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August 21, 2009

HEY, IT'S FRIDAY

Time to play: Translation Party!

I tried some song lyrics, and found that it makes quick work of the Beatles, but is stumped by Chuck Berry.

If we could somehow combine this with the Photoshop squirrel, we could bring the economy to a complete halt.

(Thanks to John Grant)

Comments

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She sells seashells on the sea shore becomes

She is the beatch that sells seashells.

It is also stumped by the phrase, "She wore an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polk a dot bikini." This could be addictive.

Go back and listen to Sgt. Pepper to get lyrics that make questionable sense. They still sound great but you get more logic out of a coughing fit than some of those songs.

Try some lyrics from "Louie, Louie". If you can figure out what the lyrics actually are.

Lyrics: "Wild thing, you make my heart sing. You make everything groovy."

Translation: "Wild things, make sure to sing my heart. All you need to make sure that always groovy."

They get The Nuge perfectly.

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Becomes:

"woochuck woodchuck chuck chuck wood?"

Simple, eh?

Even better...

"A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."

becomes:

"If you Uddochakkuchakkuuddochakkuuddochakku many woodchuck chuck wood."

Although, I think that third word may be Engrish.

Put a few phrases from any State of the Union message in there and the entire internet will explode.

The Bard will never forgive me...

"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious spring by this son of York"

becomes

"Currently, spring and winter of discontent is the main point of our involvement in New York"

na na na na na na na na hey hey goodbye becomes:

Berobero Berobero a little bit a little goodbye

It did wonders with Jabba the Hutt.
"Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage."
becomes
"Please bring me UKISORO. They will suffer the wrath of all."

On the other hand John of Gaunt suffers nearly as much as wiredog's bit from Richard III.
"This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, England, KINGUOBUKINGUSU, a nurse, this teeming womb, their diversity, are known risk of birth"

As Dave found out, MacArturs Park is one the most hated tunes of all time. This site can do nothing with any lins from that song

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun ==> an endless loop, adding "one" each time

May the force be with you, young Jedi ==> Sun 25 young Jedi army October 5

Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar? ==> How do I use a lot of money if you prefer to what

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener ==> We Osukamaiyauina these three, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, I hope these

judi will be fired if the squirrel gets posted again ==> Judy fire re-list --

I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you ==> I must say, kill me

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye ==> No No No, Berobero, little Na, Goodbye

If you see a panther crouch, be prepared to holler "Ouch!" Better yet, if questioned by a panther, don't answer. ==> In this case, "In the future, please add a panther crouch move. Pain" and, leopards, and answer the following questions, the state does not scream.

Goldilocks ate the three bears' porridge and then slept in their beds ==> Compass three bedrooms and three single beds and three 3 - to be paid to eat porridge

It is doubtful that this phrase will ever reach equilibrium. ==> This balance is known to reach this phrase.

I told you not to do that. ==> I was told to do so.

Do as I say, not as I do. ==> If I said.

Tiger Woods blew the lead after fifty-four holes on Sunday ==> January 1, explosion of the sun, the solar initiative Taigauzzuhoru 43112 2-50

I like to count one two three four five six seven eight nine ten ==> I count two 345.67891 million

This is sure some productivity enhancer ==> Productivity tools, etc.

Don't blame me, I voted for the other guy ==> Another guy, I can not Please do not vote

"judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men. ==> "Judy" interested in his research Judisumisu man Dave.

Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus. ==> Walter "Uorutaseiuchi baculum.

I'm mad as all get out and I'm not going to take it anymore ==> Instead of all cattle, to satisfy another query of mad cow disease.

If Uddouddochakkuchakku woodchuck chuck, wood, how much?
Peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

(Okay, so that was long ==> Now, this is a long)

You'll be happy to know that "MacArthur Park" completely stumps the system. On the other hand, it makes short work of Edgar Allen Poe:

"'Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!' Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

becomes

"'Toot, toot, Ohio nepenthe like this, forget this lost Lenore!' Raven, 'Nevermore,' he said."

Toot, toot.

