

I've got a cat that is very good at communicating. First she lets me know she wants something by meowing and looking at me with "I want something!" eyes (she wants food or for me to turn the sink on so she can drink directly from the running water), then she runs toward the thing she wants. Quite clever really.

Now explain to me just exactly why they would use all that computer power to simulate a cat cerebral cortex and then show it an IBM logo. Did they think a cat would even CARE if it recognized a logo or not? Can opener! Now that's something it would recognize, string, squeaky mouse toy, catnip all make sense, but a logo? I can hear the computer cat brain now, "IBM? Show Purina, then I will recognize it for you, maybe, if I'm not napping or chasing string."

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