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May 29, 2009


Police Called To Kill Huge Tarantula In Calif.

(Thanks to Ralph)


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It's breeding season, and they like to be out at night.
So tarantulas are basically college frat boys.

I used to live in southern Utah, where tarantulas were common. They're basically harmless. People make pets out of them and pet them and hug them and squeeze them and call them George.

The scorpions, now, those you have to look out for! Nothing like waking up at 5 AM having to pee, walking into the bathroom, and there's a scorpion there, waving his claws and stinger, with an attitude of "Go! Step on me! Do it!"

If it had an arm going on the door why didn't she just open the door and push it outside with a broom? Then spray it until it either died from the spray or drowned. Or just throw it in the neighbors yard.

Her request to officers? "Pull the gun out and shoot it," Michelle said.

Either that or use giant clown shoes (which WBAGNFARB).

*makes note - stay out of southern Utah*

Classic William Shatner movie, Kingdom of the Spiders.

Don't taze me, bro.

I must admit. I saw Kingdom of the Spiders. On late night TV. Back in the 80's. Before I gave up. Late night weed-fueled cheetos-and-crappy-movie binges.

Just one of the many reasons that Demon Weed is Bad.

I think she needs to move to a place where she won't be disturbed by real life.

Also, I want to know how she can read the mind of a tarantula to know that "it had no intention of leaving anytime soon."

"If it had an arm going on the door why didn't she just open the door and push it outside with a broom? Then spray it until it either died from the spray or drowned. Or just throw it in the neighbors yard."

Considering the size, it might have wrestled the broom away from her and shooed HER outside.

I would have shot it. I also have a sword and throwing knives I would have considered using, but the sword has the same problem as the broom and is more dangerous.

I normally LIKE spiders, but that was obviously an escapee from a research lab where they are trying to make super-soldiers by splicing human and spider DNA. Happens all the time: one of the rejects gets away and learns martial arts then goes on a killing spree until someone discovers that it has a weakness for shaving cream and fills up a bunch of water balloons and...... why are you looking at me like that?

Does anybody have Will's medication handy?

What's much scarier than the spider picture is whatever's crawling on Gary Diamond's head... IT should be squashed with a cup & beaten to a pulp!

*do NOT click on the 'Diamond Furniture' ad*

Horace, I saw Kingdom of the Spiders too! A classic while stoned, like Up in Smoke.

I thought of the eerie final scene of that movie when I saw the car covered in caterpillar webs the other day...

a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tarantula-Region-2-John-Agar/dp/B00161ISR4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1243608359&sr=1-2">And let's not forget...

That should have been

And let's not forget...

I am always amused by people who are terrified of things that can't actually hurt us. Fear is a valuable commodity. Don't waste it on spiders that are beneficial and generally harmless. Some day you might really need that adrenaline jolt. Like during an audit.

Many of The Shat's performances are improved when viewed under the influence of large quantities of recreational drugsa crowd of friends who are also stoned movie buffs.

Has everyone forgotten so soon? She should have lit the spider (and the house) on fire.

Yup, that fear thing is so weird. Luckily we have drugs meditation to help us keep perspective, and recognize the things to really fear, like global warming, economic meltdown, nuclear holocaust, Dick Cheny, ex-es, clowns....

Giant Clifford farts....

Tash, my ex was a clown that made me want to have a nuclear meltdown. Hey! That rhymed!

I have to admit I probably would have called the police for a monster spider like that.

Tarantulas are not poisonous. That woman was being silly.

nursecindy - so the ex-clown was a Dick? LOTS to fear.

Bah... Florida wildlife is much more threatening.

*looks suspiciously towards the Everglades*

Tash, he not only WAS a Dick, he still is. ;-)

I would have been tempted to pull out the creme brulee torch...

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