AIR CANADA PASSENGERS:
Do not click here.
(Thanks to Kay Myers)
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November 20, 2008
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We won't . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves ‹(•¿•)› | November 20, 2008 at 09:53 AM
The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot...
Did they pass out adult diapers first?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 20, 2008 at 09:56 AM
"The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot."
I'm sure that had no bearing on the sudden increase in airsick bag usage.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | November 20, 2008 at 10:00 AM
Meanie and Annie, I'm sure it was coming out of both ends.
Posted by: Siouxie | November 20, 2008 at 10:10 AM
"Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | November 20, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Dave! Slow down the posts! Some of us have jobs, ya know. (For now, anyway.)
Posted by: pogo | November 20, 2008 at 10:14 AM
I did.
And all I have to say is "Chicks RULE!"
One of the only times you'll find a published account of when a man fell apart and a woman with a cool head took over and saved the day. Interesting...
Posted by: eilbeback | November 20, 2008 at 10:16 AM
The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot...
. . . which prompted several further nervous breakdowns in the passenger cabin.
Posted by: cowhand214 | November 20, 2008 at 10:18 AM
So why did they ask the passengers before they asked the crew?
Posted by: oneblankspace | November 20, 2008 at 10:20 AM
I'd offer to fly the plane but only if they refunded my luggage fee.
Posted by: cowhand214 | November 20, 2008 at 10:22 AM
"Are there any qualified pilots aboard?"
[Pause]
"No? Well, how about clergy, then?"
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | November 20, 2008 at 10:29 AM
A 767. Thank goodness it wasn't one of those huge airplanes.
At least they got to land at Shannon and have a pint or three.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 20, 2008 at 10:30 AM
Hamm, my thoughts precisely!
Operator: ...have a emergency call for you on line five, from a Mr. Hamm.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: All right, give me Hamm on five, hold the mayo.
Posted by: Allen at Division | November 20, 2008 at 10:38 AM
Can you say "Amtrak," ay?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | November 20, 2008 at 11:07 AM
"Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | 10:11 AM on November 20, 2008
Exactly, Hammie!
Actually, geezers may remember this was already a movie with Karen Black, which inspired the plot of Airplane!.
Elaine: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 20, 2008 at 11:09 AM
"I've got to concentrate..concentrate...concentrate.
I've got to concentrate..concentrate...concentrate.
Echo...echo..echo.
Pinch hitting for Pedro Verbon..Manny Mota..Mota...Mota"
Posted by: Braniff | November 20, 2008 at 11:13 AM
The pilot then asked flight attendants to find out if any passenger was a qualified pilot. When none was found, one stewardess admitted she held a current commercial pilot's license but said her license for reading cockpit instruments had expired.
Sounds like she didn't wanna. Sure hope she gets a bonus.
btw - Siouxie's cockpit license is alive and well.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 20, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Yes, Annie. The oral exam was extremely hard, but it's now behind me.
Posted by: Siouxie | November 20, 2008 at 11:43 AM
Doctors from Britain and Canada on board determined that the co-pilot was confused and disoriented.
Brilliant!
Posted by: Danny | November 20, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Then, Siouxie, don't drop the soap.
Unless you want to.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 20, 2008 at 12:24 PM
the cockpit skills of the flight attendant
SNORK
*pictures flight attendant inflating Otto Pilot*
Posted by: Layzeeboy | November 20, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Just a part of normal flight attendant cross training up here in Canada. You mean your (not you're) flight attendants can't fly the plane too?!?!?
Posted by: ArcticAl | November 20, 2008 at 12:26 PM
Otto was no laughing matter, Layzeeboy. Do you know how many frat boys were seriously injured after that movie? Mostly by Southern co-eds...in the back seat. Do NOT try that at home.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 20, 2008 at 12:30 PM
Did anyone note the name of the reporter? POGATCHNIK - would be a good name for tool used in Canada by the indigenous populace.
Posted by: Larry | November 20, 2008 at 01:16 PM
"Did anyone note the name of the reporter? POGATCHNIK - would be a good name for tool used in Canada by the indigenous populace"
Or a Russian fan of Walt Kelly's Pogo.
Posted by: pogo | November 20, 2008 at 02:15 PM
"Excuse me Captain, since you aren't flying the plane could you get me a pillow and a bag of peanuts?"
I wonder if the stewardess went down over Macho grande.
Posted by: MartiniShark | November 20, 2008 at 03:14 PM
Doesn't the 767 have one of the new generation of avionic controls that can land the plane if you plug the spot on the landing strip from the GPS?
I mean, it's nice to have someone there in case the computer hiccu
hiccu
hiccu
hiccu
Posted by: Not My Usual Alias | November 20, 2008 at 03:15 PM
*smacks NMUA*
Get a holt of yourself, man!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 20, 2008 at 03:40 PM
This article fails to answer the really important question.
Could anyone on the plane speak Jive?
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | November 20, 2008 at 04:05 PM
and does the co-pilot like movies with gladiators in them?
Posted by: insomniac | November 20, 2008 at 04:33 PM
Stewardess, I speak jive
Posted by: DavCat | November 20, 2008 at 05:39 PM
J-J-J-Jive Talkin'
Posted by: Cat R | November 20, 2008 at 06:22 PM
Got Airplane from Wally World for $5. Know what I'm gonna watch tonight.
Posted by: Loudmouth | November 21, 2008 at 01:57 PM