24

Here is where we stand:

I'm not sure. I missed last week because I was in Colorado doing tax-deductible research on the condition of the ski industry. But as I understand it, the key plot developments are as follows:

Jack still has a bad case of Fatal Death Biodisease Of Doom, which is incurable, except now the doctors are saying that (Surprise!) it might NOT be incurable, but to cure it they need stem cells from Jack's annoying yet watchable estranged subplot daughter, Kim. Jack doesn't want to contact Kim, but we're guessing that Renee the extremely capable FBI agent is going to track Kim down and get some stem cells from her, ideally in a scene that involves mud wrestling.

Meanwhile Olivia, in her capacity as acting White House chief of staff, had sex with a TV reporter (Leon Panetta did this dozens of times). Olivia recorded the act on her cellphone so she could blackmail the reporter into not releasing the bioweapon story. He appears to have agreed, but Olivia will probably put the video on YouTube anyway, because that is how she rolls.

Meanwhile, President Woman President ordered an air strike on the Starkwood compound, but Jon Voight called her up on the White House Evil Puppetmaster Hotline and told her that if she didn't abort the raid he would shoot bioweapon missiles at three Eastern Seaboard cities, so she said, "Fine, as long as one of them is Newark."

No, seriously, she aborted the raid, and tonight she's going to meet with Jon Voight personally in the White House. Maybe Olivia will blackmail him, if you catch my drift.

Edgar is still dead.

Stay tuned after the show in the comments, where The Amazing Steve will somehow make sense of everything. Meanwhile, you can take this scientific poll:

What, in your view, is the main problem with this season of "24?"
	The decision to broadcast it.
	Jack is not doing enough shooting.
	Specifically, shooting the writers.
	There is not enough Chloe.
	And her new hair color is terrible.
	Remember when Chloe tasered the creep in the bar? Now THAT was television.
	They should have kept Juma and the frogpersons in charge of the White House.
	"Juma and the Frogpersons" would be a good name for a rock band.
	I miss Marwan.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: House plays the harmonica!

UPDATE: Is "exfiltration" a word?

UPDATE: Hah! Renee didn't know that RP7 is a propellant used in surface-to-surface missiles. Pathetic.

UPDATE: Jack is going in.

UPDATE: Looks like they patched up all the bullet holes in the White House from the massive firefight there roughly four hours ago.

UPDATE: Wait.... so they leave the president alone in the Oval Office with a homicidal terrorist lunatic? OK, then!

UPDATE: Greg had brochures.

UPDATE: The dramatic percussion soundtrack is making Tony testy.

UPDATE: Jon Voight does his fishlike best to act stunned.

UPDATE: There's a puppetmaster puppetmastering Jon Voight. I knew it.

UPDATE: Jack is weak from the pathogen. Also from not eating since roughly Halloween.

UPDATE: They're sweeping the compound on a grid-by-grid basis.

UPDATE: Tony is OK! Good old Tony.

UPDATE: Jack is having a personality change. This could be very bad.

UPDATE: OK, there was the one explosion, but other than that so far this episode is feeling a lot like Days of Our Lives.

UPDATE: The Dream Angels Pushup from Victoria's Secret is definitely the highlight so far.

UPDATE: "I'm OK." Dying, but OK.

UPDATE: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: Can't anybody hold a gun on anybody in this show?

UPDATE: SWAT Team Alpha! They're very good.

UPDATE: TONY!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Next week: Explosions! "Renee! Renee!"

UPDATE: So to summarize the highlights: Tony is evil, and Victoria's Secret has a new Dream Angels Pushup. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

POSTSCRIPT: In last week's poll, only 2 percent of the respondents voted for Tony as the mole, vs. 11 percent for Colonel Mustard and 15 percent for "An actual mole."

Comments

[nursecindy]

Never thought I'd say this but, I agree with Sharkie. I think you're absolutely right. Of course it could be the cold medicine talking.

[oneblankspace]

And Dave, maybe if you actually folowed the link to the Fox "24" page (as opposed to the Fox24 page) you could watch last week's episode on line. But hurry.

No House neck's weak. Does that mean Double 24?

[Wizzy]

Oneblankspace, I thought about that too, the "fifth branch," I thought we already had a 5th branch, but hey. Maybe they're in Montpelier.

[nursecindy]

Is the typepad sticking again?

