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January 26, 2009

IT'S FOUND MAINLY IN DOUGHNUTS

Obesity 'Virus' Spreads Like Common Cold, Scientists Say

(Thanks to Ken Brown)

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"Excuse me mam, could you cough in the other direction?"

*waits for DayQuil "Obesity Relief" pills*

It must spread like wildfire during the Christmas holidays. Whew! We can blame the weight gain on the virus, instead of that extra piece of pie.

Apparently, that is one virus my 55 kg body does not have.

So Denny Crane was right when he fired the overweight clerk.

Key quote from a linked story:

"I get offers for sex all the time," brags Dave, 70, [...]

Oh, no, I feel a sudden case of fat coming on!

I'm calling in fat tomorrow...

does that picture show the front, or the back of that person? it is very confusing. and very fat.
can you pass the twinkies?

LOL eilbe. Nice try.

I'm skeptical. And in need of eyeball bleach!

Fox News takes a story from the SUN, who quotes an associate professor at a research lab in Louisiana. So it must be true. And the fat virus apparently attacked their reporter's brain.

Achoo! Excuse me. I'm allergic to BS.

Do'oh!

My eyes, my eyes, and I was eating dinner too when I saw that mucho, grande, chunk-chunk bottom. UGH!

Nyquil:
It's the nightime, snuffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head, fever, so-you-ate-five-Whoppers-and-two-BigGulps-with-a-Ben&Jerrys-chaser medicine.

"STAY BACK!!!!! I'M INFECTED!!!!!!!"

After MIT and Cal Tech, LSU is the next great global center of scientific inquiry. Or a football factory that outfits its team in neon-yellow pants. Can't remember which.

LSU, please have one of the infected go sneeze on Lara Flynn Boyle.

Fox News.

I don't think this is what Queen had in mind when they sang 'Fat Bottomed Girls'. I'm assuming that is a female but I really can't tell.

I'm not as worried about the virus as I am about the author's writing skills. Did this strike anyone else as being on the level of a 7th grade health class report?

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