Another personal favorite:

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains," a line from the song "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira, becomes

"My chest, small, humble, mountains, please do not confuse them. I have hope."

"Off, and raffle your bagel"= Turn off, Begururaffuru

"Do or do not, there is no try" becomes "Please contact"

Summer time and the living is frightening becomes "Live in fear, summer time".

"to be or not to be that is the question" ==>"Instead of this month, five issues"

but it was stumped on "in for a penny in for a pound"

It kind of ground to a halt on Kennedy's "Ask not" speech. Here's where it threw in the towel:
"If people in developing countries: does not meet your next long term. Please contact your country can do for us please."

Another JFK speech, and another failure to reach equilibrium.
We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.
Becomes:
We choose go to the moon. People are hard drives, one day, a passive support system for 10 years behind, the goal specified requirements, is to agree to support each other's energy.

Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained ==> Are you ready? How can I do? I trained Jedi for 800 years. I'm training to maintain her defense.

Forgot to close the tag, I did.

If we could somehow combine this with the Photoshop squirrel, we could bring the economy to a complete halt. ==> You, Photoshop For a list of several methods of binding to a complete stop, if economies.

Some recent headlines, which might explain why our foreign policy looks like a hyperactive puppy at a fire hydrant store.

Obama's healthcare proposal angers conservatives => Mentenansuanjeobama health care proposal

Afgans hold election amid sporatic violence => Election violence and sporatic Afgans

Stock market stabilizes as housing starts rebound => To begin the recovery of the housing stock is stabilized

Clinton visits north korea to free captured journalists => President Clinton's North Korea, South Korean journalist caught a free visit

Meetings on health care become violent => Violence and Health Conference

Anger and shouting seen at several town hall meetings => Wrath of the devil, some town meetings

Bush opposes gay marriage but Dick accepts it => President Bush is to accept a p3nis for gay marriage

Take this job and shove it, I ain't working here no more. My woman done left and took all the reason I was working for ==> Her work of the club, all the features

Here's one famous lyric from each decade. See how many of them you can get (the very last one you're probably not going to get, even if you DO still listen to a non-"classic" station)...

50s: Tonight we are going around the clock lock.

60s: I'm not satisfied. I can not get the reaction of the girls.

70s: "I said," I said. And chairs, all have never heard anyone.

80s: My land, under the sunset, I was spit on the women from men.

90s: Please check the use of rivers and lakes. Please. Please. Please. Please do not go chasing waterfalls. (Keep adding an extra "please" every two iterations...)

00s: For you, hot potato, honey. So I have this spa is for this reason.

And as a bonus '70s lyric, the last two lines of "Hotel California":

However, you write some checks.

"Play it, Sam" alternates between "Play Sam" and "Sam Plays" ad infinitum.

More form Yoda...

"Soon will I rest, yes, forever sleep. Earned it I have. Twilight is upon me, soon night must fall."

does not reach equilibrium between....
Since I take a rest in eternal sleep immediately. I will get it. News Room per room per night, the mystery of the current drop.
&
Since I now take a rest in eternal sleep. I will get it. News Room per room per night, the mystery of the current drop.

"New Jersey Transit trains are subject to 15 minute delays out of Penn Station due to switch problems"

becomes

"Penn Station, transfer Nyujajitoranjitto 15 minutes late"

"I don't give a flying F**k through a doughnut hole" ==> "I was interested in flying Purizupurizudonatsu Hall" with a stopover at "I Please Please Please do not worry about flying through the hole in the donut."

And from my favorite Onion article: "things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down." ==> "As a result, since gravity of high intelligence, 'God' rather than the fall of the operation is to promote."

More lyrics:

50s: Load 16 tons, what should I do? Children and deeper debt for another day.

60s: Bay near the ferry I was sitting watching the tide roll in most years.

70s: I felt the name of the desert on a horse like a good rain.

80s: 1 pound man, dressed all crazy girl.

90s: My problem is, DJ is to resolve by checking the extension of the ice near the heart of the baby hook.

00s: Look at this picture, I laugh at me every time.

