24
Here is the situation inside the perimeter as far as we can determine from the schematics:
The Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) has been dismantled, probably because the authorities finally realized that it was directly responsible for 93 percent of the terrorism that has occurred in the United States over the past six years. Jack Bauer has been ordered to Washington, D.C., to receive a huge federal bailout.
No, seriously, Jack is in Washington to face charges that he has done bad things. We are going to go out on a limb here and speculate that there will be Unexpected Developments, including the return of Tony, who as you recall used to be dead, which as far as we know Edgar still is. We further speculate that these developments will lead to some kind of Crisis that will involve President Woman President, Chloe, Bill, Janeane Garofolo, and Alice as the housekeeper.
Are you ready? Andy the TropicHunt.com guy is.
UPDATE: I hope these motorists got the terrorist coverage.
UPDATE: Senator Craig!
UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinking lawyer.
UPDATE: Is Senator Craig the dad from That Seventies Show?
UPDATE: Hot federal chick to the rescue! She needs Jack.
UPDATE: Hackers!
UPDATE: Jack is SUCH a charmer.
UPDATE: "If he goes off, I'll call you." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: If not for the fact that we've been seeing previews for six months showing us that Tony is alive, we would be shocked that Tony is alive.
UPDATE: It wasn't Tony's body in the grave. It was Jimmy Hoffa.
UPDATE: I HATE it when the C.I.P, module goes out of phase.
UPDATE: The White House gets its information from CNN, just like everybody else.
UPDATE: "Here's your briefing package." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: The old Lost Son Subplot.
UPDATE: I hate it when I lose sync.
UPDATE: I for one am tired of Jack sitting around in a suit and talking.
UPDATE: They're saving energy by keeping the Situation Room really dark.
UPDATE: Apparently half the lightbulbs in the executive branch have been unscrewed.
UPDATE: The terrorists have messed up air traffic. In other words: situation normal.
UPDATE: The PI looks like G. Gordon Liddy.
UPDATE: Seriously, people: TURN ON THE FREAKING LIGHTS.
UPDATE: Jack is slowly undressing.
UPDATE: Code name Hatteras? That's MY code name, dammit!
UPDATE: OK, basically, wherever Jack goes, terrorism occurs. LA finally got rid of him, now he's in DC, and bingo. The solution is: send jack to iran.
UPDATE: "He won't need to put his hands on anybody." Heheheh.
UPDATE: "I can handle Bauer." Heheheh.
UPDATE: "Jack, you're coming with me. And you're doing this my way." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: For the record: If we get to the one-hour mark, and the only violence has been a car crash, I am going to be VERY disappointed.
UPDATE: I have a bad feeling about the Africa subplot.
UPDATE: If it gets any darker in the White House, they'll have to wear miners' helmets.
UPDATE: Gabe has been hitting the minibar.
UPDATE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
UPDATE: Don't mess with the hot federal chick.
UPDATE: They should have requested a non-sniping room.
UPDATE: Maybe the pilot of GSA 117 had to use the head.
UPDATE: The highlights of the first hour! This shouldn't take long.
UPDATE: Jack has the alley.
UPDATE: Janeane Garofolo keeps repeating to herself, "They are paying me a lot of money."
UPDATE: I've been on worse flights.
UPDATE: The federal government should definitely stop using Vista.
UPDATE: Yep. That's the module, all right.
UPDATE: The White House spokesperson reminds me of Our Miss Brooks.
UPDATE:
UPDATE: President Woman President said "bastards."
UPDATE: Surprising, the number of Fords in this show.
UPDATE: Oh, just KISS HER, Jack.
UPDATE: By "near miss," they of course mean "near collision."
UPDATE: Uh-oh. The Africa Subplot is the actual Plot.
UPDATE: Hey! They stole this plot from Science Fair.
UPDATE: "How far would you have gone?" Heheheh.
UPDATE: Now we're talking. Jack has his gun back.
UPDATE: Why is Jack wearing an overcoat?
UPDATE: "Cover me." Heheheh.
UPDATE: How come the screens on TV-show computers NEVER display normal-looking things?
UPDATE: Verdict: VERY slow start. A plot about a module, which sounds way too much like the plot about the circuit board. We will watch the previews of tomorrow night, hoping for signs of life.
UPDATE: Not much to hope for. We now turn you over to The Amazing Steve, who will, we hope, make sense of all this.
Download your 'Fins iPhone application
Jack...is...stunned.
Damn. Audrey sure did a NUMBER on our toughboy.
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
tw: Right after they clear up what happened in Whatthefeckistan.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
"Sorry I don't believe it."
