AND LADIES: THEY'RE SINGLE!

Their penises protrude all the time and, perhaps because of the continuous urination, grow algae — a condition known as "green weenie."

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[Siouxie]

Pass.

Ok. Ew.

[Danny]

"They're pretty much interested in two things. They both begin with F. One is fighting."

Flirting?

[billinbossier]

"It's a stench that, when mixed with the potent urine constantly dribbling down the backs of their thick legs, can turn stomachs from several hundred feet away."

And the Denver Zoo just knows people will flock to see this?

[Pannus]

I can honestly say that I relate to these elephants.

Except for the dribbling urine...

and the odor...

Other than that, I feel a certain connection with these guys.

[eve]

And hence we have my long standing revulsion for zoos.

[Theresa]

A protruding green weenie huh! hmmmm!Interesting

[Margaritaville]

Green Weenie WBAGNFARB, of course.

[Frederic]

"They're pretty much interested in two things. They both begin with F. One is fighting."
Sounds like a lot of bars where I used hang out when I was younger.
Of course the guys there didn't dribble urine all the time. They'd hit the urinal at least 80 to 90% of the time.

[Suzy Q]

Oh, those poor lady elephants!

*shudder*

[bonmot]

. . . cuz you're pregnant for two years. Ba dum, bump!

[frodolives]

DAMN!!! Why is it always Denver??? But I musth protest!! Elephant Urine Urine Dribble Constant Urine Dribble

Nope, anybody else get AGNFARB out of this?

[Jeff Tompkins]

That looks like some of the ads on Craigslist.

[Joshua]

Green weenie would be a disturbing St. Patrick's day display.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Something about the quoted line up there reminded me (geezer alert!) of the old SatNiteLive routine with the Festrunk Brothers:

Georg Festrunk: It's okay, Cliff. Many American girls enjoy you, too. They enjoy your protruding buttocks all the time!

Protruding Buttocks WBAGNFARB.

[frodolives]

Actually, I was very wrong... It's NOT always Denver, sometimes it's Miami... But WHY NOT Fargo, or Duluth (Which is a town that BEGS to be made fun of, but we never do that on this blog)... Never Fort Worth, or Elko (*SNORKS* just for purpose), or Dayton, it's just Denver or Miami...

[bonmot]

Hey, if you musth, you musth.

[Horace LaBadie]

They musth walk funny.

[frodolives]

Reminds me of the old Yakov Smirnov routine... he tells some joke about Cleveland and everyone laughs... But he interrupts himself and says, "Now, I don' mean to make joke about Cleveland, but everybody in America make joke about Cleveland. Every country have one city they make joke about. For example, in Soviet Union, we make joke about Cleveland!"

[Diva]

"And Denver is poised to become the green weenie capital of North America."

(1) Clearly Denver has a new city motto.
(2) These guys are gonna be inducted into the Mile High Club before I am.

[nursecindy]

Wonder who moisturizes their buttocks?

[CJrun]

I'm with you, eve, in being "anti-zoo"; which is unusual for a Zoologist. However, what these folks are attempting is ground-breaking (perhaps, literally!!). They have my best wishes for luck and success. This has very little chance of succeeding, butt they know that and are going to try something different.

I grew up with Asian Elephants outside my front door and can't imagine trying to create a captive habitat for them. At least, I can't imagine convincing crossgirl allowing me to try. OK, that's not true; she would definitely allow me to try, butt I would have been hoping she said no.

[frodolives]

Wait... "The Green Weenies" MIGHT BAGNFARB...

And Diva, if you REALLY want to be "INDUCTED" into the "Mile High Club"? (whether (not weather) literally or figuratively) ...Oh, this is getting embarrassing... but anytime, girl, anytime!!!! Let's go to a Rockies game and figg'er it out!!!

[Loudmouth]

Some cranberry juice will help that.

[Guin]

Will NOT click on link. Not after that nauseating Danica Patrick one. NONONONONONO.

