24

Here is the situation inside the perimeter as far as we can determine from the schematics:

The Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) has been dismantled, probably because the authorities finally realized that it was directly responsible for 93 percent of the terrorism that has occurred in the United States over the past six years. Jack Bauer has been ordered to Washington, D.C., to receive a huge federal bailout.

No, seriously, Jack is in Washington to face charges that he has done bad things. We are going to go out on a limb here and speculate that there will be Unexpected Developments, including the return of Tony, who as you recall used to be dead, which as far as we know Edgar still is. We further speculate that these developments will lead to some kind of Crisis that will involve President Woman President, Chloe, Bill, Janeane Garofolo, and Alice as the housekeeper.

Are you ready? Andy the TropicHunt.com guy is.

UPDATE: I hope these motorists got the terrorist coverage.

UPDATE: Senator Craig!

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinking lawyer.

UPDATE: Is Senator Craig the dad from That Seventies Show?

UPDATE: Hot federal chick to the rescue! She needs Jack.

UPDATE: Hackers!

UPDATE: Jack is SUCH a charmer.

UPDATE: "If he goes off, I'll call you." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: If not for the fact that we've been seeing previews for six months showing us that Tony is alive, we would be shocked that Tony is alive.

UPDATE: It wasn't Tony's body in the grave. It was Jimmy Hoffa.

UPDATE: I HATE it when the C.I.P, module goes out of phase.

UPDATE: The White House gets its information from CNN, just like everybody else.

UPDATE: "Here's your briefing package." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: The old Lost Son Subplot.

UPDATE: I hate it when I lose sync.

UPDATE: I for one am tired of Jack sitting around in a suit and talking.

UPDATE: They're saving energy by keeping the Situation Room really dark.

UPDATE: Apparently half the lightbulbs in the executive branch have been unscrewed.

UPDATE: The terrorists have messed up air traffic. In other words: situation normal.

UPDATE: The PI looks like G. Gordon Liddy.

UPDATE: Seriously, people: TURN ON THE FREAKING LIGHTS.

UPDATE: Jack is slowly undressing.

UPDATE: Code name Hatteras? That's MY code name, dammit!

UPDATE: OK, basically, wherever Jack goes, terrorism occurs. LA finally got rid of him, now he's in DC, and bingo. The solution is: send jack to iran.

UPDATE: "He won't need to put his hands on anybody." Heheheh.

UPDATE: "I can handle Bauer." Heheheh.

UPDATE: "Jack, you're coming with me. And you're doing this my way." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: For the record: If we get to the one-hour mark, and the only violence has been a car crash, I am going to be VERY disappointed.

UPDATE: I have a bad feeling about the Africa subplot.

UPDATE: If it gets any darker in the White House, they'll have to wear miners' helmets.

UPDATE: Gabe has been hitting the minibar.

UPDATE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: Don't mess with the hot federal chick.

UPDATE: They should have requested a non-sniping room.

UPDATE: Maybe the pilot of GSA 117 had to use the head.

UPDATE: The highlights of the first hour! This shouldn't take long.

UPDATE: Jack has the alley.

UPDATE: Janeane Garofolo keeps repeating to herself, "They are paying me a lot of money."

UPDATE: I've been on worse flights.

UPDATE: The federal government should definitely stop using Vista.

UPDATE: Yep. That's the module, all right.

UPDATE: The White House spokesperson reminds me of Our Miss Brooks.

UPDATE:

UPDATE: President Woman President said "bastards."

UPDATE: Surprising, the number of Fords in this show.

UPDATE: Oh, just KISS HER, Jack.

UPDATE: By "near miss," they of course mean "near collision."

UPDATE: Uh-oh. The Africa Subplot is the actual Plot.

UPDATE: Hey! They stole this plot from Science Fair.

UPDATE: "How far would you have gone?" Heheheh.

UPDATE: Now we're talking. Jack has his gun back.

UPDATE: Why is Jack wearing an overcoat?

UPDATE: "Cover me." Heheheh.

UPDATE: How come the screens on TV-show computers NEVER display normal-looking things?

UPDATE: Verdict: VERY slow start. A plot about a module, which sounds way too much like the plot about the circuit board. We will watch the previews of tomorrow night, hoping for signs of life.

UPDATE: Not much to hope for. We now turn you over to The Amazing Steve, who will, we hope, make sense of all this.

