24

Here is where we stand:

Last week the evil African subplot Juma and his fighting frogpersons were killed in a firefight in the White House. Bill was also killed, causing Jack to experience angst, but he got over it in time to interrogate Ryan Burnett, the mole and aide to Sen. That Seventies Show. But while Jack was in the hospital room, an assassin named Quinn, taking advantage of the hospital's spacious and modern Overhead Assassin Walkway System, paralyzed Jack with nerve gas, and killed Burnett in such a way as to frame Jack. Quinn was sent by evil puppetmaster Jon Voight, who has acquired some kind of evil thing that has not been identified yet, which he of course plans to use to kill many thousands of innocent people.

So now Jack -- a rogue agent, pursued by his own government -- must singlehandedly save America from an evil mastermind puppetmaster in possession of a Thing of Death. We surely have never seen a plot like THAT before!

Edgar is still dead.

Stay tuned at the end of tonight's episode in the comments section for the return of The Amazing Steve, who will explain what happened. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll (for security reasons, the "h"s have been left out of Jon Voight's last name):

What the heck has Tony been up to while Jack has been going through all this angst?
	He's auditioning for another show where he will have more and better lines.
	He's secretly working with evil puppetmaster Jon Voight.
	He's PRETENDING to work with Jon Voight, but really he's a mole.
	Or, he's just hoping to meet Angelina Jolie.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free pol

UPDATE: OK, this is the previous show, but: Did Kumar urinate on House's chair?

UPDATE: Good thing Jack picked a car with the EZ HotWire option.

UPDATE: "Bauer is an extremely impressive operative." "You don't have to tell me that."

UPDATE: "Tell them to pack their pajamas and their toothbrushes." They had better be paying Jon Voight a LOT of money for this.

UPDATE: OK, did anybody just see the "Town Gown" commercial where the mannekins broke off their fingers? Or am I on LSD again?

UPDATE: Does everybody find Olivia as irritating as I do? Good.

UPDATE: They're going to Mirandize Renee! Those lucky bastards.

UPDATE: I love the way Sen. That Seventies Show, when he sees Bauer, says, quote: "Bauer."

UPDATE: So far, a half hour of our lives totally wasted.

UPDATE: IS that supposed to be the press corps? Applauding?

UPDATE: Olivia leaked about Ethan, right?

UPDATE: Remember when they used the power drill on Morris's shoulder? Now that was an episode.

UPDATE: Or maybe they just want us to think Olivia leaked about Ethan.

UPDATE: Blowfish 148! That's a very good encryption.

UPDATE: Could these computer screens look any faker? I didn't think so.

UPDATE: Let's see: 53 FBI agents vs. Jack Bauer. Hahahahaha.

UPDATE: Jack deeply regrets having had to shoot roughly 879 innocent people in the thigh, but he had NO CHOICE, DAMMIT.

UPDATE: Looks like the Thing of Death is... a bioweapon.

UPDATE: "Trust isn't my greatest asset." Right! A human would definitely say that!

UPDATE: Now Jack is in REAL trouble.

UPDATE: Yes! Front-End-Loader-Fu!

UPDATE: I'm sorry, but if a guy just killed me, I am NOT telling him what he wants to know.

UPDATE: Next week: "COVER ME NOW!!" Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[AC]

Have you ever seen anyone sleepwalk through a role more than John Voight? It's ridiculous. I hope as his role becomes more important, he steps up his game. It's almost as if he can't believe he's being paid for this role, he's got this bemused look that makes me giggle every scene he's in.

As always, if Dave's live blog is too awesome for you, I've got one over here.

[Loudmouth]

The poll really shows how stupidly alike we all are..

[Wizzy]

John Voight's role is definitely stupid thus far.

AC your username makes me think of AC Mallett and wish he hadn't quit the Madame Woman President's staff, especially now that Bill is dead.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Hey folks, I finally caught up with last week's show, and did a write up of last week's 24 on my blog.

I'll be posting the summary for tonight's show here in the comments section, as usual! See ya after the show!

[homeybeef]

House is looking for a kitty. Wonderful show, eh?

[homeybeef]

and now he's spitting on Kumar

[Wizzy]

Steve, that's great!

[AC (Not Mallett)]

@Wizzy, haha, I'm not him, but I was sorry to see him go, too.

[Siouxie]

On House - the Cat of Death episode. Didn't we blog about this??

[Wes S.]

