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September 28, 2009

WE'RE THINKING HE'S SINGLE

(Thanks to DavCat)

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Were Monsterville Horton, Monsterville Horton, Jr. and Monsterville Horton III also single?

"She turned away to process his check and when she turned back to him, he did it a second time, waited in the store for a few minutes then left."

And just why wasn't he moaning on the floor and holding his balls after the first time?

Sorry. I was sneezing so hard, I posted on the wrong thread...

Why didn't he just find a woman with bad seasonal allergies? It would be perfect, seeing that spring is supposed to be the mating season anyway. And he could buy a really furry cat too, which women tend to love. He'd have been a real catch.

Mmmm, nothing gets my motor going more than a woman expelling snot out of her nostrils at 100 mph. It's even better when they have food in their mouth.

Thanks for that lovely image, Jake.

“He becomes aroused by females sneezing.”

I mean, WTFBBQ?! If he wanted her to wear a diving helmet and fishnets I could understand it... uh, never mnd.

Well, he WAS married, to that one nurse from the flu clinic that never washed her hands? But now that she's found out he's been cheatin' on her...

At least it's not as creepy as strange men from NC getting aroused by women with machetes.

Just sayin'.

You're Once! Twice! Three times! a lady...

and I love you!

Why did they charge him with aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury? Did she boink her head on a counter or the cash register when she sneezed? Now Punkin. Most N.C. guys are great catches. Of course they usually originated somewhere else. No offense to any N.C. guys reading this blog.

How did she hurt her arm?

LOL BFF. Every gal needs one of those.

If I had this..um..interest, during hayfever season I'd be walking around the house with one of those four hour V!agra problems.

About 20 years ago, a self-described practical joker waited around a corner and blew black pepper in my face. It got under my hard contact lenses. Eyes burned and swelled. I about cut my eyelids with my fingernails trying to dig those lenses out.

Stupid jerk. Nobody was laughing.

His last lover was a dwarf.

Meanie, that was low....and funny.

So, this was basically assault with pepper. Right?

Unclear on the concept of a b!0w job. Thought it had to do with snot.

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