Comments

[insomniac]

'how come you controllers don't sound like you did 10 minutes ago?'

'we all got colds.'

[Cassie]

Those are the most annoying phones!

[WayneHere]

CRAP!!! The plane is literally over my house outside Philly now! Hope nothing goes wrong for a few more minutes!

[Homey's Wonderful Ex]

why does it shock him so much that he was killed?

[Cat R]

Hi Ridley. Hi Dave.

[Phil and Sara]

It wouldn't be 24 without a mole....

[Suzy Q]

Can you hear me now?

[Bassey]

Over, Oveur.

[Dave (not that one)]

A mole in the FBI? It can't be.

[Cassie]

"No, I can't believe that."

Scully and Mulder...

[JamieIrons]

I think Schechter has the vector...

[tw]

Yup. There's a mole in the FBI!!

[Wizzy]

Jack has a darn good reason to not trust people. Hot Chick, you need to listen to Jack.

[Renee (the First)]

Ridley and Dave are in the comments with us! This blog is THE place to be. Who needs the Golden Whatevers?

[Cheesewiz]

Aren't jack and the hot fed chick sniper bait at the moment?

[Cassie]

Jack doesn't need a gun.

[Wes S.]

"Don't take my accusations of a mole in your department personally, Agent Redhead; after seven seasons at CTU, I'm used to betrayal..."

...And asking Jack to give up his gun never ends well...

[Layzeeboy]

Jack doesn't need a gun...he has a Bic!!!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

HA! Jack still has the pen! YOU FOOL!

[Gennita Low]

I thought Jack Bauer didn't care?

[Wizzy]

Sounds like Sulu on Star Trek!

[Renee (the First)]

Jamie -- and the pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle.

[Diva]

Speaking of Dave and Ridley, Cat....you should post our pic. ;)

[Nicky G]

The fBI is chinese. Watch out Jack.

[Dave (not that one)]

Peek-a-boo!

[Suzy Q]

Pensive Jack looks pensive.

[Cassie]

Seriously? Pull the fire alarm, sniper. Clears out the building.

[Homey's Wonderful Ex]

not renee!

[danceswithvowels]

Just got back from MadCity. Did you miss me I miss anything? Perimeter? Anything? Bueller?

[The Dead Henchman]

Three dead bodies? Who's the third?

[Wes S.]

Oh, by the way: Is what's-his-name's kid still sitting in her daddy's wrecked SUV, waiting for him to come home...?

[Robert Carr]

Doesn't the pilot have a cellphone?

[Cassie]

Of course not, they're good passenger with their cell phones off.

[Suzy Q]

We have to wait 13 minutes before the plane's shot down? Bummer.

[Dave (not that one)]

Wait. How did the Air Traffic Controller guy know it was Tony?

[slyeyes]

"Trying to contact passengers, can't get ahold of anyone"

Don't you just hate it when the passengers actually obey and turn off their cell phones?

[MartiniShark]

He's come far since playing for the Durham Bulls.

[Bassey]

This will be very disappointing if Jack doesn't kill at LEAST one terrorist using his feet.

[Travis]

Uhoh, someone interrupted a solitaire game at the FAA

[JamieIrons]

Renee,

;-)

[Cassie]

OMG they're all locked because they're all synched.

[Diva]

I cannot FATHOM that my roommate's son and grandson just popped up to visit - UNANNOUNCED. And me in my pj's and with strep. SHEESH.

[danceswithvowels]

Vista lockup. Should have waited for Windows 7 (AKA Snow Leopard).

[Wes S.]

"Here's your vector, Victor..."

[tw]

What's your vector, Victor?

[Robert Carr]

I never trusted Sunrise Airlines.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

If they have an Oceanic Airlines flight in here, I'm sure all these planes will appear on a Pacific Island that no one can find...

[Travis]

Jack needs to kill someone with a broken pool cue, preferrably a ninja. There haven't been enough ninjas in 24.

[Cat R]

Diva, I'm lucky I can type, hit refresh, and pretend to watch 24 at the same time. Typos included!

[Cassie]

Love that smouldering Pet Cemetery Tony voice.

[JamieIrons]

As a linear algebra buff, I'm disturbed by this abuse of vectors...

[Suzy Q]

Could it be...? A crash on the runway? Dare I hope?

