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January 26, 2009

URGENT MEDICAL UPDATE FOR GUYS

Key Medical Condition: "Brewer's droop"

(Thanks to David Elwart)

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They had better test it with non-Australians before coming to any "firm" conclusions.

Woo *hic* Hoo!!!!

*tosses the blue pills*

*awaits beer drinking spam mail*

So, you're saying that the once-a-week or so bourbon-and-Coke I have puts a little schwing! in my step...?

An added benefit is that the girls look prettier after a few drinks as well.

I thought it was "whisky d!ck".

Mot, so do the guys ;-)

Sooz, I don't go to those type of bars, where the guys look prettier I mean.

But a study of 1580 Australian men has shown the reverse may be true, with drinkers reporting as many as 30 per cent fewer problems than teetotallers.

They also report that they have bigger incomes, fancier cars, higher SAT scores, and no wife.

1580 Australian men - now there's going back a few years...

They don't appear to have corrected for the "beer-goggle" effect.

Drinking makes individuals appear more attractive. Of course that would mean that women drinking would improve men's sex lives.

I think this requires further study. Anyone want to help pay for a research grant?

hmmm, i'm thinking a more valid study would be to ask the WOMEN if their performance is better... the men who are drinking report 30% fewer problems? and this surprises them because...?

Even binge drinkers had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who never drank, although this type of drinking can cause other health problems, however, most men studied did not care what they were.

But a study of 1580 Australian men has shown the reverse may be true, with drinkers reporting as many as 30 per cent fewer problems than teetotallers.

I think they have cum to the exact backwards conclusion from these data. Beer does not solve problems. Tea causes limpdickey syndrome.

Doctor Parkinson declared, "I'm not surprised to see you here,
You've got smokers cough from smoking, brewers droop from drinking beer
I don't know how you came to get the Bette Davis knees
But worst of all young man you've got industrial disease!"

no kidding, judi...men who are drinking report 30% fewer everything!
*hands the lady bloggers scorecards*
Ok, you gals go do your research. I'll apply for the government grant. And if we do our 'research' in American cars, perhaps we can get some of that auto bailout money.

Annie, make sure there's plenty of bailout money for incidentals such as shoes, cosmos and rose colored-glasses.

On the other hand: while moderate intake of alcohol may indeed improve performance...it does nothing for judgement.

As a certain Russian fellow found out when he attempted to force his affections on a raccoon.

And paid for it.

*Dire SNORK for Writerdude!*

OK, guys...there goes THAT excuse!

More importantly, does my beer gut make me look sexy?

*rhetorical question, i KNOW it makes me look sexy*

*raises glass*

Bottoms Up!

Annie, make sure there's plenty of bailout money for incidentals such as shoes, cosmos and rose colored-glasses.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 26, 2009 at 01:14 PM

Those aren't incidentals. Those are critical supplies.

And your earlier point about women having a few drinks to improve a guy's 'chances' is apt, even if it flew right over the heads of some of the guy bloggers.

Good point Judi. This shouldn't be a self report research paradigm.
Although I would like to see how the self-reports correlate with the other data.

It's a phallicy

Has it occurred to no one but me that those Australians are all upside down? So of course it looks like things are um, perkier...

It's ok, Annie. They were too busy adjusting the booby-speakers.

The correct ratio for everyone's optimal appearance is to buy the ladies 2 drinks for every 1 the man has...Now, EVERYBODY DRINK!

"If the condition lasts for more than 4 hours you may be too incapacitated to enjoy it. Your date on the other hand may enjoy the longevity . . . and the silence."

I thought it was called "Dick Cheney".

One reason I drink is so I don't have to worry about the effects of drinking on my sex life.

I loved your article – it was some great information. I think you and your readers might be interested in another article I found on Medical and Dry Eyes.

www.whatistheeye.wordpress.com

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