24
Here is the situation inside the perimeter as far as we can determine from the schematics:
The Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) has been dismantled, probably because the authorities finally realized that it was directly responsible for 93 percent of the terrorism that has occurred in the United States over the past six years. Jack Bauer has been ordered to Washington, D.C., to receive a huge federal bailout.
No, seriously, Jack is in Washington to face charges that he has done bad things. We are going to go out on a limb here and speculate that there will be Unexpected Developments, including the return of Tony, who as you recall used to be dead, which as far as we know Edgar still is. We further speculate that these developments will lead to some kind of Crisis that will involve President Woman President, Chloe, Bill, Janeane Garofolo, and Alice as the housekeeper.
Are you ready? Andy the TropicHunt.com guy is.
UPDATE: I hope these motorists got the terrorist coverage.
UPDATE: Senator Craig!
UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinking lawyer.
UPDATE: Is Senator Craig the dad from That Seventies Show?
UPDATE: Hot federal chick to the rescue! She needs Jack.
UPDATE: Hackers!
UPDATE: Jack is SUCH a charmer.
UPDATE: "If he goes off, I'll call you." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: If not for the fact that we've been seeing previews for six months showing us that Tony is alive, we would be shocked that Tony is alive.
UPDATE: It wasn't Tony's body in the grave. It was Jimmy Hoffa.
UPDATE: I HATE it when the C.I.P, module goes out of phase.
UPDATE: The White House gets its information from CNN, just like everybody else.
UPDATE: "Here's your briefing package." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: The old Lost Son Subplot.
UPDATE: I hate it when I lose sync.
UPDATE: I for one am tired of Jack sitting around in a suit and talking.
UPDATE: They're saving energy by keeping the Situation Room really dark.
UPDATE: Apparently half the lightbulbs in the executive branch have been unscrewed.
UPDATE: The terrorists have messed up air traffic. In other words: situation normal.
UPDATE: The PI looks like G. Gordon Liddy.
UPDATE: Seriously, people: TURN ON THE FREAKING LIGHTS.
UPDATE: Jack is slowly undressing.
UPDATE: Code name Hatteras? That's MY code name, dammit!
UPDATE: OK, basically, wherever Jack goes, terrorism occurs. LA finally got rid of him, now he's in DC, and bingo. The solution is: send jack to iran.
UPDATE: "He won't need to put his hands on anybody." Heheheh.
UPDATE: "I can handle Bauer." Heheheh.
UPDATE: "Jack, you're coming with me. And you're doing this my way." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: For the record: If we get to the one-hour mark, and the only violence has been a car crash, I am going to be VERY disappointed.
UPDATE: I have a bad feeling about the Africa subplot.
UPDATE: If it gets any darker in the White House, they'll have to wear miners' helmets.
UPDATE: Gabe has been hitting the minibar.
UPDATE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
UPDATE: Don't mess with the hot federal chick.
UPDATE: They should have requested a non-sniping room.
UPDATE: Maybe the pilot of GSA 117 had to use the head.
UPDATE: The highlights of the first hour! This shouldn't take long.
UPDATE: Jack has the alley.
UPDATE: Janeane Garofolo keeps repeating to herself, "They are paying me a lot of money."
UPDATE: I've been on worse flights.
UPDATE: The federal government should definitely stop using Vista.
UPDATE: Yep. That's the module, all right.
UPDATE: The White House spokesperson reminds me of Our Miss Brooks.
UPDATE:
UPDATE: President Woman President said "bastards."
UPDATE: Surprising, the number of Fords in this show.
UPDATE: Oh, just KISS HER, Jack.
UPDATE: By "near miss," they of course mean "near collision."
UPDATE: Uh-oh. The Africa Subplot is the actual Plot.
UPDATE: Hey! They stole this plot from Science Fair.
UPDATE: "How far would you have gone?" Heheheh.
UPDATE: Now we're talking. Jack has his gun back.
UPDATE: Why is Jack wearing an overcoat?
UPDATE: "Cover me." Heheheh.
UPDATE: How come the screens on TV-show computers NEVER display normal-looking things?
UPDATE: Verdict: VERY slow start. A plot about a module, which sounds way too much like the plot about the circuit board. We will watch the previews of tomorrow night, hoping for signs of life.
UPDATE: Not much to hope for. We now turn you over to The Amazing Steve, who will, we hope, make sense of all this.
