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October 23, 2008

NATURE UPDATE

Yikes.

Spider_eatingbird__625717a

(Thanks to sjhaller)

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I was just about to be the 100th person to e-mail this story to the blog I'm sure.

Another Australian wildlife update.

Holy sh!t!

Does he know, I wonder?

Yum! Tastes like flies!

Them's good eatin'!

Welcome to Dave Barry's Happy Hallowe'en Gross-Out Blog. Bring your own barf bag.

*my chair is sitting in a puddle of heeby-jeebies*

*urp*

Is there ANYTHING in Australia that's not an over achieving killer?

Yikes indeed!

This is not the sort of picture a practicing arachnophobe wants to see as she's eating her Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Warnings next time, please!

*wonders if the pool of heeby-jeebies under her chair will stain the rug*

a fine specimen...

of photoshopping skills, at least.

Suddenly, I have an urge to buy a couple cans of Raid.

Or a couple of 55-gallon drums of Raid, even.

This genus, but not this species, is common in Florida. I've never seen one eat a bird. Sometimes, I play with their minds by touching them (they are functionally blind) to see if I can fool them into thinking I am edible. Only once have I gotten one to lunge for me and she missed. The rest of the time, they ignored me or retreated.
I have only a limited supply of fear and I won't waste any being afraid of something that is harmless.

Steve's last words will be: "Hey, watch this!"

*burp*

Marg - you forgot, "hold my beer."

I think Steve's last words would be "Hold my beer while I..."

Keep in mind, Steve, that you are actually edible.

Reaction to a normal spider at my house:

Me: "EEEk...honey could you kill that spider please?"
Hubby: *rolls up newspaper and whacks the spider*

Reaction to this spider:

Me: "Holy Sh!t!!! Honey, we need to move, NOW!"
Hubby: "Get my gun"

*shudders at the thought of what kind of picture Dave will post next*

*Snork* at Aragog!

I will surely be having nightmares tonight. *shudders*

Meanwhile, in Liverpool....

And the spider thought. "Mmmm, this tastes like chicken"

Hey, Steve....pull my finger.

The great, big, honking spider climbed up the water spout.

Down came the bird to take the spider out.

Out came the fangs to stun the birdie's brain.

And the great, big, honking spider had bird for lunch again.

*Waves @ Annie!!!*

The Liverpool critter looks like something out of The Matrix.

Mrs. Layzee is terrified of spiders. One day, while she was sitting on the couch, I heard her screaming. A spider about the size of a quarter was crawling behind her. I valiantly beat it to death. Later, she told her mother about it and her response was, "I hope there's not a nest in your couch." It was months before she'd sit there again.

I'll make sure she doesn't blurk today.

*SNORK* @ Mrs. Layzee. Sounds like something I'd do!

PS

*WAVES @ Hammie!!!*

joel shakespeare continued "As my famous relative might say, 'Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when we practice on birds, but really want Steve.' "

Even grosser, er, I mean more scientific pictures may be found here.

This is exactly why I do not live in Australia

*Waves @ Diva!!!*

insom--
that was sir walter scott

Why oh why did I click on Pad's link?

Where's the brain bleach?

*puts giant bird-eating spiders on "cons" side of reasons to visit Australia*

And you wonder why Australians are drunk almost all of the time !
I'd party daily too, if I lived through half of the horrors they do.
*although SoCal DOES give them a run for their money*

Nah, now I'm just looking for excuses to party every day - never mind.

*hurries to whisk extraneous "of" from post*

NATURE UPDATE

Well, Nature must be stopped! Barack? John? Who's gonna put and end to this Nature nonsense? Hmmmmmmm!?!?!??!

And which one of you is going to yank that extra "d" from my post? Hmmmm?

I helped out a lady in Florida last month by plucking one of these spiders off her truck mirror. It had been holding on for dear life on the way to work. The spider crawled up and over the back of my hand (where the skin is tender and tasty). I let it go in a nearby bush. The spider was almost 3 inches long but she never even tried to bite me. There isn't a spider on earth that can eat a person and they don't bite if they don't have to.

Steve, maybe spiders can't eat a whole person, but don't tick them off. I had a nasty bite from one of these in August, and had the fang marks on my leg for a month to prove it!

(In Wolf Spidey's defense, I inadvertently kicked it under a table. Mean little bugger -- and fast, too!)

Now them's good eatin'!

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