24

Here is the situation inside the perimeter as far as we can determine from the schematics:

The Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) has been dismantled, probably because the authorities finally realized that it was directly responsible for 93 percent of the terrorism that has occurred in the United States over the past six years. Jack Bauer has been ordered to Washington, D.C., to receive a huge federal bailout.

No, seriously, Jack is in Washington to face charges that he has done bad things. We are going to go out on a limb here and speculate that there will be Unexpected Developments, including the return of Tony, who as you recall used to be dead, which as far as we know Edgar still is. We further speculate that these developments will lead to some kind of Crisis that will involve President Woman President, Chloe, Bill, Janeane Garofolo, and Alice as the housekeeper.

Are you ready? Andy the TropicHunt.com guy is.

UPDATE: I hope these motorists got the terrorist coverage.

UPDATE: Senator Craig!

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinking lawyer.

UPDATE: Is Senator Craig the dad from That Seventies Show?

UPDATE: Hot federal chick to the rescue! She needs Jack.

UPDATE: Hackers!

UPDATE: Jack is SUCH a charmer.

UPDATE: "If he goes off, I'll call you." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: If not for the fact that we've been seeing previews for six months showing us that Tony is alive, we would be shocked that Tony is alive.

UPDATE: It wasn't Tony's body in the grave. It was Jimmy Hoffa.

UPDATE: I HATE it when the C.I.P, module goes out of phase.

UPDATE: The White House gets its information from CNN, just like everybody else.

UPDATE: "Here's your briefing package." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: The old Lost Son Subplot.

UPDATE: I hate it when I lose sync.

UPDATE: I for one am tired of Jack sitting around in a suit and talking.

UPDATE: They're saving energy by keeping the Situation Room really dark.

UPDATE: Apparently half the lightbulbs in the executive branch have been unscrewed.

UPDATE: The terrorists have messed up air traffic. In other words: situation normal.

UPDATE: The PI looks like G. Gordon Liddy.

UPDATE: Seriously, people: TURN ON THE FREAKING LIGHTS.

UPDATE: Jack is slowly undressing.

UPDATE: Code name Hatteras? That's MY code name, dammit!

UPDATE: OK, basically, wherever Jack goes, terrorism occurs. LA finally got rid of him, now he's in DC, and bingo. The solution is: send jack to iran.

UPDATE: "He won't need to put his hands on anybody." Heheheh.

UPDATE: "I can handle Bauer." Heheheh.

UPDATE: "Jack, you're coming with me. And you're doing this my way." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: For the record: If we get to the one-hour mark, and the only violence has been a car crash, I am going to be VERY disappointed.

UPDATE: I have a bad feeling about the Africa subplot.

UPDATE: If it gets any darker in the White House, they'll have to wear miners' helmets.

UPDATE: Gabe has been hitting the minibar.

UPDATE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: Don't mess with the hot federal chick.

UPDATE: They should have requested a non-sniping room.

UPDATE: Maybe the pilot of GSA 117 had to use the head.

UPDATE: The highlights of the first hour! This shouldn't take long.

UPDATE: Jack has the alley.

UPDATE: Janeane Garofolo keeps repeating to herself, "They are paying me a lot of money."

UPDATE: I've been on worse flights.

UPDATE: The federal government should definitely stop using Vista.

UPDATE: Yep. That's the module, all right.

UPDATE: The White House spokesperson reminds me of Our Miss Brooks.

UPDATE:

UPDATE: President Woman President said "bastards."

UPDATE: Surprising, the number of Fords in this show.

UPDATE: Oh, just KISS HER, Jack.

UPDATE: By "near miss," they of course mean "near collision."

UPDATE: Uh-oh. The Africa Subplot is the actual Plot.

UPDATE: Hey! They stole this plot from Science Fair.

UPDATE: "How far would you have gone?" Heheheh.

UPDATE: Now we're talking. Jack has his gun back.

UPDATE: Why is Jack wearing an overcoat?

UPDATE: "Cover me." Heheheh.

UPDATE: How come the screens on TV-show computers NEVER display normal-looking things?

UPDATE: Verdict: VERY slow start. A plot about a module, which sounds way too much like the plot about the circuit board. We will watch the previews of tomorrow night, hoping for signs of life.

