IS OUR PARENTS LEARNING?
(Thanks to Kevin Conwell)
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Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
How sad is your life when your crime spree is at a Dollar General store????
Posted by: oldmanatee | January 06, 2009 at 02:20 PM
Wash cloths, garbage bags?
They need to take a workshop with the lobster-and-steak-thief guy.
Posted by: Cat R | January 06, 2009 at 02:21 PM
"101 Ways to Be a Great Mom"
Chapter One - don't steal.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 02:31 PM
Dear oldmanatee----I thought the same thing.
Posted by: ron | January 06, 2009 at 02:34 PM
It was an innocent mistake!
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 06, 2009 at 02:37 PM
That coulda been MY book....if I'd ever finished publishing it.
Posted by: Lynne Spears | January 06, 2009 at 02:40 PM
*snork* @ om!
Posted by: Diva | January 06, 2009 at 02:40 PM
BRILLIANT!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 02:47 PM
Thusly the seed of a new country song germinates and reaches to the Sun...
Posted by: Hammond Rye | January 06, 2009 at 02:49 PM
♪ I was drunk the night my ma got outta prison...♫
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 03:02 PM
"And I went to pick her up in the rain..."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | January 06, 2009 at 03:10 PM
♬...THEN my dog died...♪
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 03:14 PM
But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck...
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 03:16 PM
For Siouxie... (scroll way down)
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 03:18 PM
OHhh...I just thought the dogs always died in c/w songs ;-)
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 03:22 PM
"She got run over by a damned ole train!"
*All together, now*
"And you don't have to call me darlin', Darlin'..."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | January 06, 2009 at 03:27 PM
I did too, Siouxie. In that song, I always had the pickup truck running over the dog. That train sure was a surprise.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 03:32 PM
"You never even call me by my name!"
Posted by: Margaritaville | January 06, 2009 at 03:42 PM
Woo-hoo, M'ville!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 03:50 PM
I like the line:
"If I said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?"
Posted by: Erb's Point | January 06, 2009 at 03:56 PM
My favorite country song line is:
"Save a horse, ride a cowboy"
(and I, thanks to crossgirl, have the T-shirt!)
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 04:34 PM
My favorite country song is: "Jesus Loves You, But I Don't"
Tempers the blow a bit....
Not much.
Posted by: Clark Kent | January 06, 2009 at 04:42 PM
*snort* Clark! I never heard that one!! :D :D
Posted by: Diva | January 06, 2009 at 04:49 PM
At the Dollar Gen
With her shopping cart
She was caught red-handed
When she stole my heart
Posted by: SW | January 06, 2009 at 05:00 PM
...♬..."I got caught ripping off Dollar General
those, your honor, are the facts
I thought it was the ninety-nine cent store
And forgot about the sales tax!" ...♬.
(maybe to the tune of 'grandma got run over by a reindeer'?)
Posted by: insomniac | January 06, 2009 at 05:17 PM
To embellish oldmanatee's comment:
How sad is your life that your WHOLE FAMILY has an outing AND a crime spree at the Dollar General ????
Posted by: Telecomdropout | January 06, 2009 at 05:23 PM
...and you get caught?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 05:29 PM
And your boyfriend points at you and says, "Well, she gave it to me!"?
Posted by: Cat R | January 06, 2009 at 05:34 PM
And he wasn't talking about the stolen goods....
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 05:38 PM
stealing from the dollar store. a major criminal, yeah.
Posted by: queensbee | January 06, 2009 at 05:46 PM
And then the dog dies??
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 05:54 PM
No, the wife cheats first, then the dog dies.
Posted by: Dorakay | January 06, 2009 at 06:00 PM
...and then, at the line-up, they have you standing next to 3 Mormon boys in white shirts and ties, that they just yanked off of bicycles outside the station.
Posted by: CJrun | January 06, 2009 at 06:03 PM
...and then everyone breaks out into a chorus of "Alice's Restaurant."
Posted by: SW | January 06, 2009 at 06:22 PM
Well, speaking of country & western songs
Posted by: Afkat | January 06, 2009 at 06:30 PM
Well, speaking of country & western songs
Posted by: Afkat | January 06, 2009 at 06:31 PM
Well, speaking of country & western songs
Posted by: Afkat | January 06, 2009 at 06:31 PM
Thanks, Annie - perfect !
Posted by: Telecomdropout | January 06, 2009 at 06:37 PM
Afkat, I was thinking of that one, too. Not three, though.
Tele - Cat R had a funny comment in there, too, that has disappeared. Something like "and your boyfriend points to you and says 'SHE gave it to me!'"
To which I replied - '...and he wasn't referring to the stolen goods.'
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 07:12 PM
...and those comments are now back...the bot is playing a country song in my brain....
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 06, 2009 at 07:13 PM
Yikes...I only clicked "post" once....Honest!!!
Posted by: Afkat | January 06, 2009 at 07:13 PM
It appears that the newspaper person could writer "gooder" as well, havin' misspelled "cloths" as "clothes" ... merely bein' picky, as usual ...
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | January 06, 2009 at 07:15 PM
Ok...who brung the posts back??
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 07:19 PM
Riiiiiight, Afkat.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 07:26 PM
Play a country song backwards you get out of jail, you get your wife back, your dog comes back to life and the train whistles Dixie.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 06, 2009 at 07:59 PM
WOW - I think it's time I took a vic(odin) and lay down. All this bot bizness is making me crazy. Thank goodness for the monthly supply.
Posted by: Telecomdropout | January 06, 2009 at 08:06 PM
Why does the train ALWAYS have to whistle "Dixie" ?? Why can't it whistle - oh, I don't know - "California Here I Come" or "Oh Susannah" or even "The Yellow Rose of Texas" ???
Posted by: Telecomdropout | January 06, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Oh, and thanks, again, Annie. I really thought one of us was going crazy here. And all of the postings are really funny, except I look like I'm in some time warp or something because I keep posting stuff others have already said. *sigh* OK, back to my nap !
Posted by: Telecomdropout | January 06, 2009 at 08:26 PM
Have some more vino, Tel.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 08:46 PM
Would love to, Sio, but I'm all hopped up on vicodin now. *sigh*
I'll try to calm down, tho ...
Posted by: Telecomdropout | January 06, 2009 at 09:00 PM
Ah, Vicodin. Almost makes me want to have another root canal.
Posted by: Cat R | January 06, 2009 at 09:28 PM
Or steal my daughter's wisdom teeth meds....
whut?
Posted by: Siouxie | January 06, 2009 at 09:34 PM
OK, true story time. I believe I must have been waited upon by her daughter today. I was buying leftover Christmas candy, at 75% off. So when the bag of Peppermint Bark (Yummy stuff!) rang up at $7.99, the clerk stopped and looked puzzled. "You'll have to help me out", she said, "I don't know how much 75% would be off of $7.99."
"Here's yer sign!"
Posted by: PirateBoy | January 06, 2009 at 10:03 PM