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November 20, 2008

AIR CANADA PASSENGERS:

Do not click here.

(Thanks to Kay Myers)

Comments

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The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot...
Did they pass out adult diapers first?

"The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot."

I'm sure that had no bearing on the sudden increase in airsick bag usage.

Meanie and Annie, I'm sure it was coming out of both ends.

"Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."


Dave! Slow down the posts! Some of us have jobs, ya know. (For now, anyway.)

I did.

And all I have to say is "Chicks RULE!"

One of the only times you'll find a published account of when a man fell apart and a woman with a cool head took over and saved the day. Interesting...

The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot...

. . . which prompted several further nervous breakdowns in the passenger cabin.

So why did they ask the passengers before they asked the crew?

I'd offer to fly the plane but only if they refunded my luggage fee.

"Are there any qualified pilots aboard?"
[Pause]
"No? Well, how about clergy, then?"

A 767. Thank goodness it wasn't one of those huge airplanes.

At least they got to land at Shannon and have a pint or three.

Hamm, my thoughts precisely!

Operator: ...have a emergency call for you on line five, from a Mr. Hamm.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: All right, give me Hamm on five, hold the mayo.

Can you say "Amtrak," ay?

"Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

Posted by: Hammond Rye | 10:11 AM on November 20, 2008

Exactly, Hammie!

Actually, geezers may remember this was already a movie with Karen Black, which inspired the plot of Airplane!.

Elaine: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

"I've got to concentrate..concentrate...concentrate.
I've got to concentrate..concentrate...concentrate.
Echo...echo..echo.
Pinch hitting for Pedro Verbon..Manny Mota..Mota...Mota"

The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot. When none was found, one stewardess admitted she held a current commercial pilot's license but said her license for reading cockpit instruments had expired.
Sounds like she didn't wanna. Sure hope she gets a bonus.
btw - Siouxie's cockpit license is alive and well.

Yes, Annie. The oral exam was extremely hard, but it's now behind me.

Doctors from Britain and Canada on board determined that the co-pilot was confused and disoriented.

Brilliant!

Then, Siouxie, don't drop the soap.
Unless you want to.

the cockpit skills of the flight attendant

SNORK

*pictures flight attendant inflating Otto Pilot*

Just a part of normal flight attendant cross training up here in Canada. You mean your (not you're) flight attendants can't fly the plane too?!?!?

Otto was no laughing matter, Layzeeboy. Do you know how many frat boys were seriously injured after that movie? Mostly by Southern co-eds...in the back seat. Do NOT try that at home.

Did anyone note the name of the reporter? POGATCHNIK - would be a good name for tool used in Canada by the indigenous populace.

"Did anyone note the name of the reporter? POGATCHNIK - would be a good name for tool used in Canada by the indigenous populace"

Or a Russian fan of Walt Kelly's Pogo.

"Excuse me Captain, since you aren't flying the plane could you get me a pillow and a bag of peanuts?"

I wonder if the stewardess went down over Macho grande.

Doesn't the 767 have one of the new generation of avionic controls that can land the plane if you plug the spot on the landing strip from the GPS?

I mean, it's nice to have someone there in case the computer hiccu

hiccu

hiccu

hiccu

*smacks NMUA*
Get a holt of yourself, man!

This article fails to answer the really important question.

Could anyone on the plane speak Jive?

and does the co-pilot like movies with gladiators in them?

Stewardess, I speak jive

Got Airplane from Wally World for $5. Know what I'm gonna watch tonight.

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