[homeybeef]

Siouxie, Kumar shot himself for the sake of "a very special episode". All while Meat Loaf was not going to die even after 50 doctors told him he was.

[Renee (the First)]

"OOH!!! BLOOD!!!! YAY!!! *drinks*"

Diva, please tell me that doesn't mean what it sounds like. I have a steadfast rule not to have vampires as friends!

[Siouxie]

No way, Sharkie. I'm kinda liking the "Tony, the bad boy" thing.

[danceswithvowels]

Duo ex machina, eh, Catherine? I like the shape of that development!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Almost done! Just checking things over! Posting soon!

[Siouxie]

Ok..I'm about to hurt Typepoop.

[Siouxie]

ok...someone just let me know when I'm here...

la la la

[danceswithvowels]

Blank, don't forget 4-1/3. Merchant Marines! Or 7.5% of the writers' Abysmal Gross Idea, whichever is less.

[Renee (the First)]

Hmm, TypePoop seems to have pooped out.

[Siouxie]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Siouxie]

ok..who broke the blog?? TONY????

[Wes S.]

I think the blog just froze up again...

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Previously on "24": We learned that if Jack doesn't get to shoot something for a while, he starts to get the shakes and blames it on "toxic gas exposure"; Speaking of "Toxic Gas", Janis yet again proved she's no Chloe; Ken and Olivia vied for the Sleazy Weasel of the Year award; Jonas must have terrible depth perception because he wanted to show Douglas a large glass bottle up close, but ended up hitting him over the head with it; Mrs. President stopped an air strike, which would have put the whole show out of it's misery.

1:00 am – Tony's still sneaking around, watching a truck at the compound. Jack gives Tony the bad news, no air strike, and no quick end to this season. Tony notices that they're pumping "RP-7" into the depot. Renee thinks that with a little help with C3PO they could use his protocol droid abilities to talk to the surface to air missiles and save the day. Tony tells her that she wouldn't know a Jawa from an Ewok, and besides, "RP-7" is rocket fuel. Jack suggests they use the C4 that Tony just happens to have in his pocket. He wants Tony to blow up the truck using a remote detonator, which is a much better detonator than the "up close" detonator, but Jack has to make a call to Mrs. President first.

1:02 am – Agent Tim comes in to tell Mrs. President that the Joint Chiefs have been smoking quite a bit of what they're in charge of, and are wondering why she didn't bomb Starkwood into next week. Mrs. President tells him it's because she invited Jonas Hodges to the White House, and doesn't really want to answer any of his other questions because she forgot those lines in the so-called "script-thingie" for the show.

A receptionist calls to let Mrs. President know that Jack and Renee are on the phone. Mrs. President is hoping that they're calling from "Who Wants To Save The World", and that she's one of their lifelines. She really doesn't want to hear what Jack says. Jack interrupts, and lets her know that HE knows all about the surface to air rockets. She relents and tells Jack all about the rockets, and Hodges. She thinks she can talk Hodges out of it! Jack wants to act quickly, but all this "talking" is slowing things down! Jack wants Mrs. President to trust him… she tells Jack that she expects Jack will do what he thinks is right!

1:09 am – Greg and Jonas arrive at the White House, and are pretty impressed there are no signs of Juma, dead bodies or bullet holes. Jonas heads into the meeting with Mrs. President.

1:10 am – Larry talks on the phone with Renee, and says that "technically" Mrs. President didn't authorize anything. Good thing that Jack is "technical", and it turns out Larry is still upset about what happened before, so he wants to see some explosions too.

At FBI, Jack calls Tony and gives him the "go-ahead" as long as he isn't detected. It's fine if he's detected by blowing stuff up, but anytime before that is a "no-no".

1:11 am – The bad guys want to do another "perimeter" check. We get a good look at the rockets, and they look exactly like the rockets you used to fill up with water and shoot off when you were a kid. Except these are much bigger. If they work anything like the little rockets, there's no chance these things can launch.

Tony arrives pointing a gun at one of the thugs. He knocks one guy out, and takes another thug downstairs through some doors that look like they were left over from Auntie Em's House in "Wizard of Oz".

Commercial

1:17 am – Jonas arrives with Greg, insults him in an introduction to the President, and says that the Oval Office smells funny. She tells him that's because very patriotic people have been in that office, and that's why he doesn't recognize the smell. Jonas tries to suggest that he had nothing to do with Juma, despite Mrs. President's pesky "evidence".

