24

Here is where we stand:

Tony is a mole. Last week he suffocated FBI Agent Larry in a dramatic 17-minute suffocation scene involving two commercial breaks for the new Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere.

Tony's accomplice, Galvez, made off with a cannister of the Deadly Death Fatal Pathogen of Doom, which is capable of killing thousands of people, including, tragically, many potential customers for the new Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere. If we have learned anything from watching 24 over the years, aside from the fact that 62 percent of all federal employees are moles, it is that the government needs to ban cannisters, because they never seem to contain anything that would benefit humanity -- Yoo-Hoo, for example -- and sooner or later the terrorists ALWAYS get hold of them.

Jack Bauer, who is still dying from the pathogen, had an extremely boring moving reconciliation scene with his estranged daughter Kim, who strikes this blog as the kind of gal who would know her way around the new Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere. Kim wants to give Jack some of her stem cells. But Jack won't let her, because the experimental cure is risky and could, we don't know, wreck her stem.

Jon Voight was arrested and claims he is a cog in a much bigger machine. What this machine is, and whether it has any connection with the new Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere is anybody's guess.

Edgar is still dead.

After tonight's episode -- which may or may not feature commercials for the new Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere -- be sure to stick around in the comments for the wrapup by The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here is this week's scientific poll:

What do you think is the "much bigger machine" Jon Voight referred to?
	Organized crime.
	China.
	Evil billionaires connected to the vice president, who has mysteriously disappeared from the plot.
	The military.
	The producers of "Heroes."
	An actual machine.
	Microsoft.
	The New York Yankees.
	Oprah.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE:Hey, what happened to House?

UPDATE: The lookalike-blond-babe-lawyers switcheroo.

UPDATE: When will they stop with the perimeters?

UPDATE: Did Tony just shoot himself in the thigh?

UPDATE: How come, when a character on TV is told that somebody is dead, that character always responds, quote: "What?"

UPDATE: If I had about a day to live because of a deadly pathogen, I would go to Vegas. Whereas Jack chooses to debrief.

UPDATE: Evidently Tony missed his thigh.

UPDATE: So they check the lawyer's thumbprint, but they don't search her briefcase?

UPDATE: The Lozenge of Death!

UPDATE: We are climbing the puppetmaster chain.

UPDATE: It's amazing how quickly people on this show recover from gunshot wounds.

UPDATE: You know what would have been great? If they had pulled back the sheet that was supposed to be over Larry's body, and underneath was: Edgar.

UPDATE: Awww the li'l Kimlet.

UPDATE: Is a "secure net" different from a perimeter?

UPDATE: Still no commercial for the Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere, at least none that we have had a visual on.

UPDATE: Jack wants a map overlay.

UPDATE: Boom.

UPDATE: Renee might need a second Band-Aid.

UPDATE: I kind of like Jack when he twitches. It makes him human somehow.

UPDATE: Tony says global warming is bad, which must mean... global warming is good.

UPDATE: Next week: Explosions, Jack vs. Jon Voight (doesn't anybody ever really die in this show?). Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[Dr Alice]

I'm still sort of hoping Charles Logan will be involved somehow... wouldn't that be a hoot!

[trustf8]

*stumbles on much awaited 24 blog, surfing home blog, in a blog-fog*...huh?

[Wes S.]

How interesting that all the votes so far are for Micro$oft (my choice) or the Yankees.

And I'm not sure "Kim" really needs any help from Victoria's Secret, IYKWIM(AITYD). That would be almost too much of a good thing...

[trustf8]

umm, did i lose a week somewhere? hmmm...

[Suzy Q]

I voted Oprah, because, to me, there is no bigger tool machine in the universe.

[Siouxie]

LMAO Suz..I voted Oprah too!!

[Clown Puppy]

How were you able to post something on April 27, 2009 when it's only April 20th? Curious.

[Wes S.]

And now the Yankees are in the lead...in what may be their best performance yet in this new baseball season.

[Tori Lennox]

I see Victoria's Secret bought some product placement time on tonight's blog.

