24

Here is the situation inside the perimeter as far as we can determine from the schematics:

The Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) has been dismantled, probably because the authorities finally realized that it was directly responsible for 93 percent of the terrorism that has occurred in the United States over the past six years. Jack Bauer has been ordered to Washington, D.C., to receive a huge federal bailout.

No, seriously, Jack is in Washington to face charges that he has done bad things. We are going to go out on a limb here and speculate that there will be Unexpected Developments, including the return of Tony, who as you recall used to be dead, which as far as we know Edgar still is. We further speculate that these developments will lead to some kind of Crisis that will involve President Woman President, Chloe, Bill, Janeane Garofolo, and Alice as the housekeeper.

Are you ready? Andy the TropicHunt.com guy is.

UPDATE: I hope these motorists got the terrorist coverage.

UPDATE: Senator Craig!

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinking lawyer.

UPDATE: Is Senator Craig the dad from That Seventies Show?

UPDATE: Hot federal chick to the rescue! She needs Jack.

UPDATE: Hackers!

UPDATE: Jack is SUCH a charmer.

UPDATE: "If he goes off, I'll call you." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: If not for the fact that we've been seeing previews for six months showing us that Tony is alive, we would be shocked that Tony is alive.

UPDATE: It wasn't Tony's body in the grave. It was Jimmy Hoffa.

UPDATE: I HATE it when the C.I.P, module goes out of phase.

UPDATE: The White House gets its information from CNN, just like everybody else.

UPDATE: "Here's your briefing package." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: The old Lost Son Subplot.

UPDATE: I hate it when I lose sync.

UPDATE: I for one am tired of Jack sitting around in a suit and talking.

UPDATE: They're saving energy by keeping the Situation Room really dark.

UPDATE: Apparently half the lightbulbs in the executive branch have been unscrewed.

UPDATE: The terrorists have messed up air traffic. In other words: situation normal.

UPDATE: The PI looks like G. Gordon Liddy.

UPDATE: Seriously, people: TURN ON THE FREAKING LIGHTS.

UPDATE: Jack is slowly undressing.

UPDATE: Code name Hatteras? That's MY code name, dammit!

UPDATE: OK, basically, wherever Jack goes, terrorism occurs. LA finally got rid of him, now he's in DC, and bingo. The solution is: send jack to iran.

UPDATE: "He won't need to put his hands on anybody." Heheheh.

UPDATE: "I can handle Bauer." Heheheh.

UPDATE: "Jack, you're coming with me. And you're doing this my way." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: For the record: If we get to the one-hour mark, and the only violence has been a car crash, I am going to be VERY disappointed.

UPDATE: I have a bad feeling about the Africa subplot.

UPDATE: If it gets any darker in the White House, they'll have to wear miners' helmets.

UPDATE: Gabe has been hitting the minibar.

UPDATE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: Don't mess with the hot federal chick.

UPDATE: They should have requested a non-sniping room.

UPDATE: Maybe the pilot of GSA 117 had to use the head.

UPDATE: The highlights of the first hour! This shouldn't take long.

UPDATE: Jack has the alley.

UPDATE: Janeane Garofolo keeps repeating to herself, "They are paying me a lot of money."

UPDATE: I've been on worse flights.

UPDATE: The federal government should definitely stop using Vista.

UPDATE: Yep. That's the module, all right.

UPDATE: The White House spokesperson reminds me of Our Miss Brooks.

UPDATE:

UPDATE: President Woman President said "bastards."

UPDATE: Surprising, the number of Fords in this show.

UPDATE: Oh, just KISS HER, Jack.

UPDATE: By "near miss," they of course mean "near collision."

UPDATE: Uh-oh. The Africa Subplot is the actual Plot.

UPDATE: Hey! They stole this plot from Science Fair.

UPDATE: "How far would you have gone?" Heheheh.

UPDATE: Now we're talking. Jack has his gun back.

UPDATE: Why is Jack wearing an overcoat?

UPDATE: "Cover me." Heheheh.

UPDATE: How come the screens on TV-show computers NEVER display normal-looking things?

UPDATE: Verdict: VERY slow start. A plot about a module, which sounds way too much like the plot about the circuit board. We will watch the previews of tomorrow night, hoping for signs of life.

UPDATE: Not much to hope for. We now turn you over to The Amazing Steve, who will, we hope, make sense of all this.

Comments

[Diva]

*still being patient*

Steve, are you done yet?

[Wes S.]

Just fielded a phone call from my parents: they were wondering what the hell was going on with the show.

I thought - and so did my mom and dad - that the guy, Roger, who was killed in "24: Redemption" was a friend of the President's son. But now they're talking like the President's son was killed and his death was supposedly a suicide.

I had to tell them that I haven't a clue what's going on, either.

But I also told Mom that it was OK, because neither did the screenwriters/ad-libbers, apparently...

[Fred]

Dave asks:

How come the screens on TV-show computers NEVER display normal-looking things?

Answer:

Because if they showed normal looking things, it'd just be porn.

[homeybeef]

"We will watch the previews of tomorrow night, hoping for signs of life."

like if it looks boring we won't watch it?

