SLUTS
To keep cranky females happy, their partners have to spend about 100 minutes on courtship, doing things such as vibrating their webs and rubbing their tummies.
But once the fickle babes are brought to a peak of amorous and receptive behaviour, they will let a stray male mate with them even if he hasn't done any courting at all.
(Thanks to Ralph)
In other spider-sex news, we have this.
(Thanks to Rafi Farber)
And in vaguely related alarming spider news, we have this.
(Thanks to Siouxie, Andy Walker and PhilB)
Absolutely
Posted by: Theresa | October 22, 2009 at 07:53 AM
Seems that the gift of a vibrator would be both safer and more productive for the males.
As for the last item, we're going to need a bigger bathtub.
Posted by: Horace LaBadie | October 22, 2009 at 08:25 AM
*Imagines the reaction if my wife came home to find me rubbing my tummy in the middle of a thrumming web in the bedroom*
Posted by: Hammond Rye | October 22, 2009 at 08:27 AM
Story #2--Nothing could make me THAT interested in securing my paternity...
Posted by: Allen at Division | October 22, 2009 at 08:32 AM
I think Vibrating Web opened for ABBA in 1979.
Posted by: Tash | October 22, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Looking through the latest NatGeo, there's a pic of a praying mantis eating a hummingbird. Pity the pic isn't online yet. Maybe next month.
Posted by: wiredog | October 22, 2009 at 08:53 AM
The Redback is the Australian version of a Black Widow. Many times, after mating the male will flip himself into a position to be eaten. This supposedly offers his offspring a better chance of survival because the mother is well-fed. It has been said that a man will do anything to get sex. Probably at least half of us would remain celibate If we knew we would die after the act. The other half would go for it.
Posted by: Steve | October 22, 2009 at 08:54 AM
Female rednecks are much the same.
Posted by: Horace LaBadie | October 22, 2009 at 09:04 AM
Ick! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! ALL of them!!!
*shudder*
Posted by: Punkin | October 22, 2009 at 09:06 AM
Hammie, just have the handcuffs ready.
Don't ask.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 22, 2009 at 09:15 AM
The second story was from early 2007. I remember sending it in then.
/end amazing memory feat before second cup of coffee
;)
"Hey baby, wanna let me vibrate your web?"
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 22, 2009 at 09:18 AM
Get it right, guys.
Posted by: NotSherly | October 22, 2009 at 09:28 AM
Jeff - I imagine that if a woman gets old and alone, after a few years without sex, there probably would be a cob web in there.
Go for it.
Posted by: Punkin | October 22, 2009 at 09:28 AM
You want BIG you come to my country. Large females are not the exclusive domain of golden orb spiders in this neck of the woods.
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | October 22, 2009 at 09:41 AM
*goes back in time to SMACK Jeff*
Posted by: Siouxie | October 22, 2009 at 09:42 AM
Thanks, Siouxie, I needed that.
But what was it for?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 22, 2009 at 10:14 AM
No comment.
Posted by: Mitch | October 22, 2009 at 10:14 AM
Spiders have moyles? Who knew?
Posted by: bonmot | October 22, 2009 at 10:59 AM
Did you say mohel?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 22, 2009 at 11:03 AM
Yes.
You heard about the moyle who never charged for circumcisions?
He only took tips!
Posted by: bonmot | October 22, 2009 at 11:09 AM
More mixed signals from you women. I used to get in trouble from spending time on the web for sex, now it is expected?
Posted by: MartiniShark | October 22, 2009 at 11:15 AM
Suddenly I know more about spider sex than I ever thought possible.
Posted by: nursecindy | October 22, 2009 at 11:49 AM
"The scientists think their work may have clarified why clusters of males are seen around some females when other females remain uncontested."
Sounds like a lot of bars I frequented when I was younger.
Posted by: frederic1943 | October 22, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Kinda like a redneck divorce, eh?
Posted by: monsoon | October 23, 2009 at 12:50 AM