[trustf8]

i voted yankees. we all know jack's coming to NY to 'play ball...'

[Mitch]

Someone has been thinking about Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up brassiere.

[NotSherly]

As a Sox fan, I had to vote for the Yankees as the premier evil machine.

[MartiniShark]

Going to be tough pulling away from the playoffs tonight as the Rangers are having their backsides handed to them on a silver platter with a toothpick inserted in the right cheek with a small flag displaying "Your Ass".

On account that I hate them.

[lakedog]

obviously kim does not need the victorias secret push up bra!

[angstly yours]

Thanks to Clown Puppy, Judi will be fired . . .again

[lakedog]

By the way, just so you know, I LIKE PLYWOOD!

[redwave72]

Must admit surprise at how poorly Montpelier is doing in tonight's poll. Peaked too soon, I guess.

[Dave]

I posted it from the future, which is where I live.

[homeybeef]

Comcast is being a douche bag tonight so I hope I will be able to keep up but I promise nothing

[trustf8]

Wanna place bets on how soon TypeWad stops the clock this week?

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Ready to go!

I think Tony had to take out Larry out of necessity, since if he let him live he wouldn't be able to follow the guys with the canisters.

We'll see you after the show!

[AC (Not Mallett)]

Is this the week Edgar comes back? Is Kim Bauer a mole infecting Jack Bauer with poisoned bone marrow? None of these questions will be answered at my live blog which doesn't hold a candle to Dave's. Stop by if you need some mediocrity in your life.

[Siouxie]

Steve, I hope the bot doesn't crap out like last week!!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

"I posted it from the future, which is where I live.

Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2009 at 08:54 PM"

I live there too! www.futuresteve.com

Really!

[Wes S.]

Personally, I'm hoping this is the week J'Inane Garofalo's character gets whacked. Preferably in a really painful way.

Like being slowly strangled with a Victoria's Secret Dream Angels push-up bra, for instance.

[Cassie]

Hi everyone!!!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
KCAJ AERBU ROPWE OUHR!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™ is going to eat that dirty, rotten lousy snake Tony for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next century!") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ is no longer talking to Tony.")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This "24" intro was brought to you by traitors. Yep, you heard right. Traitors!

[Siouxie]

Yeah. What Dave said. What happened to House?? I was stuck watching Dancing With the Stars!!!

[homeybeef]

oy. it begins

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

OK! Gotta write! See ya after the show!

[homeybeef]

Daddy?!?!

[Mitch]

I love it when they give a content warning.

[tw]

Does anybody know what time it is? Last week's episode was so shocking that it stopped my clock!

[danceswithvowels]

Hi back, Cassie! And everyone!

[Cassie]

Re: House
May Sweeps starts next week. Maybe they're waiting for that.

[Gennita Low]

Hiya. Is Tony still bad?

[Siouxie]

Wes, I agree!

[Cassie]

Gennita,
Tony ---> New Krycek

[Cassie]

No silent clock for Larry.

[MartiniShark]

You know according to Garafalo I'm too ig-rant to gather in this complex show. I should flood her email with all the plot hole so's she can splain it all.

[Tori Lennox]

Who the heck is Patricia? Oh, she's Jon Voight's lawyer.

[Siouxie]

Candygram!!

[tw]

Oh no.....GAS!

[Tori Lennox]

Well, that was unexpected.

[Mitch]

Ouch.

[trustf8]

evil twin?

[Michelle Kaufman]

We interrupt our regularly-scheduled program to bring you this breaking news flash...The University of Miami, alma mater of Mrs. Blog, was named today No. 1 party school in the nation by Playboy magazine. The University of Florida was No. 4. Go Canes!! Ok, resume your 24 fun...

[Diva]

what a face!!!

[Freejon]

WHO are these people?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Terrorists with advanced cloning capabilities! Maybe they'll bring back Marwan!

[Wizzy]

I really want Charles Logan to be involved. Big time. He's such a great creep.

[Mitch]

Doppleganger!

[Suzy Q]

Is that a KimClone? Is that like ImClone?

[Siouxie]

Sharkie, she's a twit. Guess her movie career's working out real good.

