CONVENTION UPDATE

This guy is probably correct.

Not far away from the you're-going-to-hell man, I ran into my favorite long-term presidential candidate, Vermin Supreme, who brought along his wife, Becky Supreme.

I've known Vermin for years. Here we are in New Hampshire during the primaries this year, and in Boston at the 2004 Democratic convention.

Comments

[igloo]

I had an x-tra large vermin supreme earlier this evening. Delivery-not Digonio.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Dad?
Hi, Vermin!

[WriterDude]

I may have eaten one of his relatives for lunch today. Does he have a brother named Burrito?

[WriterDude]

Oops -- I mean, did he?

[igloo]

Writer Dude;
Burrito is still alive. However, his sister, Burrita is no longer with us.
Ergo: You did not eat Burrito...

[Kathybear]

Much better looking without the boot on his head - or is that a boot on his head?

[WriterDude]

igloo, that's gonna take us somewhere I am not prepared to go with my wife in the room.

Off to take The Dude to his guitar lesson, folks. L8ers!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Well, they're pretty close to Canada, so maybe he's all aboooot changing his boots.

[CJrun]

There are some people that have more time, than the rest of us. That guy with the painted bedsheet, for example.

My days just don't have that extra, bed-sheet-painting time. There is Pointy Ball to be watched (go Jags!). There are lawns to be mowed!

Meanwhile, yeah, Dave was at Jasperwood. I'm jealous.

[hugh morgenstein]

you are another NOBAMA KOOL-AID drinker. barack HUSSEIN obama is a total loser

[igloo]

Hey, who's tending bar? I need another Kool-Aid.

[frodolives]

Dude,

Not "Burrito," it's "borracho"

jus' sayin'...

[Annie Where-but-here]

My spider malt liquor senses tell me Jasperwood has beer.

[Siouxie]

Loser!!!Hugh!

Vermin!!

[frodolives]

igloo,

That wasn't the purple Kool-Aid, was it?

[igloo]

Frodolives,
The Kool-Aid was such a purple, that Barney wept!

[CJrun]

hugh, you stumbled across the wrong Blog. I'm the unhinged conservative around here and Sio just whacked you with a machete.

[gjd]

Going-to-Hell-Man needs to learn to be more specific. Can he at least let us know WHY we are going to hell? (Checked the verses and they just talk about hell, not why we're getting our tickets to the handbasket.)

[Suzy Q]

gjd: I need no further explication as to why I'm going to hell. It'll all be in my memoirs.

[gjd]

*recommends Suzy Q's memoirs as the next book club book*

[Siouxie]

We're all going to hell.

Well duh

I've had my handbasket ready for years

[Meanie the Blue]

Well, of course I'm going to Hell. I always do what my wife tells me.

[CJrun]

I'm just sad. (edit)

[crossgirl]

*sigh*

that's kool aid we're supposed to be drinking, cj. put down the beer.

carefully makes note to remember to vote for vermin supreme come november.

[Elon Weintraub]

"carefully makes note to remember to vote for vermin supreme come november."

Traitor!! Dave is twice the man Vermin will ever be.

[Afkat]

*snif*

I really miss the Rhinoceros Party of Canada...they were a registered political party here in Canada and fielded candidates in several federal elections. Apart from their main platform (described as being three feet high and made of wood), other notable planks in their platform were as follows:

• Repealing the law of gravity
• Paving Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot
• Providing higher education by building taller schools
• Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages
• Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset
• Making Montreal the Venice of North America by damming the St. Lawrence River[11]
• Abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space[7]
• Annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources[12]
• Ending crime by abolishing all laws[13]
• Paving the Bay of Fundy to create more parking in the Maritimes[7]
• Turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley[7]
• Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last
• Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California[10][12]
• Putting the national debt on Visa[14]
• Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons[15]
• Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this)[15]
• Painting Canada's coastal sea limits in watercolour so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times[11]
• Banning guns and butter, since both kill[11]
• Banning lousy Canadian winters[7]
• Renaming the country Nantucket[7]
• Building a bridge spanning the country, from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland.[16]
• Making the Trans-Canada Highway one way only.
• Changing Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will.[18]
• Donate a free rhinoceros to every aspiring artist in Canada[12]

[crossgirl]

Traitor!! Dave is twice the man Vermin will ever be.