Jonas tries to give Mrs. President a sales pitch for his company, to help shape military policy, and he even brought color brochures he just got from Kinko’s! Mrs. President says this is "blackmail". Jonas says that, technically, it's "PowerPoint".

1:22 am – Tony goes around putting C4 everywhere and is about to leave, and then he stupidly un-handcuffs the guy he took downstairs. Upstairs, the thug on the ground that Tony took out was faking it, and he knocks the remote out of Tony's hand! The other thug types in "867-5309", signaling they're about to launch Jenny, and the rockets onto the last train to Clarksville, where the missiles are pointing.

A guy downstairs with the rockets wants to be super-sure everything is a "go" for the rocket attack, and this gives Tony just enough time to get the remote back, set it off and dive for cover.

Tim interrupts the PowerPoint presentation Jonas is giving Mrs. President. They both leave Jonas and Greg in the Oval Office, where they could steal ANYTHING… anyway, they leave, and Tim tells her that they detected a giant explosion at Starkwood, and he's about 57% sure this has something to do with those rockets.

A lot of FBI agents come back into the Oval Office and Mrs. President orders them all arrested. Jonas tells her that he's a small cog in a big machine, like an ant in a huge swarm. She tells him he's a big ant hole.

He tells her that it's not over, and he won't tell her what he means.

Commercial

1:31 am – Renee tells Jack that the current plot device, the nerve agent, is no longer a problem, since it all burned up.

Jack gets a phone call from Mrs. President, and she thanks him. Jack thinks this is a good opportunity to ask for a pardon for Tony and … ooo! He sees something shiny! Jack forgets what he was talking about. Mrs. President says she'll take care of Tony and that she wishes she could help Jack. Jack says he has to go to see the Doctor. Mrs. President asks the CDC to keep her informed of what's happening to Jack.

1:32 am – Tony's safe, and arrested. Larry is rounding up arresting people. The thug that Tony nearly let get the better of him is there too. Renee says she has to go… KIM BAUER is here! She hasn’t been here in quite a while.

Tony asks about Kim, and is worried about Jack. Larry tells him that he's pretty impressed that Tony helped out the way he did, and orders Tony's handcuffs removed.

1:33 am – Jack talks to the doctor, and he can't quite explain what's happening, since he keeps forgetting things, and doesn't feel like himself. The doctor says that one of the things that might happen is that his personality might change! Jack asks if this means he'll be able to do better Christopher Walken impressions, and she says she's not sure how the gas will act, since it's been weaponized. Jack looks very concerned that he might turn into a wimp. He leaves the room.

1:37 am – Jack tells Renee that he needs to start telling someone everything before he completely forgets about what happened today. Renee tells him about Kim, and Jack gets REALLY upset that Renee brought Kim in. Renee tells Jack that Kim has been trying to see him for quite a while. At least several seasons. Jack's surprised Kim wanted to see him, since she could have just turned on the TV or bought the DVDs.

Commercial

1:43 am – Kim and Jack talk a bit, but have even more awkward silences. She apologizes for leaving the show several seasons ago, and blames herself. She wants to make up for this lost time by using "stem cell" therapy, which involves a risk to her, and a "possible" reversal of the problem that Jack is having. ("Possible", in this case, means 100% recovery). Kim gives him a hug, and he seizes up again, nearly giving her a head lock. He asks her to leave, and he start to cry.

1:47 am – At Starkwood, a random FBI agent says everything is "OK", which of course means that everything is definitely NOT "OK", and about a nanosecond later, a Starkwood thug shoots him. Nearly immediately, Agent Davis shows up, and gets the thug to put down his Hannah Montana book bag. Davis looks in it, and there's a thermos inside. Well, not so much a thermos, as a container of the gas weapon that was completely destroyed. Except for this canister. And probably many others like it that haven't been found yet. Davis calls Larry, and while explaining everything to Larry, he lets his guard down and gets attacked by the thug. Davis is shot, and the thug takes off, completely ignoring Larry yelling into the handheld radio Davis was using. Davis ignores this too, mainly because he was shot. And maybe dead.

Larry calls Renee, and lets her know the season isn't over yet, because they have to go find that canister. They're both hoping that SOMEBODY might be able to help them. If they only knew someone with experience in situations like this.

