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March 27, 2009

A QUESTION FOR THE GENERATIONS

On Saturday my wife and I went to a bar in Miami to see one of those bands -- there are millions -- made up of older professional guys (doctors, lawyers, etc.) who play oldies rock. As usual, the crowd was older, and as usual, after people had had somewhere between two and six beers, they danced. I'm not saying they all danced well; some of them appeared to be having a series of violent seizures. But they got out there. When we left around midnight, the dance floor was packed.

A few nights later I went to an event at a hyper-trendy club on South Beach. It was also packed, but the crowd was much younger. Instead of a band, there was a DJ, who was playing what sounded to me (I am old) like one long song, although this appeared to require a great deal of effort on his part. There was plenty of alcohol, in the form of trendy drinks. But nobody was dancing. A few people bobbed their heads rhythmically as they checked messages on their iPhones. But not one person danced.

I've noticed the same thing at other events: Older people dance; younger people don't. Why is that? Feel free to answer in the comments. Or you can take this scientific poll.

Why don't young people dance?
They're afraid to look uncool, like you pathetic old dorks.
Their music sucks.
They DO dance, but only after you pathetic old dorks have gone to bed.
There should be a law limiting the number of doctor-lawyer bands.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls

THIS IS THE LAST ONE, WE SWEAR

(Thanks to Danny)

Update: Except for this one.

NEITHER THE DEAD NOR THE TAXPAYERS HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS

Two psychics from Wales have been awarded £4,500 of government funding to teach people how to 'communicate with the dead'.

(Thanks to Siouxie, Jeff Meyerson and Danny)

MIRACLE IN SAN FRANCISCO

(Thanks to John)

TENNESSEE TACKLES THE ISSUES

A pair of Memphis legislators argued Wednesday over whether a bill to fine people who wear their pants so low they expose their underwear amounts to "legislating fashion" or "legislating decency and hygiene."

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

THE DRUG WAR

Why we're losing.

(Thanks to Danny)

NO DOUBT SHE NOW REALIZES HOW IMPORTANT IT IS

Man shot while teaching wife about gun care

(Thanks to Shari)

HE COULD HAVE A FINE CAREER IN FLORIDA TRAFFIC ENFORCEMENT

Federal Way's police chief on Thursday issued a public apology for a minor traffic collision that took place while he was checking his BlackBerry in his unmarked police car.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ALTHOUGH HE REEKED OF GARLIC

A school administrator wants to set the record straight: There are no vampires at Boston Latin.

(Thanks to Alison McQuade)

DON'T CLICK ON THIS UNTIL AFTER BREAKFAST

Toilet sausages.

(Thanks to Danny, Horace LaBadie, collins69s, Karen Bridgers, Eric, catmanmax, Jeff Meyerson and DavCat)

CALLING MULDER AND SCULLY

Strange noises at the Hooker hut.

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

Possibly related item with fake-looking photo here.

(Thanks to John Gregg)

SO THIS BOBCAT WALKS INTO THIS BAR...

(Thanks to Damon Daniels)

MAYBE THEY COULD ALSO KEEP AN EYE ON CONGRESS FOR US

Patrol watches Texas-Mexico border - from pub in Australia

(Thanks to CJrun)

SHE IS OF COURSE WELCOME ON THE ROADS OF FLORIDA

SHELBY - Officials Thursday reportedly found a driver with a stolen car, revoked license, an open container of alcohol - and marijuana between her "butt cheeks."

(Thanks to nursecindy)

FLORIDA NEIGHBOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR

BITHLO, Fla. (AP) - Authorities said a man threw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor's trailer, but the wind shifted and set fire to two cars, a pickup and a travel trailer in the man's own yard.

(Thanks to Emily Breder and And the TropicHunt.com Guy)

March 26, 2009

BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK. AND SOME CHILI.

According to Ben's Biz Blog, the first 250 fans to attend the April 14 Lake Elsinore Storm game will receive a free sample of Subtle Butt flatulence neutralizer.

(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig)

WE'RE SURE IT WILL WAIT FOR HIM

 (Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert and Matt Filar)

A TEENAGER DETERRENT EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN MANILOW MUSIC

Acne lights.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

ATTENTION, PEOPLE OF LICESTERS LEISTECR ENGLAND

Stay out of the canals.

