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September 22, 2009

A NICE VACATION FOR YOU AND THE LITTLE LADIES

Polygamy tours.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Comments

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Well! Let me be the first to TEAR UP MY CREDIT CARD AND DISCONNECT MY PHONE!!!


No friggin way.

pre-tour discussion:

"Do these pants make our butts look fat?"

"No, Dears."

I'll pass. I look horrible in a prairie dress & braids.

I used to live about an hour away from there. Colorado City/Hildale are the same town. Built on the UT/AZ border so the locals could easily get across the state line if there was a raid.

I went to college at SUU with some of the residents. Drove by there many times, as the road to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon goes by there.

Deeply creepy place. Everyone looks the same. Like a bad SciFi movie.

And these tour buses will have face to face seating as well.

Girls gone mild!


WIFE #1: Why don't you just pull over and ask for directions?

WIFE #2: Why are you driving so fast? We can't see the scenery!

WIFE #3: I told you to buy that GPS before the trip!

WIFE #4: I agree with W-1!

WIFE #5: Where's the next rest-stop?

WIFE #6: Why did we all get matching luggage? I can't find my curling iron.

WIFE #1: Oh no, you are NOT taking the expressway!

Wife #2: We only have 6 tickets for the Tony Orlando show in Branson!

WIFE #3: Can you get from behind this semi, the diesel fumes are giving me a headache!

Wife #4: Do you have to run over EVERY pothole in the road?

WIFE #5: UH-oh ladies, I feel some cramps, we might be getting our "cycles" soon.

WIFE #6: Why are you steering towards the guardrail on the bridge?!?!?!

Sharkie:

WIFE#7: My water broke.

Wife #8: I'm hot.
Wife #9: I'm cold.
Wife #10: I'm not speaking to you until you apologize. You know what you did.

After reading that Osama Bin Laden was supposedly traveling with like a dozen of his wives, I remember thinking that at least he is suffering too.....

All I'm saying....

I heard a guy say the worst thing about this recession is that he'd lost half his wealth and he's still got his wife!

A four hour tour--at least it can't be as dangerous as a three hour tour.

Do you have to bring all your wives or do they have some for sale when you're there in case you've only got one?

No kids we went to Disney World last year, this year we are taking a Polygamy tour.

With that many wives, it would be pre-monsteral syndrome.

But wait, what about all those Mothers-in-Law!

GAH!

DOUBLE GAH!

*runs screaming into the night*

Of course, you have to realize that a good portion of their wives are teenagers, so you have to factor in some gossip about Hannah Montana.

Does this bustle make my butt look big?

"The tours cost $US69.95 ($80) for adults and $US59.95 ($69) for children."

Hey kids! One mommy is lots of fun, but wouldn't it be more fun to have 10 mommies?

If it was in Oregon would it be the Oregamy tour?

LOL NSherl! good one ;P

Youse guys are on fire today. So are we. Not really, butt close.

Stay safe Annie. If you really want to get away from it you're always welcome here in NC.

Here, Annie. You might need this.

Funny you mention that, NotSherly. My house is right next to the park where they set up the fire command post. It's crawlin' with guys like that. Time to bake cookies for some lonely, tired firefighters.

Smart move, amiga! Send one my way..>I'm sure I can start a fire in my kitchen or something...it's not the first time ;-P

Siouxie I think we should go help Annie out with the firemen. It's the right thing to do don't you think?

As the good friends that we are, cindy?? I'm there.

Oh wow. And when the tour is over they can stop by the gift shop, which is stocked with things the whole family can enjoy.

Like the charming childrens' tale, "Heather has Two...Three...Four Mommies and Counting..."

Do we get to see the magic underwear?

Absolutely Siouxie. We're on our way Annie. Grab a couple of hot ones for us okay? (firemen not drinks)

You got it, amigas. I will keep their your seat warm for you.

Can you imagine the build-a-family bumper stickers at this polygamy place?

Annie, saw that news. Keep safe. You know that there are a bunch of people here on the Left Coast who would happily accept you in case of evacuation.

Annie - please be safe. I see where the new fires have broken out today and that's entirely too close. I'll be praying for your safety.

What they don't tell you is that any young, pretty females are subject to being drafted if'n someone takes a liking to one.

i think a blog-tour is in order. judi, siouxie, nursecindy, annie, etc. on THAT tour bus with a couple of pitchers of margaritas? i'm there!

after we're done at annie's, of course

Wooo hooo, nora!! ROAD TRIP!!

I'm in...polygamy want a 'cracker?'

Whoa! I want to be there to see what happens when they try to recruit you-all!

Bigamy and polygamy are, of course, self-punishing offenses as brilliantly demonstrated by the wives/road trip dialogue above. *snork!*

The only one I'd add is:
Wife #11: "Don't bother asking about me--I'm FINE!"

The tour is a great asset to the community. The guy was pretty smart to start up this business.

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