SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE
The little furred bastards are setting fires and roughing up veterans.
"Flaming Squirrels" would be a good name for a rock band.
(Thanks to Jen Lange)
Update: Also "Flaming Pet Rats"
(Thanks to DavCat)
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October 14, 2008
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Rat link: "I had a few beers before it happened, but nothing out of the ordinary," Stanifer told Eyewitness News.
"This is my parent's house. My dad's not here right now. He's in Africa on a mission trip and my mom works most of the time. We can't get a hold of her," said Stanifer.
Fire investigators said the damage to the home will cost nearly $30,000 to repair. The rat was unharmed.
Until now.
Posted by: Cat R | October 14, 2008 at 07:32 AM
From the veteran's story: “I had to look for lichens and other fungus,” he said.
He'd be better off waiting until Nov. 4.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 14, 2008 at 08:27 AM
Ladies and Gentleman, give it up for the Flaming Squirrels. For real.
Posted by: andy | October 14, 2008 at 08:45 AM
This squirrel took out an Army sergeant?!? They're getting command training somewhere...
"Holey moley, Bullwinkle! I'll jump on his head, and then you get his wallet!"
Posted by: Allen at Division | October 14, 2008 at 09:02 AM
"Flaming Squirrels" would be a good name for a rock band.
And a way of life.
Tree Rodents would also BAGNFARB, by the way.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 14, 2008 at 09:02 AM
Could someone buy those Florideans a pair of scissors... oh wait... you're not supposed to run with scissors, either.
Posted by: oneblankspace | October 14, 2008 at 09:59 AM
Is this Homer's Springfield?
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | October 14, 2008 at 10:08 AM
I think Mr. and Mrs. Stanifer are to blame.
Officer: "So your son has a pet rat?"
Mr and Mrs S.: "Yes"
Officer: "And you left him alone in the home, with two friends and beer?"
Mr and Mrs S.: "Yes"
Officer: "That will be all. I'll submit this report to your insurance company."
Posted by: frodolives | October 14, 2008 at 10:47 AM
A fat, 2-foot long squirrel attacked the sergeant? Did anyone even consider that maybe it wasn't really a squirrel?
Posted by: Braniff | October 14, 2008 at 11:26 AM
If you want to impress your girl, I know a squirrel call does it for me.
Posted by: Margaritaville | October 14, 2008 at 11:55 AM
"A fat, 2-foot long squirrel"? Capybara, maybe? Dachsund?...
Posted by: Allen at Division | October 14, 2008 at 01:35 PM
The squirrel "pounced on his head after he simulated a squirrel call to get its attention". So, apparently his Squirrel Phrasebook was from the same reliable publisher as Monty Python's Hungarian Phrasebook?
Posted by: Richard the Weasel-Hearted | October 14, 2008 at 01:36 PM
Unfortunately for him, he was speaking French squirrel....
"Your mother smelt of elderberries!"
Posted by: RoJo | October 14, 2008 at 02:45 PM
"I had a few beers before it happened, but nothing out of the ordinary,"
If I had a nickel for every house that I've burned down this way. I'd have jack. Viva la Beer!
Posted by: shell | October 14, 2008 at 08:41 PM