[Tori Lennox]

Did you notice something fall out of the stuntman's hand when he fell?

I think it was Jack's gun!

[Suzy Q]

*baracksnork* at Cat.

[Siouxie]

I knew I shoulda watched the Golden Globes...

[Cat R]

Hmmm... local news. Maybe Jack can do something about Gov. Blago...?

[Apathetic Tony Almeida]

We don't have clearance to use "Recycle Bin."

[Homey's Wonderful Ex]

isnt it dangerous to not have jack around?

[Travis]

"The first big surprise of the season?" What, a plot?

[Wizzy]

PREVIEW: "I wnat bauer out of here, he's dangerous..."

ya think?

please let jack take off that stupid columbo coat.

[Gennita Low]

Okay, they are promising violence tomorrow night, right? If not, I'm really going to have to buy a bottle of wine.

[Suzy Q]

Jack wants to talk to Tony? Hah! Pet Cemetery Tony can only grunt and moan.

[jt]

"You won't have to wait for the first surprise, because it happens tomorrow night..."

It's sad when even the network previews admit that the first show was boring.

[Diva]

*calls 24 number*
*listens intently*
*writes down message*
"Be...sure...to...drink...your...Ovaltine."
A crummy commercial?!?!

[Apathetic Tony Almeida]

Suzy Q, my larynx has been compromised. No perimeter was established.

[Suzy Q]

They're giving Spielberg his "Many Lives, Many Masters" award on the Golden Globes.

[danceswithvowels]

Yes, Tori, it was a gun. But not Jack's. It belonged to that Colombo/Weather Reporter/Stuntman who jumped Almeida just in time for Jack to appear.

[sicarie]

@jt - first two shows, technically...

[Cassie]

Damn I blew off writing for 70 Days of Sweat Writing Challenge for this?

Worth every second of it.

[jt]

Roger that, sicarie.

What's REALLY sad is that the first two shows felt like four hours.

[MartiniShark]

I blame Obama. I had no idea his change would include neutering Bauer. He was in "time-out" for most of the show,never shot a thigh, and wore a windsor knot. The hell?!?!

[sicarie]

Yeah, I'm following Gennita's lead and getting a bottle of wine for tomorrow night.

[Layzeeboy]

Did you notice something fall out of the stuntman's hand when he fell?

Cat, I TiVo'd it. It was "Jack's" gun.

[Wes S.]

Sigh. Won't be able to join the liveblog tomorrow night; have to work some overtime. I'll just have to check in here tomorrow around ten-ish PM Central Standard Thigh-Shooting Time to find out what I missed...

Good night, all. It's been fun...

[Apathetic Tony Almeida]

Guys, Jack caught me in the second hour by sitting down and talking and they were looking for me for WEEKS! He's that good.

[NotSherly]

Enjoyed reading y'all. You were more interesting than the show.

[Diva]

Wes, glad you could be here tonight!

[Tori Lennox]

Yes, Tori, it was a gun. But not Jack's. It belonged to that Colombo/Weather Reporter/Stuntman who jumped Almeida just in time for Jack to appear.

Oh! Okay. I was too busy rolling around on the floor laughing to see who it was.

[Cat R]

Thanks, layzee

[Gennita Low]

It's just not right without Chloe. Also, I think they need to resurrect the entire dead CTU cast from the radiation poisoning and they can take over the FBI Geek Squad. Zombies might make the "module" hunt more interesting.

[AC]

I've got a Live Blog, now ended, at here.

Stop by tomorrow and let me know what you think. It might not be better than Barry, but it could be second best, right?

[Diva]

Gen, I LOVE that idea!!

[homeybeef]

That's all for me tonight folks. See ya after Steve makes this show seem entertaining and then tomorrow night for the hopeful return of Chloe

[danceswithvowels]

I think maybe that brown-shoed-trenchcoated stuntblimp thing that was supposed to be Jack was maybe a hat-tip to a flying camel, from certain other writers I could mention. Writers who, even if they aren't sure where a storyline is going when they start spamming each other over it, at least make it go somewhere. Enjoyably. So, that rules out TV scripting for those guys.

The gun was actual camel poop, of course.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I like pancakes. :)

[Cassie]

See ya tomorrow night. Gotta get writing.

[Hammond Rye]

OK, I like the redhead, but I still want Chloe. And maybe something from the dessert menu. Hmmm...

[danceswithvowels]

You're a kitty! Yes you are!

I'll have the pancakes, too. :-)

[pete]

Didn't we do the air traffic control thing in Die Hard II?

[Gennita Low]

Diva,

That way we can REALLY have a Mulder and Scully show, eh? Brain-eating zombies in DC chasing Pet Semetary Dead Agents while the our Bauer/Mulder goes on a spree while tossing lines like "Next time you stay dead!"

;-P

Even the Dead First Son can rise again! Why? Because he was ever so purty.

I'd better leave the alternative plot to The Amazing Steve :-).

[Kevin in Jax]

Interesting to see the more evil the terrorists, the stricter the dress code.