Please don't let Jack be Mulder looking for his abducted sister. We know how badly that went.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
Maybe Tony has an evil twin?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
Hey, I have the same headsets for my PC that they're wearing! This can't be a high-end operation!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
Look out!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: daisymae | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
Love you, Tony! It's Jack vs Tony! End of the bromance.
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
it would be easier to contact him through the terrorist FaceBook.
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:15 PM
So that's how you know somebody in the "24" universe has turned bad - they grow a scruffy moustache and three or four days of beard stubble...?
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM
We have the technology to re-animate...TONY!!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM
Jack's first order of business wil be to off Janeane Garofalo, then get Tony and his gang!
Posted by: lawdawg | January 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM
On Terrorist Facebook, do you "enemy" people?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM
SuzyQ - LOL! :o)
Posted by: tw | January 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM
Hm. This evening the part of
The Man from AtlantisBobby Ewing will be played by the WAY sexy Carlos Bernard.Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:16 PM
Hi everyone!
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
"It keeps going out of phase."
Bloody hell, are we going against the Temporal Prime Directive?
First Phlox. Who's next
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
Aw, Tony came back all mean. Just like the animals who return from Pet Cemetary.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
snork @ slyeyes
Posted by: daisymae | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
I hope they bring back Edgar as a bad guy!
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
ooh, belated simul, sly. And LOL at "enemying" people.
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
Golly...ain't nobody got kilt yet! Not even a henchman!
Posted by: The Dead Henchman | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
Among other things, Government Services Administration (GSA) normally manages buildings - apparently they started an Airline, too. I sure hope they have better pilots than they do bureaucrats.
Posted by: b shaw | January 11, 2009 at 08:17 PM
and SuzyQ
Posted by: daisymae | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
Tony can't be ewul; he doesn't speak in a universal foreign accent.
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
Aw, Tony came back all mean. Just like the animals who return from Pet Cemetary.
~~~Suzy Q
OMG!!! That's hilarious.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
Out of phase? Doesn't that mean it's there but not there?
Posted by: Tori Lennox | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
They need to get Tony's dead wife to come back and smack her hubby around. And then they can all team up and stop Jack's dead father and brother from destroing America, and then stop dead Marwan from destroying the world.
Posted by: jt | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
I was hoping for a clips show
Posted by: Opus | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
"The EMT's rushed him away, you never saw what happened to him, as you were abducted by the Chinese a few hours later."
WHAAATTEEVVEER! They showed the medics SLOWLY zipping up Tony's body bag, and then showed Jack WATCHING them zip him up in the body bag.
Posted by: MJ | January 11, 2009 at 08:18 PM
SNORK at slyeyes and Terrorist Facebook!
Posted by: Renee (the First) | January 11, 2009 at 08:19 PM
It's out of phase because they stole it off the "Lost" island.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:19 PM
*snork* at slyeyes. Maybe "frenemy"?
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:19 PM
why don't we just cut to the chase and have jack shoot the senator?
Posted by: sj | January 11, 2009 at 08:20 PM
shoot malaria in the thighs!
Posted by: insomniac | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
I think Jack should capture Tony using a $10 mosquito net.
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
Hey! Look! There's Obama riding past the White House on his little bike!
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
Awww....Jack doesn't want anybody to die from malaria...he prefers lead poisoning.
Posted by: The Dead Henchman | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
QUOTE: Aw, Tony came back all mean. Just like the animals who return from Pet Cemetary.
~~~Suzy Q
SUZY THIS WAS BRILLIANT. Best quote EVER!
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
Yes, MJ....
And, since no one's said it yet...
IIIIIII MIIIIIIIIISS MARWAAAAAAAN!!!!
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
You can't believe anything that liberal cable network CNB broadcasts!
Posted by: tw | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
Oh, President Layyydeeeee! You got some problems to solve!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:21 PM
"The UN's paralyzed" because Jack shot it in the knees.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:22 PM
*SNORK* @ Wes! :D
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:22 PM
they put in president hillary -- they guessed wrong. They should have put her at secretary of state
Posted by: sj | January 11, 2009 at 08:22 PM
Are they STILL dealing with what happened 2 months ago in Africa? They need to do things on Jack Bauer time!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 11, 2009 at 08:22 PM
"We an always revisit the UN option."
Hope springs eternal!
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:22 PM
Suzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! *waves to my neighborgirl*
heh..he said package
Posted by: Siouxie | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Madam Pres looks alot like Laura Bush.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Suzy Q, you're in rare form tonight.
EWWWWW - do you think the First Ramparts ever grabbed her hubby's hand for reassurance in the Ovary Office?!
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Please let Jack shoot Jeannine in thigh, please, oh please...