Download your 'Fins iPhone application
Another commercial?
Posted by: The Dead Henchman | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Well, 45 minutes in and I'm considering flipping to the Golden Globes. Might be a little more exciting...
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
the FBI honors the law? Since when? Why did nobody tell me?
Posted by: sj | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Snap, Cat R!
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Different music could make this a situation comedy
Posted by: homeybeef | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Jack's expression says "you know, I really didn't want to come here. I'd like to go back to the senate hearings if you don't mind..."
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Yeah, Renee (TF), but you're WAAAAY cooler. :)
What up with all the handwringing, Jack? You take lessons from the Sec of State?
"You're doing this my way." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Right. She's clearly never met Jack Bauer before.
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
ooo...the red heads responsible! Jack's doing it her way! We'll see about that.
Posted by: daisymae | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
"Jack, you're coming with me and you're doing this my way."
I think Jack will stand up next and go "SCHWING!"
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Jack is going to kick Rick Carlilse's ass
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Janeane Garofalo appears to be suffering from GERD...
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
hi, bloggers! I have no clue who anybody is in 24 and I don;t care. I'm glad to be here as long as my laptop battery lasts.
Woo hoo!
Posted by: Cat R | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Famous last words: "I can handle Jack Bauer."
Posted by: largebill | January 11, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Her hands aren't BIG enough to handle Jack!
Posted by: Shelly Volante | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
Beautiful psychic simul, Wes and Gen. I'm honored to have been there. :D
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
Diva, glad to see you here!! :)
A little nonsensical diversion is always good, eh?
Posted by: Cat R | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
I feel like we're watching the "New Improved Eco-Friendly 24". Where's the grisly torture? The irresponsible shooting? The random bombings? The knifings we've come to love?
Sigh.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
If you need me, I'll be watching the Golden Globe Awards. Or napping. How do they show this many commercials in a one-hour show?
Posted by: PirateBoy | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
I miss Edgar
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
Aw, Diva, you're too kind!
Posted by: Renee (the First) | January 11, 2009 at 08:45 PM
It was only a matter of time before she caved into the lust for Jack Bauer...
Posted by: lawdawg | January 11, 2009 at 08:46 PM
We've had more violence in the thirty-second trailer for "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" than we have in almost a full hour of "24."
That, sadly, says it all...
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:46 PM
Keifer Sutherland playing Jack Bauer playing Clint Eastwood playing Dirty Harry Callahan. Needs a little more squint.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 11, 2009 at 08:46 PM
Is Mary the Blog Kids Mom here?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 11, 2009 at 08:46 PM
If they show Jack driving a Prius at any time, this show will be dead to me.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:46 PM
But can she handle Bauer's Thighs of Death?
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:46 PM
I miss Chloe! I thought she was coming back. In fact, I miss CTU.
Posted by: daisymae | January 11, 2009 at 08:47 PM
Apparantly the new homeland policy is to call terrorists into a subcommitte and bore them into apathy and they will then attack those New Zealand devils.
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:47 PM
I miss Nicky G
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:48 PM
Dave:
Apparently, "torture" is now bad.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:48 PM
But Dave -- you don't know about all of the violence that we're NOT seeing...Juma's good for some body count, so is Almeida, and there's at least one rogue government agent killing people. We just don't know about them yet.
Posted by: sj | January 11, 2009 at 08:48 PM
Amen, Cat - and it's even funnier when you're watching/listening to 24, live-blogging it here AND have a headset on listening to your friends making fun of you for live-blogging online. :P
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:48 PM
ctu never knows
Posted by: Homey's Wonderful Ex | January 11, 2009 at 08:48 PM
"So you and Tony were tight?"
TMI?
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Jack is TIGHT!
Posted by: Shelly Volante | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
So how tight were Tony and you? Heehee.
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
If this drags on much longer, I'm going to shoot my OWN thighs. Jeez...
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Martini, they'll probably play Manilow at those meetings, just for good measure.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
I recall season 1 when Jack and Tony were not very close.
Posted by: homeybeef | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Look at the traffic! What is this, Sunday morning at 5 am?
Posted by: Dave (not that one) | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Is that the redhead who sell Cadillacs? "Does it return the favor?"
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
No way Tony is dirty. He will be secretary of state before this day is over in May.
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Ford, the official car of Jack Bauer
Posted by: Robert Carr | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Why won't they establish a perimeter???