[danceswithvowels]

Thanks, gang. That was fun. And, Diva, I'm glad to help, and trust the therapy will overcome the damage. :-)

[danceswithvowels]

Even the Dead First Son can rise again! Why? Because he was ever so purty.

Was he one of the hair-guys in the Axe advert?

[daisymae]

Colin Farrell just said that he got the GG because "they must've done the counting in Florida." Should I laugh or take offense or both?/

[Loudmouth]

Much as most of those ****wads downtown deserve it, they better not blow up my city. That's what LA is for.

[Siouxie]

I guess tomorrow night can't be WORSE.

*watching Brothers & Sisters now*

[Loudmouth]

When activated Jack will do anything to complete his mission. The mission should be to thaw President Allstate's head, put it on Tony's body and lead a revolt to overthrow Juma first, and then Senator Red.

[danceswithvowels]

Wizzy, I hadn't watched any Die Hards until 2007's Live Free Or Die Hard, which was great fun. The Fifth Element was entertaining, but The Fifth Elephant was much better. Still, my favorite flick with Bruce in the list of ingredients is 12 Monkeys. The SB might note that BW's butt is exposed twicely in that one.

But even better (better? no way! yes way.) is Brad Pitt playing the role he was born for as the insane Jeffrey Goines.

Five thousand dollars, my man.

[k]

did anyone else catch the 3rd dead person at the sniper scene?

[holden caulfield]

insider info!

1) I live on a boat at the DC waterfront - there arent any big tanls like that within at least 150 miles -like up near philly - pretty far away. No working tugs - no working ships of any sort except for a decommished navy ship up at the Navy yard. Wish that scene took place there - that woulda been bitchin!

2) I have a pal who produced a night of Chloe doing stand up at a club in northern VA last year when she was in town filming 24. I was out on the road trying to elect our real first madame President - so I didnt get to see her. But she'll be here somewhere...

Thank Gods, she saves the world in a very funny way. (See her on youtube doing extacsy - so funny)

By the way, very nice Hillary! Strength AND pearls!

I noticed that the TV HRC's name had the same number of syllables as the real HRC. (always a good test for fake tv names) 3 and 2. I liked her though it seems that they chickened out on the whole Bill as first Laddie concept. Damn.

The TV HRC is gonna have troubles with her S of S though - and that will be fun to watch play out....

The irony is gonna be bitchin...

[Loudmouth]

Wooden dialog generator has been shopping in the same Walmart $5 DVD bin where I got Airplane, Die Hard and Dirty Harry. $15 script. Gotta make the network happy.

[k]

About that slip with the 3 dead people needing body bags....any thoughts? foreshadowing or stupid?

[k]

Where is THE DEAD HENCHMAN? that is the only person who commented during the show....

PLEASE
I gotta know....time is ticking...

[holden caulfield]

oops - i wrote bitchin twice- so lame - sorry.

[Renee (the First)]

Well, folks, it's been fun, but I'm outta here. Have to be up early tomorrow for (grumble, whine, moan) jury duty.

As a good citizen, I will of course recommend that all defendants be shot in the thigh.

Night, all.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

HOUR ONE! (Second hour being worked on....)

Last time during "24: Redemption" – We learned that: Jack Bauer is equally effective in real locations and fictional locations; soccer has more rules in Africa than in America (notably, machine guns); sometimes people at embassies can be real jerks; and despite just trying to settle down and help orphans, bad people still manage to find Jack Bauer, and he still manages to kill them.

8:00 am – Someone who looks a lot like Dr. Flox from Enterprise argues with his daughter about not using a cell phone, and ends up getting into a major car accident while using his cell phone. Guys in black vans grab the man out of his car right after having the accident. I'm guessing this happened in Miami.

8:02 am – Someone who looks a lot like Red Foreman is starting a congressional hearing with JACK BAUER testifying! Jack Bauer turns down having an attorney, because he is, of course, Jack Bauer. The senator starts asking questions about people, and Jack tells him the answers are classified. The senator states that it sounds like Jack tortured people. Jack doesn't answer, and when the Senator asks why, Jack tells him that the Senator forgot to answer in the form of a question but he'd like to answer the final Jeopardy question for all his money.

8:06 am – The Senator says he wants the truth, and Jack tells him he can't handle the truth. The Senator and Jack start to argue about Jack's methods of saving people, and Jack isn't the least bit scared off by this, because he's probably armed at this moment.

Before the Senator can say anything else, yet another branch of government comes in and asks for Jack's services, which I'm guessing are going to be just like what the Senator was just objecting to. The Senator tells Jack that he can go, but that he has to be back at this same time tomorrow. The Senator doesn't realize that Jack's days are a lot more action packed that most people's.

8:07 am – The female FBI agent introduces herself as Agent Walker, and tells Jack that he is going to be briefed when he gets to their offices. Jack says he wears boxers.

8:08 am – The agent gets a phone call from Agent Garaffilo, and is told that Michael Latham was the guy that got kidnapped in the morning. Turns out that this guy was an engineer, and nobody in the criminal world knows anything about getting into computers, so that's why he was kidnapped.

8:09 am – A very concerned agent holds a briefing in a conference room full of people, who must have been waiting around in there in the first place, because the kidnapping only happened about 10 minutes ago. The people around the table ask some obvious plot advancing questions.