[Diva]

*snicker* frodo, it's so nice to have a man falling all over himself for me. ;)

(and *SNORK* @ Loudmouth)

Also, CJ, you don't really want to subject those elephants to crossgirl. She'd probably just hammer bottlecaps and tin scraps into their hides. :P

[insomniac]

you musth remember this
an unending stream of piss
trickling down your thigh
won't fail to make the ladies sigh
as time goes by...

and although your verdant peter
is measured by the meter
so's everyone else's in the herd!
hormones leak out of your eyes
as time goes by...

so though you're long and firm
a potent pachyderm
will pass on his genes or try
he'll fight his way to love
or die, as time goes by!

[oneblankspace]

That sure brings new meaning to the expression "going green."

[Allen at Division]

I remember reading that during this time--also called Pon Farr--the keepers have to scrape mucus off their ears. If they don't, the elephants go mad. Still, a dangerous and thankless job.

[Allen at Division]

Yes, the elephants' ears...Sheesh!

[nursecindy]

Insom I love that show "As Time Goes By" on the BBC. Sure you meant the elephants ears Allen.

[Meanie the Blue]

No wonder they never forget.

[Renee (the First)]

Dear insom,

I hate you.

Cordially,

Renee

(I kid. ;-) But you've just ruined that song for me, darn it!!)

[DaninIA]

"But not everything about that scenario could be described as "majestic." Visitors will be able to smell musth and maybe witness a boy-on-boy tussle."
NTTAWWT
"Or perhaps, if the zoo ever hosts a female of breeding age, catch a glimpse of some late-afternoon lovemaking. And they'll most definitely be treated to a gander at an elephant penis, up to four feet long, twelve inches wide and shaped like an S."

OMG this would be great to take a first date to see!

But then, the Denver Zoo has the balls to handle it.

[Diva]

insom and Allen, you guys just made my night!!

*waves at Renee!!*

[Diva]

Wonder who moisturizes their buttocks?

Posted by: nursecindy | July 13, 2009 at 06:40 PM

Um, WHOSE buttocks????

[Siouxie]

Elephant ears?? Yummmmmmmmmmmo!!

(good one, insom!)

[EB]

Testosterone does cause temporary insanity. Sometimes s it's permanent, then they call them Sex Offenders.

These Elephants sound Sexually Offensive!

(Next post: how being a Shrink ruins your life)

EB

[Macy]

"They both begin with 'F'".
sounds like the boys in my middle school years...

[frodolives]

*SNORKS!!!!* at insom!

Diva, I'm just wondering where I stand in line... 3rd? 8th? 275th? (Yeah, prolly down around there... dern it...) (grins at Diva!!)

[Renee (the First)]

Hi, Diva! Let me know if frodolives gets out of line here, and I'll come help you with the SMACKing.

[Annie Where-but-here]

That's the same elephant from the last thread.

What would happen if two musth males were put together?

They would share a latte and shop for capri shorts in West Hollywood.

[Marvin]

Time for a simple science equation:
constant urine = constant power

Can't you see I'm dribbling love jets,
And my secretions stink worse than the mets?
This love musth be true,
So baby let me show you,
WHAT an elephant never forgets!"

[frodolives]

'Nee the 1st, NTTAWWT, but Diva can do her own "SMACKING"... Actually, I'm sorry to you both, and the rest of the peeps on this blog, if I said anything too "loud." I never "intend to offend," but sometimes hit "send" before I've considered how my words might be received... So, set up the SMACKING, and let's get back to the blog, 'K?

[Hammond Rye]

Ilsa: I wasn't sure you were the same. Let's see, the last time we met...
Rick: It was the Zoo.
Ilsa: How nice, you remembered. But of course, that was the day the elephants marched into Denver.
Rick: Not an easy day to forget.
Ilsa: No.
Rick: I remember every detail. The elephants wore gray, parts of me were green.

[frodolives]

*SNORKS!!!* at Hammie!!! We'll ALWAYS have Paris...

[Cheesewiz]

"Raw testosterone leaks from slits on either side of their broad faces, running in rivulets down the wrinkled folds of their gray skin like liquid sideburns. The smell is acrid."

Just another Saturday night in Hometown, USA.

[Renee (the First)]

Just messin' with ya, frodo, my friend. SMACKing is what a blog is for, isn't it? (Or have the other ladies of the blog corrupted me beyond repair?) ;-)

[queensbee]

i'm snorking. or, on this current thread maybe fnorking. or something. but the visual image of those elephants....eww.