Here is where we stand:
At the beginning of last week's episode, Jack Bauer was a rogue agent on the run with the entire federal government trying to stop him as he fought a desperate lonely battle to save the nation from the the evil puppetmaster Jon Voight and his Thing of Death. At the end of the episode, Jack was a rogue agent on the run with the entire federal government trying to stop him as he fought a desperate lonely battle to save the nation from the the evil puppetmaster Jon Voight and his Thing of Death. In between Jack killed the assassin Quinn with a screwdriver -- it did not appear to be a Phillips -- after Quinn killed Sen. That Seventies Show, who had made the mistake of starting to trust Jack, which is almost always violently fatal.
As Quinn was dying, his cell phone received a Twitter stating that that the Thing of Death was going to arrive at the Port of Alexandria, so Jack called Tony and told him to meet him there with a Surveillance Package, which presumably Tony will pick up at the package store.
Meanwhile President Woman President's annoying daughter Olivia has been acting suspicious, which probably means she is innocent. But she is still annoying, so we hope that at some point she starts to trust Jack, if you catch our drift.
Tonight there will be helicopters.
Edgar is still dead.
Be sure to stay tuned in the comments afterward for the wrapup from The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here's a poll:
UPDATE:NOT HENRY! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
UPDATE: "Maybe this day will end on a positive note." Sure! Aside from all the terrorist-caused deaths and the firefight IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
UPDATE: They better get to the helicopters soon.
UPDATE: Do you get the feeling that Carl the Security Guard is roadkill?
UPDATE: Jack has a way with people.
UPDATE: Even evil puppetmaster Jon Voight looks like a dweeb with a Bluetooth headset.
UPDATE: Why did Jack and Tony duct-tape Carl's mouth shut?
UPDATE: UH-oh. Carl is trusting Jack.
UPDATE: "You guys got my back, right?" "Yeah." HAR.
UPDATE: Olivia is SUCH a vixen.
UPDATE: We were promised helicopters. WHERE ARE THE HELICOPTERS??
UPDATE: Larry wants to meet Renee halfway.
UPDATE: Larry wants Renee to sit tight.
UPDATE: Jack is going to save Carl.
UPDATE: Jack and Tony against nine guys. Har.
UPDATE: Jack does not say "Shoot." Jack says "Engage."
UPDATE: The old jump-on-the truck trick!
UPDATE: DON'T GO INTO THE TRUCK, JACK!
UPDATE: That makes, by my count,three million bullets fired at Jack without hitting him just today.
UPDATE: Jack was exposed!
UPDATE: Next week: Jack gets naked! Stay tuned for The Amazing Steve.