8:11 am – At a bad guy's hideout, Lathan is already working on a computer. We can tell it's a bad guy's hideout because there are very few lights, unlike the good guy's offices, which have lots of lights. Since Lathan is already working on the computer, this hideout must be about 2 blocks away from the accident scene, so of course no one was able to follow them there. Latham's pretty good at his job, since he's messing around with the computer while it's still turned on. You'll notice that it automatically turned off when the bad guy grabbed it.

This isn't looking good though, because they keep showing airplanes, which means there's going to be a pretty bad accident soon.

8:12 – Jack's already at the FBI, meeting Agent Larry. Larry is sorry that his brothers Darryl and Darryl aren't there to meet him too. Larry tells agent Walker that Jack is the type of guy that can go off at any moment, and Walker tells him she's pretty sure that Jack isn't wired for explosives.

Agent Garaffilo appears to be the office suck-up, because as soon as Agent Walker leaves to talk to Jack, she's on Agent Larry like a South Florida retiree at a blue plate special.

8:13 – Agent Walker tells Jack that the government has a single firewall to protect all the extremely vital computer systems in the whole country. Before Jack can point out that doing that is a pretty stupid way to set up a network, she continues and says that they need his help. Jack says that he quit doing that, since his Senate indictment was getting in the way. He says he's not sure why she wanted to talk to him in the first place, since there doesn't appear to be anyone that needs to be shot in the thigh. Walker tells him that the person behind the firewall break-in is Tony Alemeda, who Jack last saw dead on the floor in CTU. (This gives me hope that Edgar, too, might not actually be dead.) Jack frowns while watching this, saying he always wondered why all federal computers take a long time to bring up pictures when the pictures on the Internet come up so much faster.

8:15 – Jack's pretty upset that it might actually be Tony, since he never once called or wrote to him while he was in a Chinese prison. Jack says he knows a lot about Photoshop, and that he's not convinced. Walker says that she dug up Tony's grave, just in case they were dealing with a Zombie Tony, and it turns out that DNA evidence says that the body wasn't Tony after all. Jack looks at the picture again and seems pretty upset.

8:16 – Tony comes out of the dark in the bad guy's hideout, to look at the planes on the screen. The bad guys don't understand how to use the module Latham worked on. It appears broken, most likely because they left the lid off the thing while they were using it. Tony brings the module back to Lathan, and threatens him with a never ending subscription to AOL if he doesn't get the module working quickly, and that he won't need Lathan's tech support help soon. Lathan gets the message.

Commercial

8:21 – At the White House, Mrs. President watches a fake news channel about a fake country. The President and Ethan, her advisor, discuss the African situation and General Juma. Ethan thinks a bail out might help, but the president tells him he's thinking of General Motors, which makes cars not dictatorships.

Henry, who looks remarkably like Mr. Keaton (but isn't), walks in without knocking, which can be dangerous in the Oval Office, and is very concerned about someone who's giving a very hazardous press conference. Henry is Mrs. President's husband, the First Hubby.

The President gets some notes about a briefing before the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and is very excited until she finds out it has nothing to do with joints. Ethan says that he doesn't want to sound like a broken record, and makes a hissing and popping noise. The President says that's the worst impression she's ever heard.

8:24 – The president enters the room and she thanks everyone for helping with the operation. She suddenly realizes her mistake, and leaves the operating room, and goes to meet with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, saying that going to war is a very hard decision.

8:25 – Lathan fixes the module for Tony, saying it was just overheating and gets it back online. This really freaks out the real air traffic controllers, because they see a glitch on the system, and that never EVER happens to computers.

8:26 – Back in Walker's office, she tells Jack that Tony is part of a home grown terrorist organization trying to mess around with infrastructure. Jack says that this whole "green" thing is going a bit far if people are starting to grown their own terrorists now. She tells Jack that Tony is probably a teensy bit upset that his wife, Michelle, was killed by a government task force, lead by the former president. Jack points out that everyone involved with that has been kicked off the show, so he still doesn't get why Tony would be involved. He finally agrees to help, and Walker gives Jack access to Tony's information.

8:28 – Agent Larry tells Walker about the glitch in air traffic control, and that it probably doesn't mean good thing for frequent flyers. They all look very concerned.

8:29 – On the plane, everyone does a Star Trek lurch, proving the plane just hit turbulence or something scarier.

8:30 – Jack's taken this time to read everything already, so Walker takes him to Shawn, while telling Jack about air traffic control. Shawn seems just thrilled by this.

8:31 – Back at the Joint Chief's meeting, a guy who looks like he should be a general because of his white hair and bingo pad on his chest tells the President the plan to get Juma. He says all he needs is a go order from her. The President tells him he'll get a green light as soon she gets Secretary Steven's post invasion report. He says he really just needs a go order, not a traffic signal, but she doesn't hear him. Steven's is being passive aggressive, and she tells him she needs the report right away. Ethan pulls her away to talk to someone in the hall. As she leaves she says she expects Steven's homework on her desk when she gets back.