Commercial

1:54 am – The Starkwood thug drives, while Larry and Tony fly by helicopter looking for him. Renee has to endure some stupid questions from Janis, who starts saying things like "Hey! I thought TONY destroyed ALL the bioweapons." (Nearly a whole Janis free hour, ruined). Janis finds the suspect, and Renee tells everyone that they need to set up a roadblock at the county line.

The helicopter finds the guy, who is driving on completely empty streets. They shine a huge spotlight on the car, hoping that maybe the driver won't notice that he's be found. The suspect gets out of the car, bright lights all around, and puts his hands over his head to hide while he runs away.

The helicopter lands, the suspect shoots the helicopter pilot, in that order, which is good for Tony and Larry. The thing that's bad for Larry and Tony at this point is that they're getting shot at.

Larry gets shot and goes down. Tony goes to help him and has his back turned on the suspect. Larry gurgles a warning. Instead of getting up and shooting the suspect, Tony turns and covers Larry's mouth to suffocate him! Larry forgets to breath through his nose, and ends up dying.

Tony asks to see the bio-weapon, and tells the thug he'll work out a story so he can get away!

2:00 am – Time's up!

Commercial – Chloe's in a commercial! She's complaining about global warming! She says that Jack can't shoot it.

NEXT TIME ON 24: TONY SHOOTS HIMSELF! RENEE IS UPSET! JONAS WANTS OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE JAIL! A BUILDING BLOWS UP! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

[John]

Wow!

[Siouxie]

I'm just gonna keep drooling over Nathan Fillion.

[Siouxie]

SOMEONE FIX THIS!!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Anyone seeing any comments? Looks like it's stuck at 10:11 pm for me.

[trustf8]

(sigh) waiting nearly an hour for page 6 & STEVE to appear......

[ArcticAl]

Has the blog died? No posts for 50 minutes.
Maybe Tony blew it up too. We want Steve! We want Steve! We want Steve!

[Wes S.]

Is the blog frozen up for anyone else?

[lavid d.]

bye the way, synchronicity working? the
digital(over the air) movie channel
"this" is airing "Attack of the puppet
people" this month. the old 'B' 50's B/w
movie seems like inspiration for the lack
of plot in this season's "24"!!!

[CharlieE]

Wow. That was dumb. Way dumb. That was so dumb that Dumbness itself is embarrassed by it.

The writers are truly phoning it in now.

[judi]

testing

[Wizzy]

Is the blog broke? Where's Steve? Where's my last comment?

[judi]

what the heck is going on?

[Cassie]

Is this broken?

Tony!!!!!

[Clean Hands]

It all seems to be working here. Well, the blog, at least. 24 is not working anymore. And Chloe looked PISSED to have to pitch that crap about global warming, when Jack is mooing, and Tony is being evil.

D'ya think that maybe the writers caught on that we all take a drink when someone says "perimeter," and counted on that to keep our savaging of what they laughably call a "plot" under control?

[Jeff Meyerson]

I miss Marwan too. His Evilness was on Chuck last week.

*snork* at the White House Evil Puppetmaster Hotline by the way

The beauty about waiting for the morning to comment is not that the show seems better, but the blog does.

Not only do I miss Marwan, but when are they going to dump Janis and bring back Chloe? Sheesh.

Anyway, Jonas demands a "private" meeting with the President and brings Greg? ("Greg honey, is it supposed to be this soft?" - Sorry, couldn't resist a gtratuitous Animal House reference.)

When did Mrs. P last think about getting an update on whether or not Henry is still alive?

The good thing about the episode: no Olivia.

The bad thing: most everything else.

[Wizzy]

Stupid blog was broken last night. But Steve - loved the President calling Jonas an ant hole. ha ha ha

[Meanie the Blue]

Whoa. Looks like TypeNad put its own evil subplot on the show. Maybe that's why Jack was crying?

Thanks again, Steve, for adding some extra laughs to my morning.

*Makes note to throw away all close-up detonators*

[trustf8]

((((establishes perameter around desktop to conceal reading 24 recap @work...))))
Thank you steve.The only thing that can TRULY 'stop the clock' is the evil typewad.

[donald Hinkle]

You shouldn't complain about the plot,folks. Just think what our miserable lives would be like without "24"...
No Jack, no thighs, no treacherous "patriots"...

[Jeff Meyerson]

So, if Jonas was telling the truth (I know, he never has so far) and he's just a "small cog" then who is Mr. Big? Any guesses?

