ADVISORY

Today I turn EVEN OLDER THAN I ALREADY WAS, if such a thing is possible. It's a grim occasion, but I did get a thoughtful gift from judi in the form of a Cher Barbie doll, designed by famous designer Bob "Bob" Mackie. As you can see, Barbie Cher looks every bit as lifelike as the actual Cher, although she is somewhat shorter.

(Cher is the one on the right.)

I'm going to celebrate being old by going on vacation, so blogging from me will be sporadic for the next 10 days. You folks have a fine Independence Day tomorrow. If you're planning to have potato salad at your picnic, remember the advice of the U.S. Bureau of Consumer Alarm: "If you eat potato salad outdoors in warm weather, make sure you drink a LOT of beer."

Comments

[just sayin']

i'm so sure that Cher has had better offers.

Happy Birthday, Dave!

(i hope this doesn't violate anything but perhaps some delicate sensitivities.)

[Jazzzz]

Happy birthday, Dave. I would insert "guy" joke, but this is a family blog.

[MartiniShark]

Happy Day of the Candle, Dave!

That Cher doll is eerily realistic - nearly as much plastic in it as the real thing.

[Guin]

Happy Birthday, Dave! Have a great vacation!

[queensbee]

happy birthday dave!!!!! enjoy. and be careful of the potato salad.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Happy Birthday, Dave!

At your advanced age you need to remember two words:

Social Security

;)

[Horace LaBadie]

Walter does not look happy with his date. I hear that Cher also sleeps in a box. And, lastly, using sophisticated photo-age progression software, we have a picture of Dave today.

[Jeff Meyerson]

*smacks Horace, hard*

Dave, I almost forgot. To combine your birthday and the 4th, I found you an Exploding Stripper Cake.

[Theresa]

Happy Birthday Dave! Kind of a kinky outfit for a Barbie doll.

[nursecindy]

That's a cake Jeff! Horace, shame,shame. *SMACKS* Horace again.
Happy Birthday Dave. I hope it's a great one.

[Brian]

Happy Birthday Dave!!
It gives me comfort on my birthdays to know that we all have to grow old, but we certainly never have to grow up!
Have a great time this weekend and blow something up.

[Punkin Poo]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU,
YOUR BLOG IS A ZOO!
THE BLOGLITS ARE MONKEYS,
AND WE THROW FECES TOO!

Happy 31st B-Day, Sir.

*removes lips from assal area*

[NotSherly]

Happy Birthday Dave. May there be many happy returns, oddball posts and funny comments in your future.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Dave, I think of you as exemplifying the Jimmy Buffett song, "Growing Older But Not Up":

I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
So let the winds of change blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead

[crossgirl]

happy birthday to you, cha cha cha!!

i'm coveting your cher doll and also imagining play dates with you and sophie along with your dollys. this, of course, makes me shudder.

[nursecindy]

I can't help but wonder what Dave's neighbors think when he takes Walter outside and takes his picture. I imagine the conversation goes something like this. " Hey Martha! That Barry guy is taking pictures of that bone again. And this time he's taking pictures of his Barbie Doll too. Hippie!!"

[trustf8]

* * Happy Birthday * *

thanks for chering

[Fax Paladin]

Happy birthday, Dave!

[Crash]

Dave, feel lucky, not old.
That Cher is to Turn Back Time!

Happy Birthday!

[ScottMGS]

Happy Birthday, Dave, and have a fun vacation.

[Lairbo]

Happy Birthday, Dave. Many happy returns, and remember, [your age here] is the new 49.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sheesh. I got you the same thing. Guess I'll return it and make you a cake instead.

[MOTW]

Happy birthday, Dave.
If you eat potato salad while you're driving, do NOT drink beer.

[Ralph]

Happy Birthday; you have my condolences. Enjoy your vacation, and don't forget the painkillers (been there, done that).

[SW]

Happy Birthday, Dave. Here's NOT wishing chastity for your bono.

[Annie Where-but-here]

You're only as old as you feel.

[Suzy Q]

So, how old are you now, Dave? 70? I guess that means you get to sit closer to the front of the geezer bus.

Happy Beer Day to You!

[Steve Haller]

Dave, never you mind what the neighbors say. There's nothing wrong with taking pictures of your bone.

Happy whatever...

[SW]

Here's a little birthdy gift of incalculable value.

[Master T]

Happy Birthday, Mr. Barry! Enjoy your vacation. I wish that I could relate to your situation, but I am still young. Of course, based on the state of the planet now, and the fact that my generation will have to inherit it, I consider this fair.