Wiredog slightly rewrote Shakespeare; here is the
original.
With a minor spelling and punctuation change, it becomes this.

Sounds like a RBR concert:

"We tripped the lights fandango, turned cartwheels across the floor. I was feeling kind of seasick, but the crowd called out for more."

becomes

"We were rolling on the floor side Raitofandangotorippu. I was summoned to a kind of seasick the crowd."

Alcoholic Monkeys of Saint Kitts
アルコールサルセントクリストファーネイビスの
Arukorusarusentokurisutofaneibisuback

Okay, I'll give you an intermediate help on the first 00s lyric.

Remember, the equilibrium was: For you, hot potato, honey. So I have this spa is for this reason.

One of the intermediates was:

So it's hot fries, to you and you. The reason for this is because I have this hot spring.

Any closer now?

I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Poems are made by fools like me, but only God can make a tree ==> I know the beauty of the tree should be considered as poetry. Stupid tree, I was God's poetry.

"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." => These people need to overcome a small step.

To boldly go where no man has gone before => Also, sometimes boldly before, many people

My hovercraft is full of eels. => My hovercraft is full of eels.

I will not buy this record, it is scratched => Then, you can not buy this record scratch.

This is an ex-parrot. => This is the original parrot.

And on a more serious note:
I regret that I have but one life to give for my country. => I was in my country there is one regret giving one's life.

No one can hear me, not even the chair. => I can not hear the president.

Little did we realize that Neil Diamond was, in actuality, secretly expressing his disapproval of Richard Nixon.

With Patrick Henry, not so good:
"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" => fails to reach equilibrium, giving up with "Sureburoarudo or money that can be very undervalued if used to purchase the cost of the chain of my life The reason? Is forbidden by God Almighty! I know how many people have too many people and many other features."

Although there is something oddly profound about "I know how many people have too many people and many other features."

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son" becomes "Fat, rather than her son's foolish move, move the quality of life"

>> I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Poems are made by fools like me, but only God can make a tree ==> I know the beauty of the tree should be considered as poetry. Stupid tree, I was God's poetry...<<

A vast improvement.

The Rules of Fight Club

1) Game Club "Fight Club talks about the first rule."

2) Club Club "The first rule of war is not war."

3) If someone He is a war to stop tapping your subconscious.

4) The only two men fight

5) One battle at a time.

6) No shirt, no shoes.

7) Only start to move in combat.

8) Club's first fighter can fight two days.

I won!!!

Change you can believe in

becomes....

Can you believe in change

These are not the drones you are looking for. >> Unmanned aerial vehicles will not be displayed.

Senator, I served as Jakkukenedi. Jakkukenedi I knew. Jakkukenedi was my friend. Senator, Jakkukenedi that.

i did "boogers are my beat" and ended up at "i beat your ass"

Lines and angles, cartwheels on the floor, jump, I could feel seasick the crowd called to active...

'Nuff said...

His four score and seven years ago, we, from many of the new plan, these people are suggesting that people are not created to provide the status of the ancestors in many different continents.

Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack I don't care if I ever get back ==> Return at a baseball game in Canada from the crowd, I do not care about the news, some peanuts and Cracker Jack

The Battle Hymn of the Republic [words] ==> Minor stroke of lightning swords of destiny 3 Vintejika Loosed-month failure rate.

I think the translations may be more accuruate than the original!

Type in this: "My health care plan will decrease costs, increase coverage and increase quality."

and you get this:
"My health care plan, increasing the cost of reduced coverage and quality."

I know it's rather late in the day, but I got the most amazing results with the chorus of an old New York City song called "The Knickerbocker Line:" "To my rig jig a-rig jig jig; skinny-ma-dink my honeydew, a bye-away my dew; if you go away, my honeydew, and never do come back it's a weary road to travel and the car jumped the track." I nearly laughed myself sick.

sample:
you must perform a full backup of the explosion of the road-weary travelers

In penny lane there is a barber showing photographs
Of every head he's had the pleasure to know.

Becomes

He knows all the photos Penirenshoppu shows the head with both hands.

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