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November 25, 2008


School Pressured to Fire Lunch Lady, Former Porn Star

(Thanks to Timothy Hussar)


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Crystal Gunns??


I hope she wears hair net(s) when serving the kids

Boys are begging their moms not to make a lunch. Cafeteria food is now looking so much more appealing.

Only in NJ can you bring Gunns to school.

Lunch lady = milk in plastic cups?

Does she whip the butter?

I keep thinking of Adam Sandler's Lunch Lady Land

This confirms that educational standards in NJ are sagging.

What's wrong with you people? We can't have lewd and suggestive behavior like this in our school cafeterias...?! Think of the kids ... !

They're just making a big hooha out of nothing. And enquiring minds want to know what calibre the gunns were, 45 maybe

I suspect that Fox News ran only the top half of that photo.

Those gunns are barely concealed!

OK, Anthony and Sio stole my comments, sooo....

Kids are asking for singles for their lunch money.

More shoddy journalism.
The story doesn't list which movies she was in, or what awards, if any, that she won.

When you name your kid Crystal Gunns she has no choice in her profession. They should be applauding he for finding other work. :)

She's only 32? She looks like she's 50. Does silicone cause premature aging?

so the kids in NJ get a "well rounded" education.... and after checking out her pic in wiki, I'd say she's better than any formal program that teaches abstinance. ick!

I'm guessing it causes premature something...

Stay in school, kids!

Whoa! Gunns of Navarone!

Something tells me the men of NJ would just love to support the sagging education system.

hot lunch indeed.

She could definitely poke an eye out with those things.

Katie: I believe the phrase "rode hard and put up wet" describes the problem.

Well, if she does lose her job, maybe she can become a traffic control officer. She can work at the jughandles.

Guess porn does not pay that well. Dam.

I don't see the problem. Who cars what she used to do.

Dispensing food and sex, I think she's pretty much got all her bases covered.

comparing herself to bill clinton...the nerve!

in her movies, did she inhale?
(i feel so dirty now, i'm sorry)

So, was that picture taken at her current or previous job?

With those gunns she might qualify for disability.

I can understand the back problems (see Danny's link).
But her ankles are starting to give? Is that from holding them aloft for long periods?
I'm just askin'... .

. . .And parents complained that their children were going hungry because they could not bring themselves to eat her open-faced sandwiches. . .

Exactly who found out she was an adult star?
I can see it now...

He: "Uh, honey, pause that for a second. Does she look like little Johny's lunch lady?"


Well, if she does lose her job, maybe she can become a traffic control officer. She can work at the jughandles.

Hey, those Gunns would make nice traffic cones! Just paint them orange!

Two words: sloppy seconds

In my NJ high school, all the lunch ladies were porn stars. To me.

Here's a better pic. It was taken right after lunch on Meat Loaf Day. Needless to say, no meat loafed.

(Not safe for dairy barns.)

She's better than the old lunch lady at my school who wore a french maid outfit on Halloween. *shudder*

New Jersey Unified
School District Menu

Ripe melons
Legs over easy
Muffin with sausage

Chicken breasts
Porn on the cob (with high-priced spread)
Roast pork butt
Bearded clam
All-meat wiener

Dessert: Hair pie with nipple-on-it-an ice cream

*smacks* SW


The boys at the school are undoubtedly very happy to learn the lunch lady's porn moniker. They are fans of fair and balanced news for life!

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