[Hammond Rye]

Happy Birthday, Dave! Please notify the fire department prior to lighting the birthday candles.

Nice to see Walter getting out in the dating scene.

Carry on.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Happy Birthday, Dave! Have a great birthday weekend!

Hey, wait, my oldest cat's birthday is today, too...coincidence?

[FLORIDAHAWK]

Happy Birth Anniversary Dave!

Only 62...just getting a Good Start! I think I can remember back that far. Bill V.

[Neil G]

Congratulations, Dave! I got you a cake, too

[Hudge]

Happy birthday Dave - it's mine also!

[Margaritaville]

Judging by judi's gift, you may have fired and rehired her one too many times! I mean, it's lovely! Happy Grim Occasion! Hope you get beer. Have a good holiday and vacation!

[Stev0]

Happy Birthday! And I'm still waiting for "Dave Barry Turns 60".

[danceswithvowels]

You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're older still

(With a tip of the sombrero to They Might Be Really Old Giants)

So Happy Birthday, famous Booger Pulitzerist who's only slightly older that I!

"Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular option."

[Siouxie]

I also baked you a cake. Punkin helped.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!!!

Love the Cher...

♬ If I could turn back taaayum...♭

[Steve]

Happy Birthday to my second favorite writer; the first being, of course, to anyone who writes me a check.
By the way, I saw a picture of Cher in that outfit. I THOUGHT her buns looked plastic.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Love the cake, Sioux. It has your eyes. ;)

[Siouxie]

Annie - thanks for pointing that out ;P

Here's the real Cher, for comparison. Yep. Just as much plastic.

Oh yeah... *SMACKS* Horace!

[Brian]

No way Siouxie. Cher never weighed that much in her life. Even WITH Sonny on her back!

[Diva]

Dave, I almost forgot. To combine your birthday and the 4th, I found you an Exploding Stripper Cake.

Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 03, 2009 at 08:07 AM

I really want to know how you got the stripper to explode. On second thought, maybe I don't! :-O ;-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!!

[Diva]

(Brian - I think it's the jacket. I thought that, too, when I saw it.) ;)

[Cheryl Howard]

Happy Birthday Dave! And congrats on getting to spend it with Cher.

[Horace LaBadie]

It should be noted that Dave's birthday is listed in the newspapers under the headline "This Day in History."

[Siouxie]

I think Cher is eyeing Walter. She likes 'em young.

[Lairbo]

Siouxie: Yeah, but does she like 'em disembodied?

[Meanie the Blue]

Happy birthday to a true American! Don't doodle too many Yankees while your yore you're vacating, sir.

[EB]

Happy Birthday, Dave....have a great Vacation... ?Idaho?

EB

[queensbee]

i thought it was you're only as old as the one you're feeling ...

perhaps?

[Brian]

Diva...

Siouxie's trying to pull a fast one, just like the guy with the two...well, that's another story.

That sur ain't Cher, that's fer sher. Cher never weighed that much AND she never had that much boobage either. That's Candi Stratton doing a "tribute" show.

[joyce]

Hey, it is my birthday, too. I am 53 today. Born in 1956. What year were you born? Love your blog. Have a great vacation!

[Siouxie]

Not a fast one, Brian lol - I just googled and got that photo. I ASSumed it was just distorted and made her look heavier. You sure know your "Cher" hmmm?? NTTAWWT ;-P

For you...Candi Stratton

[Siouxie]

Happy birthday, joyce!

[ArcticAl]

Happy Birthday Dave!!

[Diva]

OK, Brian - I sit corrected. :) Thanks for the clarification! :D

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Happy Birthday, Dave!

[frodolives]

Happy B-Day, Dave!! I guess all of us pirates look (back) at 40 at some point...

[frodolives]

Oh, and remember, the "invevitable" always happens...

[Brian]

Ya know Siouxie, I remember watching The S&C Show when they first came on TV. I'm old enough for that.

You see...
I was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
My mama used to dance for the money they'd throw
Papa would do whatever he could.....

; )

[frodolives]

Brian, I know I'm throwing myself under the "geezer bus" by saying this, but... ♪ "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves..."

[frodolives]

Or better yet...

[Steve Haller]

A musical cue if ever I heard one. Let's all have some birthday cake...

[frodolives]

That was very wrong, Steve... VERY wrong...

[Steve Haller]

You prefer vanilla??

[frodolives]

*SNORKS*

[Steve Haller]

Maybe you'll like this one better...