UPDATE: Not much to hope for. We now turn you over to The Amazing Steve, who will, we hope, make sense of all this.

Comments

[Suzy Q]

DO IT, Jack!

[slyeyes]

oooh, torture with a bic.

GUNFIRE!!

[Siouxie]

Damnit...there was gonna BE torture....

Ok...shooting's good.

[Homey's Wonderful Ex]

good looks? says who?

[Gennita Low]

A pencil? I waited an hour for a pencil attack?

[Diva]

MORE VIOLENCE!!!!! BLOOOOOOD!!!!!! DEATH AND MAYHEM!!!!

[Nicky G]

finally a death

[Diva]

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Dead Henchman]

Nowwww it's 24!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Damn, pen to the eye...Jack is really being tied by the red tape...

[MartiniShark]

"I miss you TONY!!!!"

[Wes S.]

Finally. Some violence.

...And you'd think they'd learn to question people away from windows that give snipers clear lanes of fire after seven seasons...

[Wizzy]

WHy didn't jack say dammit?

[Gennita Low]

The bromance is truly over, sob.

[Nicky G]

It is not really Tony. It is Jack's father. He had plastic surgery.

[EdgarLives]

It was a pen, low genitals

[Cassie]

Waiting for the magic pencil trick.

Gunfire. Even better.

[Raoul]

and I thought Scully was hot!

[JamieIrons]

I hope Chris Williams knows what he's doing...

[Loudmouth]

At least someone is dead. Too bad Jack didn't do it.

[Nicky G]

Show Chloe nekid.

[Suzy Q]

Ruh, roh. The plane's gone rogue.

[Layzeeboy]

GSA117 now arriving gate 23...24...25...26

[Nicky G]

Chloe for president.

[Homey's Wonderful Ex]

Raoul ... Scully is still hot ... she only got hotter as the show got worse

[Diva]

Phew!! *relaxes, spent. lights up a cigarette*

Wow, Tony, was it good for you?! (That climactic music was.....climactic....) ;)

[Wes S.]

Again, it's the "Let's pretend we're Ground Traffic Control" manuever from "Die Hard 2."

Here we go again...

[Nicky G]

Tony is Osama bin Laden? bs

[MartiniShark]

Knew there was a problem when the in-flight movie was "Air Force One".

[Cat R]

*changes load of laundry during commercial*

[slyeyes]

Fox keeps pixilating and cutting out in our area. ---

HEY -- I saw this bit in one of those Bruce Willis movies

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I think we need to see John McClane and Jack Bauer team up...

[homeybeef]

I don't wonder where my money goes. I spend it on crap

[Ridley]

Reporting from China: also zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
We use SlingBox to connect to US television from time to time, and tonight our renters are watching...
24
of course.
So I'm not bothering to tune in. I like plot, and 24 usually has either none, or far too much. Let's hope Dave can sort it out. They should have asked him to write the script(s) this year.
Ridley

[Diva]

9:00:00

[Suzy Q]

Mean Tony needs a gumball.

[Gennita Low]

Well, then I'm glad it was a pen, G Snicks.

[slyeyes]

That's it, Die Hard 2.

[Diva]

Hi, Ridley!!!!! Glad you stopped by!!!

[Cassie]

SPOCK: There are two possibilities, sir. They are unwilling to respond. They are unable to respond.

[Ridley]

Hey SlyEyes: be grateful it's pixilating. That may be an improvement!
Ridley

[daisymae]

Anybody taking bets on where the plane is going??

[Raoul]

HWEx - I don't know . . . as an FBI agent - Scully vs. Renee? No contest = Renee all the way. As a coroner? Scully is definitely hotter . . .

[Suzy Q]

Hey, Ridley! Beware of shark fin soup!

[Nicky G]

Hey guys whatever happened to the president who was stabbed in the neck by his wife. Does he have a show on FOX?

[slyeyes]

Hey, Ridley!!!

[Travis]

Why do I sense an evil twin thing going on with Tony?

[Ridley]

Diva:
Who can miss Dave's 24 blog? It's the best thing that happens all year, even, when, like me, you aren't even WATCHING THE SHOW!
R

[The Dead Henchman]

So lessee...we've got a plot lifted from Die Hard 2, and a witness who gets shot just as he's about to reveal a crucial secret--a gimmick lifted from old Charlie Chan movies.