I know he's dead (but wasn't Tony?), but the only one big enough (let's hope it's not the Evil Chinese Subplot) is Farmer Hoggett.

Or not.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sorry, Farmer Hoggett.

[Confused]

So, let me get this straight -- Tony, who used to be a bad guy, but then turned good, is now bad again?

[ajcook]

Here's the score for last night's "24 - The Drinking Game":

1 - Jack said "perimeter" (has to be Jack, not just anyone)

2 - Kim appeared on the show (we threw that bonus rule in at the beginning of the episode)

3 - Cloe smiled (OK, it was the actress, not the character, and it was in a commercial, not the show...but, still it was a REAL smile this time, and within the airtime of the episode, plus, we all wanted one more shot)

So, Season 7, 1:00am-2:00am, 3 Tequila shots.

See you next week.

[ajcook]

If you want to play "24 - The Drinking Game", here are the rules:

Everyone takes a tequila shot when one of the following happens:
* Jack (has to be Jack) says "perimeter"
* Jack (has to be Jack) tortures someone
* Jack (has to be Jack) orders someone to drop his/her gun/weapon
* Jack (has to be Jack) dies and comes back to life
* Jack downloads something (anything) to his PDA or phone
* Cloe smiles (has to be a real smile, not just a smirk...this can lead to quite a bit of debate, while those around you are just taking the shot anyway...so quit arguing about it)
* At half time if there has been no shot opportunity by then (or, if house rules allow, at half time even if there has been a shot in the first half)
* At the end of the episode, if house rules allow it (and there's tequila left to get rid of)

Optional...at the beginning of the episode, you may with to declare one or two extra rules good for that night only (such as "if a helicopter crashes tonight").

Them's the rules. Enjoy.

[ajcook]

Hand raising

Last season, I happened to declare to our group "raise your hand if you think Nadia is hot". All the men's hands went up instantly (and one of the women, too).

Somehow, we knew, without say to, that every time Nadia was on screen, we would raise our hands in the air.

This has evolved into raising our hand in the air anytime ANY hot woman is on screen.

Renee is positively draining the blood out of our arms. And, when Kim showed up last night, that called for some hand raising.

So, raise a hand for good measure.

Cheers.

[lymond shankenheim]

Fact: The bio-agent is not deadly, Jack will start getting better in a couple of hours. Hodges (actually Stanton) just demonstrating how vulnerable US is, not actually going to kill thousands just make them freak out like Bauer.

Yes, Tony (along with Stanton) is still doubling on the bigger conspiracy (the one where Bush and Cheney are staging a coup to install Glenn Beck as the emperator universalis).

[Diva]

Here's how I think this will play out: Evil puppetmaster Jon Voight is going to turn out to be a pretty nice guy, he just can't help being puppetmastered by a bigger puppetmaster. Janeane Garofolo will announce her undying lesbian love for the highly competent FBI agent Renee. Jack will subject the pathogens infecting his body to an "enhanced interrogation" until they tell him who the mole is, then he will summon a zombified Larry Moss to take the pathogens into custody immediately. A yet-unforeseen mole will turn out to be an actual American shrew mole. Then when Tony threatens to destroy the world, Angelina Jolie will show up as a deux ex machina, if you will. There will be some incest involved, but in the end everything will make sense.

Posted by: Catherine | April 13, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Catherine, are you helping Steve?!

And Renee - LOL!!

[Wizzy]

Farmer Hoggett is not dead, he just floated off in a rubber boat (not kidding).

[E in Mn]

By the way, Chloe's hair color is not new. It was new in season 7 (day 7). Remember? "They" (the producers, or whoever the idiot was who thought of it) thought it would glam up Chloe. Sigh.

[Andrea]

Tony, there's two teams: patriots and terrorists.
YOU GOTTA PICK ONE.

[sevenof9fl]

Will TypePoop work tonight or will I et all excited for nothing?

Inquiring minds want to know!

[jose]

get rid of Garofalo the scumbag bitch!

[Ben Terry]

My problem is Janine Garafolo. She is a radical liberal, not just left wing. Her comments on the Tea Parties were way over board and totally insulting to people attending, some with their families. She has a view point with no grasp of reality. If she continues on the show I will not be watching it any longer. I have enjoyed the show from the beginning, but I can not stomach Garafalo. I was not one of those attending the Tea Parties.