DOG TOY REPORT
There's a type of dog toy that's quite popular -- a long, skinny soft toy, made of stuffed terry cloth with a squeaker inside. Here's a picture of a new one:
These are great dog toys, with one caveat: you should not give them to an actual dog.
Because the dog will NOT REST until it has killed the toy and removed the squeaker (allow 18 seconds). Soon your house will be littered with filthy disgusting drool-drenched squeaky-toy corpses.