Out in the hallway, Agent Tim tells her about everything nearly all the other characters in the show already know about – the air traffic control break-in. They discuss possible options – she wants to ground all the planes, but Tim says that if they do that, half the show will be over by then. He tells her that she'll be briefed in real-time, as opposed to being briefed in future time, which is a lot trickier. The president says she doesn't like the timing of this, and Ethan reminds her of the name of the show again.

Commercial

8:38 am – The First Hubby is having tea with a reporter, trying to bribe him with an exclusive story, but is interrupted by an agent. There's a phone call for the First Hubby from someone named Chuck. The First Hubby is excited by this, and asks if Peppermint Patty is there, but it turns out to be a different "Chuck".

8:39 am – Chuck looks like he's either a Dabney Coleman impersonator, or a private investigator. Turns out that he's investigating the mysterious death of the President's and First Hubby's son, and that his girlfriend got a mysterious $400,000 just before the son's death, which they think might be slightly suspicious, but nobody's investigated yet. The First Hubby asks the agent if Chuck might be leading him on, and the agent says he probably is. (First Hubby neglects to ask if there might be a massive internal conspiracy about this.)

8:41 am – Back at the FBI, Agent Garaffilo swears she's checked all the sockets – (but I'm guessing that Chloe would have done a much better job), and freaks out a little bit, which is always something you want in an FBI agent.

8:42 am – Jack directs Shawn to keep typing for him, which thrills Shawn to death. Jack thinks that the access cards the bad guys have been using might have been forged, which is something that never occurred to the crack FBI staff. Jack recognizes the guy who likely forged the cards is Gabriel Schector, a supplier that he and Tony used to get things "off book". The FBI agents are just about to screw up the plot by trying to get Schector the old-fashioned way, when Jack tells them that would be a mistake because it would really drag out the plot.

Agent Larry makes a crack about Jack wanting to torture the guy instead, and then when Jack starts to confront him, Agent Larry just eggs him on some more. Jack says that he really doesn't care what they end up doing, because he's the star of the show, and it's in his contract that he'll get to shoot some bad guys sooner or later. Walker interrupts this little macho fest that Agent Larry and Jack are having to ask how well Jack knows Schector. Jack says that he didn't think Walker wanted a date that badly, but she ignores this. She asks to speak to Agent Larry privately, and they walk 5 feet away past a half-height cubicle where no one could possibly hear them.

8:44 am – Walker tells Agent Larry that she wants to take Jack to meet with Schector, and that she'll keep Jack on a short leash. She goes back to Jack and says that they're going to do things "her way". Jack looks away as if to say, "She don't know me very well, do she?"

Commercial

8:50 am – Washington streets are just as easy to get around on as Los Angeles streets, because Walker and Jack can drive around without even stopping once on the way to visit Schector. Jack tells Walker that he and Tony used to use Schector as a conduit. Walker says, "Wouldn't that hurt?" Jack explains that they used Schector as a conduit for technology that he and Tony needed.

Walker asks if Jack and Tony were close, and Jack says they were, but in a "let's go get the bad guys" way. They arrive outside of Schector's building, where they meet an FBI agent that sticks out like a sore thumb on an otherwise relatively deserted street. He assures them that Schector's inside.

8:51 am – Back in the President's briefing room, she's briefed by Steven's on a computer monitor only capable of displaying yellow. She apologizes for "dressing down" Steven's in front of the Joint Chiefs. He accepts her apology, and assures her that he doesn't hate her freaking guts for doing that.

Ethan comes in and tells the President that the reporter isn't going to say anything until WAY after the show is over, so they won't have to deal with that plot line anymore. They will, however, have to deal with this whole kooky airplane thing. They exchange very concerned looks.

8:52 am – In the hallway outside the Apartment of Forgery, Jack hopes that Schector isn't going to give up the information easily. Walker says that they work under the confines of the law, forgetting that Jack isn't with the FBI.

8:53 am – Schector comes to the door after a HUGE thug answers the door and sees Walker's badge. Schector's a little freaked out that Jack is there, telling Walker that he has a witness (Huge Thug) if Jack does anything.

8:54 am – Schector asks Jack how that whole Senate Hearing thing is going. Jack is still maintaining his composure, since he hasn't reached the Jack's Mad Threshold yet. (It's creeping up though.) Jack says that he just wants the information on the components Schector stole for Tony, which freaks out Schector a bit, and he tries to get Huge Thug to get them to leave. Jack asks, "Are you sure?" and before you know it, Walker already has Huge Thug down on the ground. Jack grabs a gun, pointing it at Schector, who yells, "This was unprovoked! Unprovoked!" Walker appears to have studied the Jack Bauer playbook, because she tells him, "He was going for his gun! I have a witness!" (Jack looks so proud right now.) Walker tells Jack to "do what it takes".

Jack grabs to deadliest thing he can find – a ball point pen. Just as he's about to draw on Schector's face, Schector agrees to talk. He gets out the words, "Last time I saw Almeda", triggering an explosive device in his chest, or possibly a shots from a sniper from across the street. Maybe both, because there is definitely a sniper across the street and Schector and Huge Thug get shot. Walker and Jack are pinned down for a moment, long enough for the sniper to run off.

