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October 24, 2008

THE IMPLICATIONS ARE STAGGERING

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure

(Thanks to jon harris)

Comments

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Ahhhh...my blood pressure just went down.

Is this going to be one of your experiments tonight?

Ummmmmm.....I will have to share this my father which will not make my mother happy.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Like, if there's an annoying person in the room who is making your blood pressure go up, you fart, the person leaves, and your blood pressure goes down? Makes sense to me.

"Side effects may include gas with oily discharge, increased bowel movements, an urgent need to have them, and an inability to control them."

Um, I think I'll stick with the atenolol, thangcksz.

It's a medical mystery how ANY man can have high blood pressure, with these scientific results.

"You want to work on that cancer research some more?"
"Nah."
"Heart disease?"
"Not really."
"Well then, what?"
"Let's figure out what the stink in farts is for."
"Okay."

"That was no fart. That was government-funded research."

Isn't there at least a chance that the mice use the farts because they can't get any good beer?

I mean, how do we know that the mice would not prefer to control their blood pressure some other way?

Also, is this yet another way to blame-shift on a fart?

"Did you just fart?"
"Uh. No! There's a mouse in my pocket. A mouse trying to control its blood pressure. In my pocket."

So, either he farts, or he has a coronary.
Sounds exactly like my ex.

I can't bring myself to read the article, since I personally have never farted. I do however, feel I am getting the idea from the excellent blog commentary.

*bfffftttt!!!* @ Jazzzz

You know where this is heading, right? Yes, prescription farts.

"Mr. Meanie, your Stenchemouttathezone is ready."

*Waves fresh air @ C-Bol. Welcome back, ancient one.*

My grandmother used to affectionatly (I think) call me "You little stinker."

Who knew that was a good thing?

OK, doc. But before you take my blood pressure, will you pull my finger, I jammed my it on my way to your office.
WOW!! 120/65.
Thanks.

I fart in the blogs general direction!

Wait a second . . . they want to enhance its formation? This can't be good.

Cristobol! delighted to know you're still alive...

I'm 110/60 and the Ravishing Mrs. Thunking is even lower. We eat lots of kim-chi.

"High blood pressure? That is bad news! Is there anything you can do for me, Doc?"

"Well, you're in luck. I just got back from lunch at Taco Bell."

Oh, give me a fart
'Cause it's good for my heart
Though the stench will hold people at bay
Whether it goes unheard
Or speaks louder than words
Passing gas is my BP's bouquet


...Is this why folks talk about living to a ripe old age?

Random, my numbers are right in there with yours... my diet is Beef, Chocolate, Pasta and Beer. (ISIANMTU, I have witnesses), and I fart with the best of 'em. But I'd rather suffer a heart attack than eat kim-chi... just sayin'

Ducky, your poetry reminds me of Blazing Saddles' famous scene...

Based on my limited field research I can state there are very few instances of hypertension among the users of mass transit.

Wyo, thank you. I LOVED Blazing Saddles.

Thanks for the welcomes!

Next time, keep in mind my blood pressure is pretty good.

Butt thanks.

Is that diashhtolic or sh1tstolic?

It was so much fun hanging out with ddd and Siouxie after the book signing tonight. After we had a pillow fight and a shower, we braided each other's hair!

Some of the evenings' festivities are on my blog- click if interested.

So beans ARE good for you... in a sort of roundabout way.

diverdowndoc:

I have cats, and their farts are terrible. Worst of all, they save them until they're sitting on your lap.

Dick: Say, Dan, have you heard about the Implications?
Dan: No, Dick. What about them?
Dick: They're staggering.
Dan: Sounds like they've had too much beer.
Dick: They can't breathe, is all. For all the farting.
Dan: No kidding! I bet their blood pressure's good!
Dick: Sock it to me!
Dan: Say good night, Dick.
Dick: Ffffffffft.

Speaking of healthitudiness, we need more ftart cherries.

I need some coffee. Can someone distract the cat from the stinking mouse long enough to brew something that's good to the last dropping, pour favor? Than kew.

And I always thought farts were just God's little gift to lend a touch of hominess to unfamiliar surroundings.

I can think of at least one Palme D'Or winning film maker who will never need medication.

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