[sicarie]

If they hit at a 90 degree angle, this will be the best-planned terror attack ever.

Not to mention some of the most inept pilots...

[Cheesewiz]

Tony is an old softy

[Diva]

Ooh, SCREAMING!

[Suzy Q]

Crap! Foiled again. Damn you, Mean Tony!

[Cassie]

"What do you people want?"

Well, how about a few dammits, a few more thigh shots so we can drink?

[Wizzy]

I do not think Tony is for real bad. Marwan (sp?) would have let them crash "as a demonstration" of what they can do..

[lulu]

the little boy will get the message

[homeybeef]

Watchmen advertised on fox...assholes

[MartiniShark]

"I want a refund for my $9.00 airfare!!!!"

[Wes S.]

This familiar plotline does make me wonder: If Jack Bauer fought John McClane, who would win and why?

[danceswithvowels]

Ooh, Watchmen. Shiny! Hope it doesn't blow.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I'm telling you, disgruntled air traffic controllers from the Reagan years are behind this!

[Bassey]

Usually the man behind the curtain is not THE man behind the curtain. Tony's not in charge at all, I bet Kim is the brains behind this. Ha, I used "brains" and "Kim" in the same sentence. Next theory...

[Nicky G]

Where is Jimmy Walker: Kid Dynooooooonmite
will save us

[Hammond Rye]

Where is Chloe, dammit?

[sicarie]

@homeybeef - lol

[JamieIrons]

What do you people want?

We want our own linearly independent sets of vectors to call in whenever we damn well feel like it! To the airlines of our choice.

[daisymae]

Well.

[Homey's Wonderful Ex]

why is it that commercials are always louder then the actual show?

[tw]

They always get the weirdest looking guys for those Wendy's ads.

[MartiniShark]

Homey, Fox may still end up with that film.

[Gennita Low]

Slow-mo planes, vector vexations, pen attack...where is my thigh shot? Not even a blown up building! This show is really trying to save some money.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BTW, does this seem strangely timed on the day that Jack Bauer appears before the Senate?

[Suzy Q]

Please fill out this form in triplicate, Martini. We'll get right on it!

~Customer Service

[sj]

I miss Chloe

[daisymae]

A terror plot on the news. It never ends.

[Gennita Low]

I bet they transplanted Tony's brain with Kim's.

[Cat R]

Diva, I only have the cropped photo online. The Traveling Wienermobile™:

Here it is, being passed from Cat to Diva. Ridley autographed the back of it.

[sicarie]

At least the sniper is not a man dressed in all black acting suspiciously to avoid FBI agents.

[Wizzy]

sickly green paint on all walls is definitely IN this season.

[danceswithvowels]

Well at least they took Jack's gun, so they worsened their odds.

[Dave (not that one)]

Okay, I called it first. Sniper will get out and hijack the car that Jack is sitting in.

[MartiniShark]

I think the passengers will use those triplicate forms to clean themselves after that pass-by.

[Cassie]

Methos lives!

[tw]

Whisper....Emerson is coming!

[The Dead Henchman]

Oh no, another module! Didn't we go through this last season?

[Layzeeboy]

Uh oh, they're getting the module ready

[Diva]

Meh. He's not Bad Tony. If he were, he'd have shot the guy without a thought.

[danceswithvowels]

Now Neo has shown up. How deep *is* this rabbit hole?

[Suzy Q]

Pet Cemetery Tony, meet Phlox. Phlox, stop whining. We need you to bleed more.

[jt]

Oooh...Emerson's here! And they're getting the module ready! NOW we're having some high old exitement!

[Robert Carr]

Richard Gere

[JamieIrons]

Emerson's here.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

[Travis]

ooooo, and even more sinister bad guy.

Looks Swedish

[sicarie]

I sense another "I can handle Jack Bauer" coming.

[slyeyes]

I have it on good authority (wikipedia) that Chloe shows up in an hour or two.

[Cat R]

STOP WHISPERING!!!!!!!!

[Wes S.]

It's interesting - from TropicHunt's link - that the press is now using "harsh interrogation methods' instead of "torture." Although they're still questioning whether waterboarding is actually a torture technique.

Strikes me that the answer to that question is simple: If waterboarding were actually torture, you wouldn't see cable news network talking heads asking the CIA to waterboard them for the sake of a story...