Thank you, Steve, for the belated recap of last week's episode. It is very much appreciated.

...Just turned on the TV and thought the show had started fifteen minutes early, because there was a balding gasbag that looked remarkably like Senator That Seventies Show hectoring Dennis Miller.

Then I realized the TV was actually on the other Fox channel - Fox News - and I was watching Bill O'Reilly.

Sadly, Miller didn't shoot O'Reilly in the thigh, which would have made the segment much more entertaining...

[Jeep]

can't wait to see Kumar in star trek

[Loudmouth]

Unplugging laptop and heading for TV in basement.

[homeybeef]

Anyone think Jack will be called a dumbass tonight?

[Cassie]

Hi everyone! Finally live blogging after three long weeks.

Senator Red Foremen tries the old “nonononono!” tactic of getting someone to stop shooting when one of Juma’s men points his machine gun at the senator. Jack’s tactic of shooting the guy works much more effectively, but Senator Red doesn’t seem impressed
~~~ The Always Amazing Steve

If that isn't moley behavior, I don't know what is. I swear he was going to silence Red because he knows something.

[MartiniShark]

Wonder how many "Going-Green" PSAs we have to be subjected to this ep. Maybe Agent Freckles will say, "When the choice is paper or plastic, choose canvas." If she makes a suggestion I may listen.

[Suzy Q]

They make condoms in canvas now, Shark?

[Cassie]

DTWS... nice going Shawn. Going to switch over to Jack... can't watch Steve dance... shoot me in the thigh.

[tw]

Glad to be back here after missing 2 weeks....ready to laugh hysterically through yet another episode of '24'!

[homeybeef]

and here...we....go!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

PLOP! PLOP! FIZZ! FIZZ!
PLOP! PLOP! FIZZ! FIZZ!
...

(On behalf of the management, we apologize humbly for the incorrect introduction. The writers we used this week used to write commericals and have been sacked. Now then, onto...)

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™ needs no insurance. IT is it's OWN insurance!") and ChloeSack™ ("With that sneaky JaneaneSack™ slithering around, ChloeSack™ is starting to wish JackSack™ were around a little more often!")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This "24" intro was brought to you by AIG, which, as part of the goverment bailout package has instituted a "Jack Bauer" clause, exempting them from any liability if injury or death occurs as a result of interacting with Jack Bauer. Hey, why do you think they went broke in the first place?

[danceswithvowels]

Kumar released a toxic substance on House's couch?! The terrorist!

[Cassie]

Bill got a split screen. Dammit Bill

[Gennita Low]

Wow! Kumar peepeed on House's chair! Yeeha!

[Suzy Q]

Did I miss anything last week?

[Gennita Low]

Hi Cassie! Hi everyone!

[MartiniShark]

Mine are made of Teflon Suz, for her pleasure.

[Suzy Q]

Why are my comments not showing up? Did I get fired from the blog?

[danceswithvowels]

Great Minds Think, eh GLow?

[Cassie]

Hi Gennita. Glad to be live blogging.

[tw]

"This threat is not over"

That reminds me....is the Chinese embassy nearby????

[Gennita Low]

Hey, the following is taking place between 9-10pm! It's now!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Wait, if this episode is happening between 9pm and 10pm, can't they just turn on a TV and watch what's happening like we are?

[Siouxie]

Just keep drinking the wine, Suz. You're here.

Teflon, eh?? hmmm

[Suzy Q]

MS, one of my favorite jokes is:

They were ribbed for her pleasure, so I turned 'em inside out!

[danceswithvowels]

Not much, Q. 'Cept Bill died. :-(

[Loudmouth]

dammit laptop froze. Back across the room.

[homeybeef]

Is Jack going to blog with us while driving

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jack is soooooo retro in his vehicle choices...

[Gennita Low]

Dances, hope we're not peeing together ;-).

[Cassie]

Dude, Jack stole Michael Weston's ride.

[Wizzy]

Suzy, nobody told you?

[MartiniShark]

HA - good-un!

[Suzy Q]

NotChloe looks like she's getting wet just talking to Agent English.

[Wes S.]

Well...the upside of being framed for murder and having to once again go on the lam is that Jack now has a really cool new set of wheels.