8:57 am – The phone rings, and it's for Jack! Tony finally called him, after all this time. Tony warns Jack to stay away, and it looks like Jack still doesn't believe Tony has turned bad.

8:58 – On the airplane, they get instructions to land. An air traffic controller realizes that his video screen has effectively been turned into a video game, because he doesn't have contact with the planes anymore. The person who does is Tony, who learned how to be an air traffic controller while he was busy not being dead. He gives them instructions, which freaks out the thug with Tony. The thug thought this whole, "Let's steal air traffic control equipment and the engineer who knows how to get through the firewall" was just a prank. Tony assures him it isn't.

9:00 am – Time's up!

STAY TUNED FOR THE SECOND HOUR SUMMARY OF 24, AS SOON AS I CAN GET THIS KEYBOARD TO STOP SMOKING!

[danceswithvowels]

THE DEAD HENCHMAN ~ chanted, "Hehe. Damn!"

So, I'd guess Hemet.

[k]

Nobody remembers that scene in 24?
If you do, tell me your thoughts on who you think the other guy is? is it foreshadowing to when we find out that renee's boyfriend is in on the terrorism and maybe jack was supposed to be sniped too?
Or will there be a deleted scene?

[Renee (the First)]

Oh, and k -- it's usually safer to bet on stupid.

[k]

Hmmm...just a mistake huh?
Its just a little hard to believe when they had 2 years to get ready for this opener, but maybe you are right.

[Siouxie]

YAY Steve!!!! I'll have to read your BRILLIANT summaries tomorrow!

[Cat R]

Steve is ssssssssssmmmmokin' !!!!!!!

[judi]

964 posts! come on, people, let's make it a thousand!

[Cat R]

I'll do my part!

[Hammond Rye]

Good job ,Steve!

[Wizzy]

Steve, loved your first summary! awesome! Jack grabbed the deadliest thing he could find...rofl

[oneblankspace]

Is that the same Chuck from NBC Monday?

[Annie Where-but-here]

ok, judi.

Just watching the first bit of it here on the West Coast. It's dragging because after each line, the scriptwriters pause to admire their work.

Someone needs to go Jack Bauer on the Writers Guild. And I know just the gal. ;)

[Gennita Low]

Thanks, Amazing Steve! I'm going to have to douse my smoking brain and come back for Hour 2 tomorrow!

[Hugh Ken Knott Bea Sirius]

I want to see another season start at midnight (like season 1). I like having the characters sleep deprived right from the first episode. Jack probably had a good night's sleep and breakfast before episode 1!

[ArcticAl]

YAY Steve!!! I can't post during the show as my lappie is in the shop and this desktop is too far from the tv. Feel great that my Jack is back, but would have liked the planes to crash as a better warning. Hadn't they already nuked LA by this time last season?

[Layzeeboy]

Thanks for clearing that up, Steve.

[Annie Where-but-here]

They nuked Santa Clarita, a town north of LA. Barely worth the uranium, actually.
Just watched the first hour. The dramatic music is making me ill. "Freckles" the FBI chick's stare is a tad old already, too.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I figured that pilot was gonna die. Too much lipstick to live.

[Annie Where-but-here]

"The less info you have, the safer you are."
I think I worked with that guy.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

SECOND HOUR! SCROLL UP TO SEE HOUR 1!

Previously on 24 – We watched Hour 1. What, you forgot that already?

9:00 am – Air traffic control is pretty upset, and decides to really freak everyone on board by trying to call all the passengers.

9:01 am – Agent Larry gets a phone call, and finds out the bad guys are using terrorist plan Die Hard 2. Everyone at FBI is pretty sure they have no idea what to do.

9:02 am – Walker calls Larry. Larry explains about the "Die Hard 2" plan, Walker explains about the "Schector has too much lead in his diet" plan. Jack realizes that Tony must have a plant at FBI, and tells Walker. Walker says she has plants all over the office, and that's what makes it a nice place to work. Jack tells her he means someone at FBI must be working with Tony. Walker doesn't believe him.

9:06 am – Jack is asked to give up his gun, which he does, since he can use just about anything to kill anyone, anyway. Jack gets in a SUV and leaves with Agent Killner, whose name Jack approves of.

Walker talks to the agent Jack was speaking with, and he assures her they'll get the guy as soon as SWAT gets there. There's no UPS truck yet in sight, so it might be a while.

Meanwhile, the sniper has made it from the roof all the way down to the lobby, where we see a bunch of FBI agents standing around chit-chatting about sitcoms they saw last night. The sniper heads back upstairs.

9:07 – Agent Janice (formerly Agent Garaffilo) is still a little freaked out about "all these guns and stuff", while Agent Larry gives her and Shawn some orders. Air traffic control calls back and tells Larry that despite their best efforts, they still haven't figured out how to contact the plane, even through nearby airports in the area. The air traffic control manager hangs up.

They still don't know what's going on, until one of the screens starts flashing with strange animated green icons. Tony has a similar screen, but his looks more like a Matrix screen saver.