Posted by: Bnatral | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
TU, Wizzy. I'll be here all night. Try the veal!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
I do not like Madam President. She's as interesting as Wayne Palmer in a coma.
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Madam President looks like madam soon to be Sec of State.
Posted by: Robert Carr | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Young Daffy Duck: Elevator goes down.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Why do I get the sense everything in this country will be described as "out of phase" as the hip new euphamism for "irrepareably F-ed up" for the next few years.
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
whisper...whisper...whisper
Posted by: Layzeeboy | January 11, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Wow, the president's pretty cold hearted. Or her husband's a wuss.
Posted by: Phil and Sara | January 11, 2009 at 08:24 PM
*waves at Siouxie*
Oh, c'mon! It's been over 23 minutes with no bloodshed. WTF?
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:24 PM
If Tony can come back maybe their son can too.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:24 PM
Maybe Janeane Garofalo is our - the audience's - collective punishment. "You people want torture? OK, we'll give you what you want: We'll make you watch and listen to her."
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:24 PM
Grief for her son? Hell, we really did miss a lot.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
Doesn't the blood short out the circuits?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
"Putting American lives at risk is the hardest decision I've ever had to make."
Suck it up, Sister. You's President now. This part's just a walk in the park.
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
It was never out of phase, it was just too hot.
Posted by: Robert Carr | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
I liked the old Tony better...
Posted by: JamieIrons | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
Cool, they can watch their "Matrix" DVD again.
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
(Fun to watch the Blog.I can almost tell what's happening. I don't get Fox for some blasted reason on my DirecTV package, so I'm counting on YOUSe FOLKS to deliver the news)
EB
Posted by: EB | January 11, 2009 at 08:25 PM
"Did anyone else lose synch?"
Damn they're synching their iPods instead of their jobs.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
Waitaminute...something's in...the system?!?
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
Tony wants to get into air traffic controller operations?!? Didn't he learn anything from the Reagan years?!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
"What are you talking about - it's protected!"
Well, color me stupid. Hain't you never heered o' HACKERS?
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
... yeah, whatever happened to Logan?
Posted by: Phil and Sara | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
What happened to her son? I don't remember him dying?
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
Ah. So that's what happened to President Handbag. So is he coming back later this season? Kim supposedly is...
Posted by: Wes S. | January 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
Jack has weird looking ears...
Posted by: Siouxie | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
Weak motivation for Tony to break bad.
Oh Jack you are such a tool.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
Jack doesn't go that far on the first date
Posted by: Layzeeboy | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
"And both of you can go 24 hours without using the bathroom."
Posted by: Phil and Sara | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
Home grown terrorist. Organic.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
You want synching?! CALL CHLOE, fer crap's sake! She can synch anything on Planet Earth without even touching it.
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
I wonder if that technology that clears up those blurry terrorist images would work on my holiday pictures
Posted by: b shaw | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
"There's a logical explanation for this."
They don't want us drinking yet! Dammit.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
Pet Cemetary Tony looks like he ate a bad taco.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
I miss the old CTU Phone Ring...beep beep BLIP beep
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:27 PM
Redheaded FBI agents . . . just DAMN!
Posted by: Raoul | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
I miss Pres. AllState.. c'mon youse guys, POST!
EB
Posted by: EB | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
Mandy?
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
OH NOES!! The plane is SHAKING!
Posted by: Diva | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
lThey figured it out....oh...I've got a bad feeling about this.
Posted by: daisymae | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
Is Jack going to spend the first hour looing at the picture of Tony
Posted by: homeybeef | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
...THAT WASN'T WEATHER
Posted by: EdgarLives | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
Wasn't that desk jockey the director of "Medajin" on ENTOURAGE?
Posted by: MartiniShark | January 11, 2009 at 08:28 PM
Diva, Maarrrwaannn is missed indeed. Although, I am a Behrooz kind of girl...
Wes - Kim or ManKim?
Posted by: MJ | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
"What that doesn't make sense?"
That's not Chloe, where's Chloe.
Posted by: Cassie | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
Meanwhile on Oceanic Flight 815...
Posted by: Tori Lennox | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
It doesn't make sense.
It was supposed to?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
At least Jack can fully trust the FBI. I'm sure there's no way that anybody in the FBI could secretly be working for the enemy. Nope. That could never happen.
Posted by: tw | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
ha ha ha famous last words "We can expect an open path..."
Posted by: Wizzy | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
Snotty FBI puke, where's Chloe?
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM
You know, I want to be a movie extra as an airplane passenger.
Posted by: Gennita Low | January 11, 2009 at 08:29 PM