Whoever owns that classic Roadrunner isn't going to be happy, though...

[Gennita Low]

Janice is acting all-important, isn't she?

[Suzy Q]

Wissy, was that what that pink note meant?

[Tori Lennox]

Agent Freckles looks like she'd like to shoot the guy telling her to "sign here".

[MartiniShark]

Ah hell, we have Garafalo. (Sticks a straw in the vodka bottle.)

[Wes S.]

Oh gag. Larry is freaking out because he "lost" Jack and he's turning to Garofalo for moral support?!

[danceswithvowels]

Janis has a star tattoo. Out of a Cracker Jack box, I'd guess.

[Siouxie]

OH please, Janice. She loves telling!

[Gennita Low]

Janice's channels are open.

[Suzy Q]

Hey, Sioux! Got yer boxwine?

[Loudmouth]

Uh Oh. Janice opened Channel D.

[Cassie]

Freckles, bitchslap her!!!!

[Wizzy]

Laptop while driving...that's cool.

[tw]

Nice plug for Sprint.

[Gennita Low]

One handed driving and net surfing! I love Jack.

[Siouxie]

Wow...Jack can really multitask.

[Suzy Q]

When Jack says, "Gotcha," someone dies. We hope.

[danceswithvowels]

Jack wirelessly surfs, at light speed, while driving!

[Cassie]

Quinn was the guy in General Hospital... Jerry Jax. From one hospital to another.

[Siouxie]

heh...it's in her inbox.

[Gennita Low]

Come on, Freckles, you know wanna.

[MartiniShark]

Mmmm, with Freckles this should be a 976 call.

[Ldouthit]

Jack is using iPhoto's new face recognition...how convenient that he had pictures of the guy.

[danceswithvowels]

Oh, yeah. Renee has been suspended, but her account's not locked. That's why Juma was winning.

[Gennita Low]

Dances, you and I are in sync tonight ;).

[Gennita Low]

The new plot is The Shipment. In case you're wondering.

[MartiniShark]

Is the shipment Lasagna from Sangala?

[carol]

The Quinn actor was great on GH. They did a 24 style story around his character on the show.

[tw]

How many times has Jon Voight asked "Is the shipment on time?" 3 consecutive episodes????

[E in MN]

Don't they know by now? Jack is ALWAYS innocent!

[Wizzy]

The pink note was all covered with Bill's brave blood...and my tears were many last week.

[Suzy Q]

One soul is NOT tragic, Voightman!

[Wes S.]

Sigh. Mr. Voight, you need a better class of henchman...

[nursecindy]

Jon Voight sure has big nostrils.

[Gennita Low]

oooh! ACTING! Passion! Pajamas?

[danceswithvowels]

What we're doing is just like in Watchmen! Or maybe Invader Zim! Come, Grr.

[Cassie]

Collateral Damage... I love those two words. We better get some thigh shooting.

[MartiniShark]

Toothbrushes??? will they roll out the sleeping bags and make popcorn?

[Siouxie]

Pack your PJ's and toothbrushes, people~

[Suzy Q]

Consultant = terrorist. Kill him, Jack!

[tw]

Senator Red Foreman!

[Unrealious]

Angelina Jolie's dad is such a bad man.

[danceswithvowels]

He works for "Starwood", eh? I wonder if there's a connection to Janice's finger tattoo?

[Wizzy]

Pack their pajamas and toothbrushes??????

This, of course, comes from a guy who asks "HOW?" when told Jack escaped.

What a nin-cow-poop.

[MartiniShark]

"yea fine, WHATEVER, Janice."

[Suzy Q]

That's right, look all innocent, Agent Freckles. You're on Jack's team now.

[Cassie]

I guess if you're suspended indefinitely in the FBI, you aren't escorted off premises.

Hell Section One would have cancelled your ass. There is no suspension in Section One. Only abeyance missions.

[danceswithvowels]

I don't care if Jack did anything. He's a federal fugitive, so I don't have to think.

[Siouxie]

Janice needs a better bra.

[sicarie]

I thought all Jack wanted was an ID - now he wants the CIRG whatevers?

[sicarie]

Wait a minute, don't Morris and Chloe have a kid?

[Suzy Q]

Janice, change your panties...NOW!

[MartiniShark]

"I knew when she stopped responding to my Facebook comments"

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Damn, when did Larry get smart? He's a federal agent, after all...he can't have too high an IQ!

[homeybeef]

By this time last week we had several explosions. wtf 24

[Wizzy]

BTW, Dave, yes I think he peed on Houses' chair.

[MartiniShark]

Siouxie, why would you even mention Janice's foundation garments?!?!