The manager gets a phone call from Tony, who tells him to bring up the video feed from the tower at JFK… and then the manager hangs up on Tony! I'm not sure I would have done that.

The planes are on a collision course. We can tell this by the animations of planes on green screens and the concerned looks on people's faces. At the last second, Tony tells one of the planes to pull up. That plane does, and narrowly misses the first plane. All the people on that plane do another Star Trek lurch. Everyone looks really relieved. Tony calls back and tells the air traffic control manager that was just a warning.

Commercial

9:16 - Walker and the FBI agents all get into a staring contest with the building through television monitors in a van, trying to force out the sniper that way. The building is winning, and there's no sign of the sniper.

9:17 - A black car, with thugs all dressed in black arrive at Tony's place. One of them announces himself as Emerson, which sounded remarkably like "terrorism". Tony gets one of his thugs to remove Lathan's handcuffs, which had to make it hard to work on that module. Lathan is told to go get cleaned up.

Emerson arrives, and Tony gives him the air traffic control module in a nice metal case, where it's encased in foam. I can only assume that the previously over-heating module is not hot enough to melt the foam or make the case hot because of its advanced technology. He asks Tony how the FBI might have found out about Schector, and Tony actually has to explain who Jack Bauer is, and that he'll take care of him. Tony wants to know the rest of the plan, since he hasn't been reading ahead in the script, but Emerson refuses because it'll be more exciting that way.

9:20 – Back in the White House, Ethan talks to the press secretary about what to tell the press and what not to tell the press, right outside the press room, where no one could possibly hear the conversation.

The press secretary tells the press that General Juma is a really bad guy, and that the US has used some really strong language, and that if he doesn't listen, they'll use even MORE strong language, and possibly even send in troops.

While this is going on, Ethan gets a phone call about the near miss the airplanes had, and leaves the press area.

9:21 – President Allison meets with the Prime Minister in the Oval office, with everyone standing around like they're in a big photo op. Allison insists that Juma be treated fairly in a court of law, and that the law does eventually work, citing OJ as an example. The Prime Minister eventually agrees, and they shake hands.

9:23 – President Allison leaves the room. Ethan meets her outside to tell her about the near miss at JFK, and that Tony is behind it. Allison says, "This is unacceptable!" Ethan tells her, "Oh! Well! If it's unacceptable, we'll get a more acceptable terrorist to take over". She brushes this off, telling him there must be some way of unhooking all these "doohickeys" so the terrorists can't use 'em. Ethan says they're working on it. Allison tells Ethan to get all the non-essential planes grounded. This is probably a similar order to that has been used in Washington to get rid of all non-essential traffic to allow Jack to drive around, unimpeded.

9:24 – Emerson gets a phone call from the Sniper, and hands the phone to Tony. The Sniper is SHOCKED, just SHOCKED, that he's trapped in the building. He's not sure how this could have possibly have happened. The SWAT team is still looking around for him in the building.

9:25 – Out in the car, Agent Killner tells Jack that he loves the show, and asks for an autograph. He also says that he thinks Senator Red Foreman had no right to be questioning him like that. Jack says that it's OK, because it's a plot device they haven't used before, and that if more people knew about the show, there would be even more viewers than there are now.

9:27 – Agent Leonard, who is completely alone, and without any of the SWAT team the rest of the agents were waiting for, moves around a dark basement, forgetting to turn on the lights, which would have helped him see The Sniper, and made this sentence much shorter.

Leonard and Sniper suddenly see each other, but neither of them shoots because that would be what everyone expected them to do.. That's a good thing for both of them because Leonard, because he tells Sniper, "Tony sent me to get you out". Leonard gives Sniper an FBI jacket, car keys, and big hug from Tony, and Sniper slinks back off into the dark. Leonard radios up, and says that the basement is clear, forgetting he doesn't have an extra FBI jacket for himself.

9:28 – Jack says, "Agent Walker – She's good, huh?" Killner misunderstands and says, "She knows what it takes to get the job done." Jack senses that he's needed outside, so he asks Killner if he can get out to get a breath of "fresh air", which is Jack code for "I'm about to get a bad guy".

When he steps out, Jack immediately notices that all the agents buy their shoes at the same store, except one guy (Sniper). Going on his "one of these things is not like the other" hunch, he tells Walker not to have the FBI follow Sniper. Jack tells her it would be "more fun and stuff" if they followed Sniper on their own. She immediately wins Jack's respect by using the word "perimeter" too, and gets the keys to another agent's car. She and Jack follow Sniper.

Commercial

9:34 – Emerson tells Lathan to do as he's told, and he'll stay alive. They arrive at a new secret location, which looks exactly like the last dark room they were in, except this has bigger computer screens. Speaking of alive, Colonel Dubaku is too. He was last seen nearly getting blown up in Africa, but now he's standing in this new secret location. Emerson gives the module to Dubaku. Dubaku must be really upset with our government for messing around with his and Juma's girlfriends, because he tells Emerson that the US is going to pay the price for "interfering with our affairs".