Article-1165011-041B51F7000005DC-596_468x286

(Thanks to Siouxie)

ALCOHOL MAY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

TAMPA, FL -- A Tampa woman is behind bars this morning, accused of misusing the 911 system. Police say Evon Cavett called 911 three times to complain her roommate was stealing her beer.

(Thanks to Kay Myers)

INTERNATIONAL ECONOMIC NEWS

This just in.

(Thanks to Danny)

WE'RE GOING TO NEED MORE BEER

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

NOW THAT WE'VE STRAIGHTENED OUT THIS PESKY ECONOMY THING

...it's time to tackle the real issues.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

COOL

Paintball_1372320i

(Thanks to Sarah Stoeffler and Siouxie)

OK NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Manatee Heaters

(Thanks to Bryan)

THEY ARE OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR EACH OTHER

Forgers replace Queen's head with Boy George on fake £20 notes

(Thanks to Shari)

HOW, EXACTLY, IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM CONGRESS?

Scientists found the vast and sticky empire stretching 40 feet across, consisting of billions of genetically identical single-celled individuals, oozing along in the muck of a cow pasture outside Houston.

(Thanks to Mike)

MAYBE HE WAS DREAMING ABOUT BUILD-A-BEAR

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie and Cynthia)

WAIT A MINUTE... WHO IS PLAYING MOE?

Because the world has waited long enough: A remake of The Three Stooges.

(Thanks to to Jeff Meyerson and Allen at Division)

WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES

Slap Chop, the remix.

WARNING: Not safe for work.

(Thanks to Brian)

AND SHE HASN'T EVEN SEEN OUR CAR YET

How are you doing today? hope fine.My name is Miss Jenifer,l saw your profile on livemocha.com and fall in love with you. Believing, if you feel like knowing more about me and for me to share some feelings with you.
�� Try to contact me with my private email address now.

Miss� Jenifer.

POSSIBLE EVIDENCE OF A DEITY

(Thanks to Tony Muscarella)

ALSO, BEARS POOP IN WOODS

Women more attracted to men in expensive cars

(Thanks to flynbenny)

March 25, 2009

BIG FUN IN CAIRNS THIS WEEKEND

Toad Day Out

Key Excerpt: 

Organisers want residents to collect as many toads as possible on Saturday night and take them alive to a Trinity Park collection centre on Sunday morning...

"The toads will be weighed and measured for possible prizes," Ms Ahrens told The Cairns Post.

"The idea is that they will be disposed of humanely by refrigeration and then freezing.

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE POST ESSENTIALLY THE SAME LINK, IT SOMEHOW NEVER FAILS TO AMUSE US

(Thanks to Dr. Doug)

MONTPELIER IN THE NEWS

Those [shoes] will now be enshrined for posterity in the Odor-Eater Hall of Fumes in Montpelier, Vermont, which has been labelled the "Rotten Sneaker Capital of the World".

(Thanks to Onterrible)

APPARENTLY WE ARE THE LAST SITE ON THE INTERNET

...to link to this.

(Sent in by many people)

GELATO-FROM-HELL UPDATE

There has been a poo payout.

(Thanks to Barbara A)

FYI

(Thanks to RussellMc)

HUMANITY IS DOOMED

(Thanks to catmanmax)

BUILD-A-BEAR

It's exciting.

(Thanks to Danny)

HARD TIMES, II

A prostitute in North Carolina has been jailed after breaking down an apartment door and asking the three men inside to pay her 10 dollars for sex.

(Thanks to Siouxie and catmanmax)

THOSE LITTLE FURRED BASTARDS

Now they're overrunning Oonagh Nutt.

(Thanks to Danny)

CHICO CRIME REPORT

It's a hellhole.

(Thanks to Danny)

A STIMULUS PACKAGE FOR HARD TIMES

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WHATEVER YOU WERE PLANNING TO DO TODAY

...it will have to wait.

(Thanks to waxwing)

WHY WE LOVE SPORTS

The passion.

(Thanks to Ken)

NO PANTS, NO SERVICE

James T. Golden, 48, of Pecanwood Court, is alleged to have twice entered the Stop N Buy at 137 Walton Ferry Road completely nude to purchase beer.

(Thanks to funniegrrl)

GIANT WILLY UPDATE

The plague is spreading.

(Thanks to Bryce Donovan)

CREEPING FASCISM IN AUSTRALIA

Now they're banning Tim Tams.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

 
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