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June 30, 2009

INCREDIBLY, HE APPEARS TO BE SINGLE

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

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But if he ever does get married.....

stupido, in an incredibly techno-geek kind of way.

Whatever it takes!

I'd like to issue a challenge to him -- first, a king sized bed, and then a water bed.

Of course, the neighbors think something else is going on. Every morning. For four years!!!

Heh. Some people don't need a contraption like that to make the bed move.

Annie told me.

She'd be here right now but she's oiling her mattress coils.

Was he waking up or wacking off jerking his chicken?

*snork* & *squeak!8 @ Siouxie!

hehe...miss ya, amiga!!!

When I was a Paramedic working with the EMS we had this one guy that was such a sound sleeper that he said the only way he could wake up in the mornings was by putting his alarm clock, one of those with the bells on top, into a metal mixing bowl. It would wake the dead. He was single too.

I foresee chiropractic visits in his future.

Miss u too amiga...the only way I could wake my ex up was to read him the Fry's ads for computer RAM. He'd start computing the cost per megabyte in his head, seeing if the price was coming down, and be forced to wake up....IANMTU.

Off to work with me. :)

Annie--and now perhaps he can't sleep for adding up columns of alimony and child support payments? Ahh, revenge is sweet...

Cindy, in college I had a Timex Big Ben alarm clock. It sounded like somebody was clanging the dinner triangle in a cowboy movie right next to my ear. Gahhhhh!

Ass a good Cubana, I use pots and pans. Works like a charm.

The younger of my two teenagers can only be woken up by my grabbing his leg by the ankle and more or less hoisting him from the bed. So, if this guy wants to do a new version based on our model, he'll need a pulley system and ceiling mounts....

in college, i bought an alarm clock that buzzed until you physically turned it off. that worked for a while. eventually, i had to put the clock in the closet, make a little cave out of books all around it, and slide the door almost shut. occasionally, i swear, i could open the closet, take all the books off the clock, turn it off, and go back to bed without ever waking up.

now, of course, if a fly lands on a leaf in my neighbor's yard, i'm up.

I keep The Dread Daughter's alarm clock in the refrigerator.

Ha. Any teenager could sleep through that.

judi, I'm a pretty sound sleeper. Always have been and I used to sleep through anything when I was younger. Now, I do wake up a lot easier. Sometimes even before my alarm clock.

Does it have a snooze button?

This could maybe work for my teens (18 and almost 13), with one modification. I'm thinking along the lines of a large spatula attachment that will scoop/flip them right out onto the floor.

But then they'd probably demand omelets for breakfast every morning.

I could sleep through that, if someone was making me watch a chick flick.

Totally OT:

Can you say "Wow!"?

Meanie - Wow. And I wonder why their house caught fire twice in a year ...

Wow. I hope he is okay. What a hero.

WOWSA, Meanie!

Hopefully he'll get a raise in his allowance.

Burns are the worst. Great article Meanie. I hope the son is okay. If I were the dad I would be very careful until the son has fully recovered.

That bed is great for a lazy hooker

LOL water outta my nose *SNORK* @ Jazzzzzzzzie!

That was good!

When we were kids (back in the dinosaur era) my brother and I wanted to wake my father to make us pancakes on Sunday morning.

Nothing seemed to work until we (OK, me, which was unusual because I was generally the "good one") came up with this cunning plan: put a can of beer in the freezer for an hour, apply to his feet...and run like he!!.

whaddya mean, hooker?

Hmmmm judi. You may have a point there.

Husband (nagging wife for more sex): "Feeling frisky tonight, honey??"

Wife (laying down, reading): "Sure. Lemme turn this thing on."

The cheaper solution is a strobe light. At least then in LOOKS like they are moving.

I've never met a lazy hooker.

What? Oh... --or any other kind."

Siouxie, we're gonna need a bigger jar of quarters...

That guy must never be allowed out without supervision.

Two *SMACKS* for Allen. One for the 'lady of the evening' remark and another for Siouxie. Us Southern Ladies don't say 'hookers'.

Annie--and now perhaps he can't sleep for adding up columns of alimony and child support payments? Ahh, revenge is sweet...
Posted by: Allen at Division | June 30, 2009 at 11:28 AM

No child support or alimony - he quit his job so he didn't have to pay that. And for a while, I was paying HIM $450 a month in spousal support. Oh, and he apparently sleeps just fine, thanks for asking. ;)

By this time I'm guessing the boys who invented this have skipped right past the hooker idea and figured out how to drill a weenie-sized hole in the bouncy bed. In fact, the paramedics are probably already on site, laughing their butts off because one of the boys is stuck in a compromising position....

*multiple snorks* @ Annie!!!

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