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December 29, 2008

CSI: WILKES BARRE

Key troubling quote: She called police again the next day when she found footprints in her bedroom closet.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Cheryl Howard)

Comments

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you'd better not shout
or call 9-1-1
there's thievery about
or just 'xmas fun'
stanley carter's taking your stuff!

your computer has gone
to his attic lair
he wonders if you've
got wifi up there
stanley carter's taking your stuff!

he sees you when you're sleeping
he knows what things to take
he'd like to grab some xmas food
but candied yams is all you make (bleah!).

so you have to admit
that this guy should pay
but better-dressed thieves
took your 401(k),
while stanley carter's taking your stuff!

After a thorough investigation, it was revealed that the homeless perps' name was Dick Cheney.

'When we were going through the inventory of what he did take, we found a note labeled "Stanley's Christmas List" of all the items he had removed from the residence and donated to himself,' Smith said.

Santa was definitely on the 'naughty' list this year.


Kato Kaetlin (sp?), but with more chutpah.

Of course he's from Arkansas. One of our more innovative citizens. I'm surprised he could draft a wish list.

AND he scratched my Aerosmith "Toys In The Attic" album!

and just what in the name of screaming Jesus is a shared attic?

Probably not an attic per se. More like the in between the roof and the ceiling area. I used to do this kind of stuff in a triplex as a kid.

"Oh, Alfred... When did you come in?"

Great fun for 10 year old.

I think its kind of amazing. When a guy gets caught, we call him a criminal. When he gets away, we call him a hero. When he does it in a suit, they make movies about it.

You have no idea how difficult it is to keep the moss looking nice in your closet.

Even moreso when I don't have a closet.

It was not immediately clear if he had a lawyer.

...although the inmate in the next cell reported that his defense counsel had disappeared earlier in the day.

.
Carter was in jail Sunday at the Luzerne County Correctional Facility with a preliminary hearing set for Jan. 5. It was not immediately clear if he had a lawyer.

Lawyer? Hell, he needs an agent! This is a 1990's Tom Hanks movie waiting to be made!


Here's another one.
.

So he took stuff from the home on Christmas day? It was the Grinch!

Maybe he was avoiding visiting relatives at his house.

Ah, another local boy does well. According to the local paper he took "food" from under the Christmas tree.(?)

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