[Wes S.]

Perimeter! Drink!

[danceswithvowels]

Good thing all blondes use the same optical correction.

[Diva]

*waves @ Mrs. Blog!!* Hi! :)

[Cassie]

Die Janine... slowly... very slowly...

[Wiley]

Oh, good. They've secured a perimeter. Nothing to worry about, then.

[Largebill]

Larry's not dead. Tony faked smothering him. He is a quadruple double turn back mole.

[Siouxie]

YAY Michelle!! WTG Canes!!!!!

[Wizzy]

Does it count if Janis says "perimeter?" Tony - hey ya know, Larry looks really dead.

[Mitch]

Did he just shoot himself in the crotch?

[Gennita Low]

Why do they all die with injections between their fingers and toes? So Michael Clayton.

[Cassie]

No gunshot residue on Larry's fingers, Tony.

[Suzy Q]

UM Motto: We try harder...TO PARTAY!!!!

[MartiniShark]

Huh, Tony missed his own thigh.

[tw]

Ouch! I hate it when that happens!!

[Gennita Low]

Perimeter! DRINK!!!!

[Tori Lennox]

I always like Krycek. Even when he was bad. I guess I can go with Evil Tony.

[Diva]

Wow - a multi-simul with Mrs. Blog?! I don't even need Jack tonight!

Oh, what am I saying?!?

[Wes S.]

Somebody on another blog said that in the closed-captioning of last week's episode, Pet Sematary Tony told Larry to "swallow" when he placed his hand over Larry's mouth, just before "strangling" him.

So Larry may still be with us, if that's true.

[Cassie]

COUGAR!!!

[Siouxie]

In honor of UM Canes...DRINK!!!

[trustf8]

dont let the door hit you in the arse kim

[Freejon]

drop it freckles!

[Suzy Q]

What, Wes? Now the guys have to swallow, too?

[danceswithvowels]

Hiya, Mrs. Blog. Thanks for the interrupt!

[Renee (the First)]

*Just looked at mole photo*

*Is completely grossed out*

[Cassie]

Yeah they got to say a lot of things to each other...
When the hell did Kim call Jack Daddy? That was creepy.

[Wiley]

Prepare to shed bitter tears, Freckles.

[Wizzy]

Kim is an idiot. If my daddy were dying and I wanted to connect with him there is no way I'd be leaving.

[trustf8]

Does anyone else notice extra bumps on freckles face? ew

[tropichunt.com guy™]

At the rate that Jack is forgetting things, just wait a few minutes. He'll forget it.

Oh, wait! I bet Dudley DoRight is going to be a match for Jack's stem cell transplant!

[Wes S.]

Well, jeez...you'd think Kim would at least drop off a test tube full of stem cells before heading back to LA, right?

Or is this the best way the scriptwriters could come up to set Kimmy up to be kidnapped for the umpteenth time in the series?

[MartiniShark]

Snork @Ms.Q

[Diva]

Blah, blah, blah...wave goodbye, Kim.....

[tw]

Perimeter!

[Wizzy]

Agent Freckles has a funny "shocked" expression.

PERIMETER! 2 in the first 10 minutes!~

[Cassie]

Perimeter! Drink!

[Siouxie]

Perimeter! DRINK

[Cassie]

Perimeter! DRINK!!!!

[Gennita Low]

Perimeter line! Drink again! Good in five minutes!

[Suzy Q]

Wow - Agent Freckles' freckles look really freckley in HD.

[MartiniShark]

"Larry was ambushed at a Tea Party, he refused to listen to your warnings Janice."

[tw]

Larry has an ex wife? SHE'S the one behind all this!!!

[danceswithvowels]

Maintain the perimeter?! Renee's phoning it in. Well, she is in shock. And was dead earlier in the day.

[Wes S.]

Mad Cow Jack showing symptoms again. Mooooo.

[Cassie]

Is Freckles a housewrecker? Ooooo... she shouldn't call Larry's ex-wife.

[Wizzy]

Ewwww @ Larry's "Swallowing."