Not a promising start...

[JamieIrons]

That Rogaine commercial was more exciting than most of this episode...

[Siouxie]

Hey Ridley!!!!(btw, reading Killer View at the moment!)

[Wes S.]

If Jack straps himself into an ejection seat and launches himself, McClane style...I'm done with this damn show.

[Cassie]

"Ever been to a Turkish prison?"

[Phil and Sara]

Man, 1 hour in and no thighs have been shot yet. Dammit!

[Ridley]

Suzy: for one thing that soup is expensive! For another: sharks are involved.
R

[homeybeef]

where is the plane going? This is 24, it's going to explode over LA. Good thing we're in washington this season and can avoid all that boring action in favor of white house filled talking

[Layzeeboy]

I'm afraid Steve has his work cut out for him tonight

[Cassie]

Hey, we're still sober here!

[Diva]

Not me, Ridley!

[Suzy Q]

Well, "American Idol" is starting soon. That should be a bloodbath.

[daisymae]

Here we go...again!

[homeybeef]

any of you viewers have any discretion?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Wait, TV-V? No dialog warning?!

No DAMMITS?!?

Just VIOLENCE?

Well, okay...

[Phil and Sara]

"Previously..." for you people who can't remember stuff from one hour ago.

[Loudmouth]

Want to improve the plot. Let Jack torture the weenies in the White House. Who gives a crap about Juma.

[Wizzy]

why do we need a recap

[Wes S.]

Why viewer discretion? There's been episodes of "Hannah Montana" with more sex and violence than the first hour of "24" tonight...!

[Ridley]

Siouxie: I hope it's better than 24, or I'm in trouble....
R
(and thanks!)

[Tori Lennox]

The formerly stabbed prez is the Chief Cook & Bottle Washer on The Mentalist.

[Cassie]

Samantha = this years's Mandy?

[MartiniShark]

I too protest the serving of such a dish.

[Layzeeboy]

"Previously on 24

In case you fell asleep 20 minutes ago.

[Nicky G]

Is President Logan dead?

[Goggles]

That may be the best first hour of 24 ever!!!

[Suzy Q]

Viagra in a bowl. Who needs it, eh, Ridley?

[Dave]

Ridley! Hey!

[Bassey]

Bic's stock has just risen. Thanks, Jack!

[MartiniShark]

". . . and you have a layover in Branson, Missouri . . "

[Wizzy]

I miss President Logan.

[Robert Carr]

Didn't Tony Almeida play for the Baltimore Colts many years ago.

[Ridley]

Dave:
Wouldn't MISS IT! (the blog that is)
R

[tw]

I bet Tony is holed up in a small church just north of the new runway at Dulles! They should call the father from "Good Times" and send in a commando team under his command!

[Gennita Low]

I thought the plane has its own private cell phone? I saw that on Bones. ;-P

[Cassie]

They're calling cells for the passengers?

[Cheesewiz]

Isn't GSA General Services Administration? They fly desks, not planes.

[Siouxie]

Great so far, Ridley! Your day job is quite safe.

[Layzeeboy]

Try calling cell numbers on a plane? Ummm, aren't they turned off??

[slyeyes]

Ridley, KV is DEFINITELY better than 24. I hope there's more.

[Loudmouth]

Tim the Tool Man's brother running air traffic control.

[Diva]

Man. I got a shoutout from Ridley. It's a shame I used up my cigarette on the last comment....

[Bassey]

You know Tony's bad, cuz he has a full goatee, and not just the soul patch. Michelle never would have let him wear that shiz.

[Suzy Q]

What, the plane hasn't crashed yet? Yawn.

[MartiniShark]

How can they talk on the phone with that damned orchestra blaring in the background?

[Goggles]

This is great, fun drama. Great start to 24!!

[slyeyes]

We're in trouble if John Amos shows up.

[JamieIrons]

What's the vector, Victor?

[Nicky G]

Goodbye 117

[Wes S.]

A shoutout from Ridley! Congrats, Diva!

[Cassie]

"They've never seen anything like this before."

Die Hard 2. Dammit.

[Cheesewiz]

Vectors!

They're like perimeters only pointier.