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May 28, 2009

CSI: FLATHEAD VALLEY

(Thanks to Sue Jenkins)

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Welcome to another episode of As The Meth Burns.

Gotta love small towns....from a distance.

Oh, I love to camp in a suspicious manner!

"Flathead" explains a lot.

Thankfully I read the previous police blotter or I would never have known that a dog chased another dog down Flathead Drive.I sure hate those built up areas and all their crime.
Nothing that exciting has ever happened here.

5:14 a.m. Mary Jo completed the quiz "What breed of dog are you?" with the result Pembroke Welsh Corgi.

Jeez, how do they handle all the excitement?

I've camped in a haunted manor before, but never a suspicious manner.

"12:09 p.m. A separated couple on McGregor Lake has been quarrelling. Each party claims that the other is mentally unstable. The verbal dispute dissolved into violence when one threw an unloaded gun at the other."

That settles the question of which one is mentally challenged. Don't they know you're supposed to shoot a gun, not throw it?

This article reflects a particularly dry, almost scorched, humor.

I never considereed calling the police when I suspected somebody may not return an item I lent. Is that a pre-emptive attempted crime?

I don't know, Guin. Superman was never afraid of the bullets but always dodged when the bad guy threw the empty gun at him.

Welcome to another episode of As The Meth Burns.
Having lived most of my life in just such a small town, all I can say is "Ain't that the truth."

For the greatest of all small-town newspaper police blotters, I give you The Arcata Eye

From the May 6 issue:

Loopheads, the creepy and scary strange

10:59 a.m. A man at the library said another patron had threatened to sodomize him, and that the circumstances wouldn’t be negotiable. “It’s going to be up your a** and I’ll tell you where and when we’re going to do it,” the self-appointed rump-coveter quipped.

11:02 a.m. With the 4/20 druggie holiday imminent, a Community Forest user reported numerous campsites set up in the park, off Trail 9, off Trail 8 at the “loophead” and off the fire road. Coincidentally, some of the campers were loopheads themselves.

11:17 a.m. A homeless man consulted with police about his own anger issues. He’d grabbed his wife during an argument and startled himself with his ferocity, and wanted advice on how to handle it.

And so on.

I'm so proud of my community.

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