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April 28, 2009

THE BLOODHOUNDS WOULD HAVE FOUND HIM EASILY

Homeless man charged with stealing cologne

Key Name: Exzander Outlaw

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

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Outlaw was charged with retail theft.

(This story seems a little contrived.)

I say, go out each night and douse your local homeless guy.

Police did not recover the items taken from the store.This will be a key point in the lawsuit that makes Exander Outlaw's lawyer a rich man.

Police were called at 9:45 a.m. and arrest Outlaw shortly after 10 a.m. he refused to talk with the officers, who did not recover the items taken from the store.

Now arrest the prufredder.

Well, Mothers Day is just around the corner. He probably just wanted to get his Mom something nice.

Retail theft is very serious. Wholesale theft, on the other hand, is rewarded handsomely.

Now on sale at K-Mart: A new fragrance called Purloin by Bernie madoff.

Fun fact: "Over 43 % of the Deaths in Russian Men Caused by Drinking Cologne..."

'Exzander' sounds russian, no?

Exzander sounds russian, yes trustf8. I used to have a lot of 'bums' come into the ER drunk on Aqua Velva, Nyquil ( when it still had alcohol in it) and Listerine. Usually they would get it at a dollar store because it was cheaper and for some reason the cheap brands have more alcohol in them. Family Dollar's brand of Listerine was the preferred item.

I accept credit for submitting this item on behalf of the person, to be named later, who actually submitted it. Whoever you are, you can pick up your award in the lobby at the end of the business day. (Assuming Judi has sobered up by then and found out who really sent it in.)

" Eau de Homeless " is one of my favorites.

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