CSI: FRESNO
(Thanks to DavCat and Larry Martell)
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Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
Beware the spicy sausage!
Posted by: Suzy Q | September 07, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Hmmm... Are we sure someone wasn't watching Monty Python or dabbling in psychelics? Or both?
Good morning, SuzyQ!
Posted by: ScottMGS | September 07, 2008 at 01:20 PM
Are they sure they got the right guy? It sounds like it could have been Emeril. "Now, let's just kick it up a notch".
Posted by: Wally Ballou | September 07, 2008 at 01:23 PM
Honest officer! The dog ate my weapon.
Posted by: gjd | September 07, 2008 at 01:29 PM
...psychedelics...
Posted by: ScottMGS | September 07, 2008 at 01:31 PM
Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of
"ONE of the strangest"??? I'm googling "Fresno weird crime cases" to find out what ranks up there with this one...
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 01:48 PM
This is the best I could do
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 01:57 PM
Ah, the dreaded Santaria spice and sausage curse!
Posted by: Margaritaville | September 07, 2008 at 01:57 PM
Could make for a nice gumbo, if he adds okra...
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 01:59 PM
Hey, Scott! Whassup?
Posted by: Suzy Q | September 07, 2008 at 02:07 PM
Beware the killerbasa!
I love how the weapon is described as an "8-inch sausage", as though it were the caliber of a gun.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | September 07, 2008 at 02:15 PM
"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.
And his homework.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 07, 2008 at 02:21 PM
By the way, jusi, I think you're safe from firing: standup2cancer made over $100 MILLION!
Take a bow.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 07, 2008 at 02:22 PM
"Anduoille, the people, of the United States of America..."
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 02:24 PM
Sorry, judi.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 07, 2008 at 02:26 PM
(Unless you're like a former coworker of mine, who pronounced it "And-doo-wille"... it's French, and pronounced "Und-whee")
(just for clarification)
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 02:30 PM
Meanie, if that's the diameter of the sausage it could be important. A peperoni wouldn't hurt much but a Bologna might.
Posted by: pogo | September 07, 2008 at 02:30 PM
wally - during the assault did antonio say "bam!"?
Posted by: insomniac | September 07, 2008 at 02:34 PM
Jeff, what a Freudian slip you made!
Posted by: Margaritaville | September 07, 2008 at 02:45 PM
pogo,
Stop being such a hot dog, you brat(wurst)!
Frodo
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 02:56 PM
(just waiting to see how someone can work "braunschweiger" into this thread...) should be interesting, so stay tuned!!!)
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 02:59 PM
"Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime."
In other words, it was an open and shut casing.
Posted by: SW | September 07, 2008 at 03:08 PM
*SNORKS* SW!!!!
Posted by: frodolives | September 07, 2008 at 03:16 PM
WTFBBQGoneHorriblyWrong!
Posted by: Cat R | September 07, 2008 at 03:24 PM
recipe please.
Posted by: crossgirl | September 07, 2008 at 04:25 PM
this happens to me all the time
Posted by: Jazzzz | September 07, 2008 at 04:27 PM
I'm frankfurter say, I never sausage a weapon...
Posted by: Afkat | September 07, 2008 at 04:58 PM
Wow. That's all I can say. Even with all the other weoird crimes I've seen (here, of course) this one's a ... braunsweiger....
Posted by: Kathybear | September 07, 2008 at 05:37 PM
I've seen wurst.
Posted by: Guin | September 07, 2008 at 06:45 PM
okay Guin....I swallowed my tongue on that one
Posted by: Jazzzz | September 07, 2008 at 07:05 PM
To sleep, perchance to dream,
Aye, there's the rub...
Posted by: emkay | September 07, 2008 at 07:22 PM
Maybe the thief stole from someone's barbecue first and decided that their kid brother ate it...great, isn't it?
Posted by: Tiff | September 07, 2008 at 09:28 PM
LTRTTG. Very busy, SuzyQ. Not much on-blog time. Quite a drag, I must say. Mwah!
Posted by: ScottMGS | September 07, 2008 at 10:08 PM
Serves them right for beating Rutgers 24-7.
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | September 07, 2008 at 10:12 PM
huh. so that's where the missing shipment of peyote wound up.
Posted by: cyn | September 07, 2008 at 11:07 PM
The report says money was taken, but
"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.
So, where was the stolen money kept?
Posted by: oldmanatee | September 07, 2008 at 11:29 PM
WHERE WAS THE STOLEN MONEY KEPT?
WHO CARES///
THIS IS DAVE BARRY'S WEBSITE...AREN'T WE HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIM. I'M SURE HE WOULD LIKE THAT ESPECIALLY CAUSE HE'S GETTING OLD AND HASN'T BEEN ON DAVID LETTERMAN SINCE DAVID FIGURED OUT THEY HAD THE SAME FIRST NAME. BUT REALLY LETTERMAN NEEDS TO GET OVER THAT, BECAUSE DAVE BARRY IS SUCH A WONDERFUL SINGER. I ESPECIALLY LIKE IT WHEN HE FINISHES HIS PERFORMANCE. THE QUIET IS DEAFENING.
Posted by: RC | September 08, 2008 at 12:48 AM
JUST KIDDIN' DAVE. YOU ARE A GREAT COMEDIAN. I'M LAUGHING NOW AT THAT COMMENT YOU MADE THE OTHER DAY....REALLY I AM...
Posted by: RC | September 08, 2008 at 12:57 AM
I know I am new here but WTF??
Posted by: oldmanatee | September 08, 2008 at 12:58 AM
Around here, oldmanatee, we say OMGWTFBBQ but it's the same sentiment.
Posted by: ScottMGS | September 08, 2008 at 01:05 AM
Thanks Scott....I'll try to remember that.
However, I am still confused.
Posted by: oldmanatee | September 08, 2008 at 08:42 AM
YIKES, RC!
STOP YELLING!!! I GOT A HANGOVER. Sheesh.
Posted by: Siouxie | September 08, 2008 at 09:45 AM
Fresno police founda a note next to the victim stating, "Next time, not so much barbecue rub in my Bacon Bloody Mary!!!"
Posted by: tonymus | September 08, 2008 at 10:52 AM
Hey Frodo, Dinosaur Sculpture and the Cliff Finches WBAGNFARB.
Posted by: Matt | September 08, 2008 at 12:05 PM
*snork* @ Jazzz. Couldn't believe no one had posted that before me.
Posted by: Guin | September 08, 2008 at 06:38 PM
Farmworkers... It's what's for dinner...
Posted by: eilbeback | September 08, 2008 at 07:36 PM
I think this is hilarious. I wrote a blurb about it on my blog and I linked back to you guys!
http://inevermetaburritoididntlike.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Alicia | September 09, 2008 at 02:28 PM