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September 24, 2009

BECAUSE MASSACHUSETTS HAS SOLVED ALL ITS OTHER PROBLEMS

The Fluffernutter, once defamed by a state legislator, could soon become the official sandwich of Massachusetts.

And that's not all: The sandwich is one of three foods that a legislative committee will consider for official state status tomorrow. The others are Necco Wafers, for official state candy, and Charleston Chew, for candy bar.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

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Also, the Capital Building in Boston will be declared the official state looney-bin.

.... and, when they get done with that, we request that they create world peace.

And people think Californians are looney.....

Someone needs a little less spare time and a much better diet.

TX have a lot of these things. They even found a way to have two state animals.

I sincerely doubt that a Democrat-controlled state house will allow an elephant to become state mammal. They're not jackasses, or maybe they are, but either way....

A couple of years ago I was in the grocery store when a lady came up to me and asked me where the fluff was. From her accent she wasn't from around here. She had already asked several people who had no idea what she was talking about. My then husband was from up north so I knew what she meant. I'll bet I'm the only southerner that's been hugged by a yankee because she knew what fluffermutter was.

6 as the official state number

That's what you get from too many years rooting for the Red Sox, I guess.

Bill sponsored by the American Dental Association.

Necco wafers -- blech!

Does ANYONE like those nasty things?

The FA Meeting will now come to order.
(Fluffernutters Anonymous)

"OK, umm...Hi, my name is Brian, and I'm a fluffernutteraholic. I had my last fluffernutter about 7 months ago. It's no one's fault but my own, but I will admit that my mother gave me my first one when I was about 4 years old. I find that I just get these, well...cravings for them every once in a while.

Its gotten so that when I have a bite or two, I feel this overwhelming sense of warmth. I sometimes think I hear the theme song to Captain Kangaroo when I eat them. Visions of the Banana Splits flash in front of my eyes too. I know that I have a problem because after about three bites the fun and comfort is gone and I get this ache, mostly from my teeth, but in my stomach too. I never finish the sandwich. I won't have that urge for another 6, 10, maybe 12 months, sometimes even years.

But it returns. It always returns."

; )

Hi Brian. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Good going.

They're even better with Nutella.

Charleton Heston: " Fluff... is... peeee...ple.... ! "

Do they realize the number 6 was the number of The Prisoner? Sort of appropriate I guess.

They want SIX to be the state number? What about a more interesting number, such as pi, e, or the square root of -1?

Chris what is the square root of -1? I'm just curious because I'm not mathematically inclined.

My wife once lived in Mass. She knew what fluffernutter was right away.

nursecindy: -1 actually has two square roots. Mathematicians call them i and -i, but it really doesn't matter which of them you pick to be i, since the other one will naturally still be its negative.

Because I don't want to bore you completely to tears, the short short form is: An Italian in the 16th century found out that the square root of -1 popped up in a very handy formula he'd just invented. But he was just crazy enough to not throw away the formula. (At this time, even negative numbers were viewed with suspicion...) Fast forward two centuries, and a guy named Gauss, who did approximately 1/3 of all the important mathematics of all time, proved a theorem called the Fundamental Theorem of Algebra. This theorem involves the square root of -1 very, very intimately, and the theorem is usually kept behind the librarian's desk so that underage mathematicians can't read it.

(Well, technically, Gauss' proof had a little mistake in it, but he was such an amazing mathematician that we usually gloss over that fact. Especially since the theorem is true, even if Gauss' proof was a little off.)

The end.

If you're morbidly curious, here's a longer answer. But you probably won't understand it without at least one university-level algebra course.

I'll stick with peanut butter & banana sammiches.

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