9:36 – At the Oval Office, Agent Tim tells President Allison that the multi-year project that it took to build the fire would take literally weeks or even months to re-engineer. Nobody in the room questions how a multi-year project could be redone in a couple of months, because they're afraid of looking dumb in front of computer expert Agent Tim. Turns out that the national power grid and the water system are also controlled by this SAME computer system, and boy, if someone has to reboot, there's gonna be trouble. Thank goodness computers never need to reboot.

9:37 – Ethan gets is fiftieth phone call in the last hour, this time from the agent that's with the First Hubby. This agent is named Gitch, or Gidge, or something like that. Whatever it is, it sounds like he was named by Dr. Seuss. In any event, he informs Ethan that the First Hubby is going to see his son's ex-girlfriend, that FH has hired a private investigator, and that President Allison needs to know.

9:38 – At FBI, Agent Larry talks with Agent Janis. She informs him that Walker and Jack have both left the building, and so has Elvis.

9:39 - Jack and Walker follow Sniper in their car. Jack gets a little spooked until Walker explains to him that what he's seeing is called "traffic" and a "red light". Jack explains that he never saw this sort of thing when driving around Los Angeles. Agent Larry calls Walker and asks where she and Jack are. She says, "Earth", which seems to placate him at first, but he's still suspicious so he tells Agent Janis to try and figure out where Walker is by using the signal in her radio.

9:40 – Walker asks Jack how far he would have gone, and Jacks' about to answer when he realizes she meant with Schecter. He says it doesn't matter, because all the script said was to draw on his face.

Commercial

9:48 – At an office, First Hubby meets with Sam, the girlfriend of Roger (his son) on the terrace of a building, where no snipers could possibly shoot him. First Hubby asks her about the $400,000 in the Grand Cayman account, and she says it's money from her aunt that just happened to go into HER account, instead of her aunt's account. First Hubby points out that Turbo Tax has no way of accounting for this kind of fraud, and if they IRS finds out she'll be SOL. Oh, and that he doesn't believe her. He threatens her, and the Secret Service detail intervenes, telling him they have to go.

9:51 – Tony calls Sniper, who is POSITIVE that no one followed him. Tony tells him to stand by, and Tony prepares to leave. Jack realizes they might be spotted, so they stop the car 500 feet away, and park. Sniper's car gets blocked from continuing by a fork lift, and stops. Ten seconds later, the fork lift moves, and Sniper drives his car another three feet, stops and parks.

Walker gives Jack a gun, and they follow after Sniper. Sniper's just about go use his Thug Key card to get in this impenetrable chain-link fence when he hears a noise, and gets ambushed by Walker and Jack. Jack punches him a few times. Jack then uses his gun to shoot out a security camera. Tony doesn't consider this the least bit freaked out that Jack might be there, despite years of working with Jack.

Turns out that the hideout Tony has been on is a boat. Jack approaches, using Sniper as a shield, which works out for Jack, since another gunman shoots Sniper. Walker shoots the gunman. Score is now 2 to 0. They get on the boat; another gunman – score is now 3 to 0. Walker and jack go below deck.

Walker finds a computer, which is displaying a green screen with the words "delete all system files", which is just like every other computer in the world.

9:59 - Jack looks around, finds a door, and Tony busts through. Jack chases after him, and they briefly stop to exchange glances. Jack finally tackles him and subdues him. Agent Larry shows up by helicopter and Jack asks Tony, "What the hell happened", which is exactly what viewers over the last two hours have asked themselves.

10:00 – Time's up!

NEXT TIME ON 24: President Allison looks concerned! Jack Yells! Tony doesn't change his expression! ALL TOMORROW NIGHT! SEE YOU THEN!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Bah! Bad link. Sorry about that.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Someone shoot the woodwind section. And the one guy on the tomtoms.

[judi]

what's going on with the mondo-link?

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

I didn't close off the HTML link to the first posting I made, which pointed people at the first hour's write-up.

[Annie Where-but-here]

You can sure tell a lot about a guy by his shoes.

[judi]

did that fix it?

[Annie Where-but-here]

What a bunch of drama llamas.
(yes, I think so, judi. Thanks.)

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Yes! Judi to the rescue!

[Cat R]

Great summary, Steve!

[Cat R]

988?

[;p]

last!

[djtonyb]

*makes note to read all of Steve's updates, as he has not actually seen one complete episode of 24*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Thought we were going for 1000. Tony and Jack are still dancing here on the West Coast.

This is not a very happy show.

[djtonyb]

*blows raspberry at last*

[Annie Where-but-here]

djtonyb - I tried to watch it all the way for the first time tonight, but couldn't stand it anymore. Some of the commercials were fun. Sigh.

[Cat R]

I'm still here, waiting to see if the blog explodes when it reaches 1,000. It would be more exciting than tonight's episodes (but not more exciting than Steve's recaps).

[Cat R]

993...

[djtonyb]

Well, Annie, it appears the bot is eating posts again. Last I saw we need 13 more...

[djtonyb]

Cat - we used to hit 1000 posts regularly... the blog doesn't really break, it just gets wierd(er)

[djtonyb]

Are we there yet?

[Cat R]

996...

What can I say, I'm falling asleep here...

[Cat R]

Almost...