Here is where we stand as far as I know from reading the official plot summary because I missed last week:
Jack is now in something like his 17th consecutive week of dying from the Fatal Swine Pathogen of Death. He and Chloe -- who is FINALLY back in the plot, no doubt thanks to the overwhelming scientific poll results reported in this blog -- are trying to stop a secret cabal that communicates by Twitter and is trying to take over the country by secretly staging terrorist attacks, the theory being that after a while the American public will say, "Enough already with these terrorist attacks! Let's turn the country over to a secret cabal!" Tony is working for the cabal, along with his girlfriend, Cara, who suddenly materialized in the plot. They're going to release the Canister of Doom and frame an innocent Arab immigrant, Jibraan Al-Zarian.
Jack is starting to lose his mental faculties, either from the effects of the pathogen, or from trying to understand the plot.
Edgar is still dead.
Stay tuned afterward in the comments section for the wrapup by The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here is this week's Scientific Poll:
UPDATE: It is never too early to have that first crucial beer.
UPDATE: It's a good thing that all the computers have gigantic fonts so that we, the viewing public, can keep up with everything.
UPDATE: The old Jack would have broken 78 percent of Janeane Garofolo's bones.
UPDATE: Jack wants to spend his last hours in peaceful reflection, killing Tony.
UPDATE: I keep thinking that something is going to happen. And then: It doesn't.
UPDATE: Bagelfuls? BAGELFULS??
UPDATE: In Jack's world, nobody is innocent.
UPDATE: Is an "envelope" the same as a "perimeter?"
UPDATE: To compensate for this, they are going to need to blow up, at minimum, the Lincoln Memorial.
UPDATE: That was not enough.
UPDATE: I know I'm supposed to care who killed Jon Voight. I just can't remember why I'm supposed to care who killed Jon Voight.
UPDATE: OK, they're going to throw us a small bone of action at the end, here. And yes, "Bone of Action" would be a good name for a rock band.
UPDATE: Little brother is very quick with a glass shard.
UPDATE: So THAT'S why Vice President Biden wants us to stay off the subway!
UPDATE: Next week: Kim "Stem Cells" Bauer is back.
UPDATE: OK, this week, not to put too fine a point on it, sucked monkey gonads. It will surely seem better when processed by the mind of The Amazing Steve.