[frodolives]

DERN YOU STEVE!!!!! Now I'm going to have some image of Cher covering "Copacabana" for the next week and a half! In the words of Johnny Carson (as "Karnak, the Magnificent"): "May your son be thrown into a locker room with the 'Village People'..."

[Cheesewiz]

Dave:

Skip the potatoe salad entirely.

To pose Walter next to barbie-cher is to insult walrus schwantz' everywhere.

[frodolives]

btw, Steve, your last linkie no workie...

[Steve Haller]

Oh, so? (as Scrooge McDuck would say) All right, here it is without the html treatment:

http://lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/images/theme/baggins_cake.jpg

[frodolives]

Thanks, Steve, but not until 9/22... (yeah, look it up...)

[scmommy]

Happy Birthday to my 2 favorite people - my daugther Morgane, who is 8 today, and to Dave!

[homeybeef]

Happy birthday "the almighty" Dave

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

Hope you get everything on your wish-list, Dave.

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

"I really want to know how you got the stripper to explode."
Prob'ly by forgetting that you're supposed to bake the cake first.

[nursecindy]

I'd also love to see the book "Dave Barry Turns 60".
For Dave
It wasn’t really so long ago
When you were just a boy.
Doing things that little boys do,
Baseballs, skateboards, most any toy.
But those days now seem so long gone,
You’re taking pictures of Walters Bone,
And getting gifts of fashion dolls,
Strumpeting books at various malls,
And the days seem to go so fast
Memories once clear no longer last.
But please remember.
Amid all this birthday fuss
You are thought of by each of us.
And when you lay down at night.
May your worries be few and your heart be light.
Think of all the laughs you gave.
Happy Birthday and remember we love you Dave.

[Brian]

OT

...and speaking of exploding stripper cakes...

Sarah Palin announces that she will resign as of the end of the month.
So says a release, "...the announcement stirred speculation that she would focus on a bid for the 2012 Republican nomination for president."

I'm thinkin' that someone has finally gotten hold of that video she and Todd made at the Drunken Gov'nrs Ball back in '01.

/OT

We now take you back to your regularly scheduled Cher talk.

[Guin]

I am celebrating Dave's bday by reformatting my hard drive. It's at 67% and counting. Please work. Please.

[Steve Haller]

Will Sen. McCain be Sarah Palin's running mate?

[KDF]

Happy Birthday, Dave!!

SERIOUSNESSOCIOUSNESSOCITY WARNING:

I am profoundly grateful for you and for this blog and for some of the like-minded, clinically insane wonderful people I met here who quickly became very close to my heart.

/end sniffles

I swear, I haven't even had a mojito yet.

Happy travels, and I'm with all the others ^up there^ who are still waiting for "Dave Barry Turns 60-something." Hope your day has been wonderful.

judi, Cher is awesome, especially when she comes in a form wherein she can be so easily lost under furniture.

[Just Ducky]

Happy Birthday, Dave! And remember, you don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. In your case, I think that means you'll be here forever.

Enjoy your vacation! (Is Cher coming along, too?)

[Steve Haller]

judi, Cher is awesome, especially when she comes in a form wherein she can be so easily lost under furniture.

or used as a chew toy by Lucy...

[DavCat]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE!

[Steve Haller]

OT

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN (for cat owners only. Dog owners please skip to next post)

Announcing a great step forward in kitty hygiene. Or not.

/OT

[cosanostradamus]

.
Great! Just what South Florida needs! Another senior citizen from Long Island!

Sorry, I'm out of exclamation points, so I'll just say Feliz Cumpleanos, Asere.
.

[NotSoShyJan]

Happy Birthday Dave! I recommend vacationing in New England since I seem to be bringing sunny weather wherever I go on my latest motor home trip (this one works).

[Tash]

Steve: re cat thing --woah, I gave up after paragraph 57! Yikes, and I know some cats can be toilet trained anyway....

[azred]

in case none of the other 90 comments mentioned it yet..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE!

who was it that said....."growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional..." or something like that? (I've been celebrating your birthday, so I can't exactly remember the quote right now.)

and happy vacation.

[djtonyb]

Happy (belated) Birthday, Dave!

May the American beer flow freely through your holiday! (and your prostate, IYCMD, AIKYD)

*warms up geezer bus*

*waits for judi's nekkid men postings*

[Siouxie]

*sits next to tony to wait for the nekkid men postings*

Beer?

[Cat R]

Slinks in®

Happy Birthday weekend, Dave. Growing old is tough, but it's better than the alternative.

[Renee (the First)]

Aww, I missed His Daveness's birthday!

*Goes off to lash self with wet noodle*