Posted by: tw | January 11, 2009 at 08:49 PM
Tony was Jack's pet. It's all clear to me now.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:50 PM
Hey what happened to Charlie
Posted by: Robert Carr | January 11, 2009 at 08:50 PM
What happened to GAMMA dammit!
Posted by: Raoul | January 11, 2009 at 08:50 PM
Alpha, Beta and Delta...There is no Gamma.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | January 11, 2009 at 08:50 PM
"...Alpha, Beta, and Delta."
What happened to Camp Gamma?
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:50 PM
Alpha, beta and delta?
Shouldn't that be Alpha, BRAVO and Delta?
Posted by: Tori Lennox | January 11, 2009 at 08:50 PM
No Suzy, Geneva Convention banned all Barry torture.
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
ROFLMAO, Cassie!!!!
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
The r edhead who sells Cadillacs is Madison from Gray's Anatomy and The Practice, whose name escapes me.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
Hennnnnreeeeeee! Henry Aldrich!
Coming, Mother!
Posted by: The Dead Henchman | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
camps alpha, beta, and delta?
what happenend to camp gamma? (jack bauer, that's what!)
Posted by: insomniac | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
This is a farce. Men would never vote for a woman president who is this ugly.
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
Plugged it in during the commercial -- no battery problems now -- yeah!
Posted by: Cat R | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
Yet another delay to next season (24 hours). Is Henry Aldrich working to force the producers to sign him for another year?
Posted by: Robert Carr | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
heh..."I will pull you back"
Posted by: Siouxie | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
"This is an FBI operation. We work within the confines of the law."
Has anyone alerted Quantico?
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
RE: Gamma
Ripley said to "nuke them from orbit. Only way to be sure."
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:51 PM
how does she expect to "pull him back?" he kills people with his thighs.
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
sly - kate walsh
Posted by: Homey's Wonderful Ex | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
Grow a pair, President Lady! Shoot that plane outta the sky! Do something, fer chrissakes. Please just stop talking.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
LOL, how many times has the show mentioned "within the confines of the law"?
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
Great minds think alike!
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
Clearly this guy's seen the show before.
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
Wow, Val Kilmer has let himself go . . .
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
jack's reputation is not very good.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:52 PM
I waited two years for this shit?
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:53 PM
Why does the German dude sound Scottish?
Posted by: Tori Lennox | January 11, 2009 at 08:53 PM
Yeah, right, the FBI works "within the confines of the law."
Like Lon Hoiruchi did at Ruby Ridge...?
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:53 PM
Kate Walsh! Thanks, Homey's Ex.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 11, 2009 at 08:53 PM
You got questions...we've got answers...
Posted by: Siouxie | January 11, 2009 at 08:53 PM
Schecter is Irish. Damn Jewish Micks.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 11, 2009 at 08:53 PM
what's with the Joker scars?
Posted by: Cat R | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
Ooooh. The old 'co-conspirator' threat!
Posted by: tw | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
Is it just me, or does Scheckter look kind of like Amy Winehouse's boyfriend?
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
he sounds 'foreign' , good enough for Fox...
Posted by: insomniac | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
An hour has gone by and nobody is dead?
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
How does a guy named Shechter (sp?) get that accent?
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
No Problem ... I watch way too much Tv lol
Posted by: Homey's Wonderful Ex | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
yay jack yelled!
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
"Hope they fry your ass."
Famous last words
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
I knew that Sly, but she had that low-talk redhead smoulder going on. Good stuff.
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
GUNS!!
Posted by: slyeyes | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Layzeeboy | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
Finally! Red's the one with the balls!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
YES!!!! WE HAVE VIOLENCE!!!!!
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
Hi looks like Paul McCartney after a fight and sounds like Bono
Posted by: Robert Carr | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
Ohhhhh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH Reneeeeeeee!
Posted by: Raoul | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
kill him Jack
Posted by: Nicky G | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Posted by: Dave (not that one) | January 11, 2009 at 08:54 PM
This did not take very long did it?
Posted by: homeybeef | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM
HOLY CRAP HE WAS GOING TO USE A BIC
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM
Jack you are bring set up
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM
oooh pen in the ear?
Posted by: Cat R | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM
Jacks going off. OOOOOOOOO I love her.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM
Torture!!!!
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM
"I'm going to enjoy this!"
Hell yeah!
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:55 PM