Posted by: Elon Weintraub | 09:34 PM on September 3, 2008

ooooops. was i typing out loud again? here, have some more kool aid.

[CJrun]

edited

[Margaritaville]

All that matters you are all for headed hell? Hookay.

[Afkat]

CJrun

/humour off

edited at Afkat's request. will restore any of the edited posts at the request of the poster.

/Humour on

[Lairbo]

Sounds like you'll all want to pick up a copy of my new book "What Color is Your Handbasket? The Guidebook to the Road to Hell".

It'll be available just as soon as I write it and get published and stuff.

Book tour dates to be announced.

[Suzy Q]

Back off, Lairbo! My book, "The Idiot's Guide to Hell" is coming out first.

[Margaritaville]

Well, we all knew CJrun was kidding, Afkat, didn't we, heh? We're always joking of things of that nature, always with the kidding!

[Siouxie]

Suz, I've already written "Handbaskets for Dummies" which would be a great companion to your book.

[Lairbo]

Is there a Zagat's Guide to Hell? Michelin?

[baligurl]

Glad I'm almost finished with my new book, "Siouxie, Save Me a Seat".

[Annie Where-but-here]

You have to admit, though, "Pootin" is a funny name.

*crickets*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Not that we would ever make fun of anyone's name. Not on this blog.

[Annie Where-but-here]

If I write 'Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian's Soul', may I have a seat in the handbasket?

[Lairbo]

Annie: I call dibs on the sequel "Vegan at Bernies."

[Lairbo]

Tosses an apostrophe up to last post and calls it a night.

[WriterDude]

Annie -- excellent idea. I'll save you a seat by the fire.

CJ -- what Afkat said. You're a vital national resource of late-night rants and football analysis, and you're needed here. We'll just take up a collection or something.

To all -- I don't think the GOPers can play the "rock star" card on Obama much after tonight. Sarah Palin just emerged as one herself.

[Siouxie]

*zaps in*

WTG Sarah!!!

*snork* @ bali and yes I am saving you a seat! You too, Annie ;-P

[baligurl]

Dang, I am so blonde. I cruised the posts to see what Sarah had written.

Is crossgirl comin' with? If so, seat me by her, I'll bring the beer.

[Cat R]

Obama gal here, but I must admit that Sarah Palin rocked her convention.

I laughed out loud at the youngest Palin daughter slathering spit all over her baby brother's head. She was beyond adorable.

[Siouxie]

LMAO bali.

We'll all be there, girl! Hell Blog Hunt Party!

[Siouxie]

I agree, Cat. Regardless of your party. This woman rocked tonight. As a woman and a conservative, I am proud. That little girl was precious LOL.

*waves machete* and off to bed ;-)

[Wes S.]

Just watched Sarah Palin's acceptance speech. First impressions:

Wow. Home run.

Between Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Palin, they couldn't have done a better job carving up Obama if they'd used chainsaws.

I haven't seen so much blood on the floor since I watched Saw.

And Bristol looked almost as calm and poised as her mother, which is remarkable given all the crap that's been thrown at her this past week. Her fiance looked like a deer in the headlights, though. Can't blame him, really. Probably looked the same way when he had to tell Bristol's parents the good news.

If this is typical of Palin...Joe Biden had better watch out when the debates roll around.

[MartiniShark]

Vermin Supreme?!?! No way!! I'm through with tired old political minds. We need new blood.

And CJ, I got your back. Putin doesn't scare me. We handled their commie hinders in Lake Placid, 1980, can do it again.

[Renee (the First)]

Sarah ROCKS!!

[fivver]

Wes, how would you like to tell a woman who likes to get up at 4am to shoot things that you'd just knocked up her daughter? Moose in the headlights.

The younger daughter was so cute! When she was on the stage she really seemed to be checking things out and liking what she saw. Maybe in 2048...

[Cat R]

Too cute.

[Wes S.]

Fivver, my point exactly. Poor kid. But Levi still had the guts to do the right thing, regardless. He stood by Bristol then...and tonight.

And yes, the youngest daughter was precious.

And that line about Obama authoring two memoirs but not a single piece of legislation or reform...ouch.

[Wes S.]

Looks like the PUMAs loved the speech, too:

http://www.hillaryclintonforum.net/discussion/showthread.php?t=27423

That link also has a hilarious graphic from CNN towards the end of the thread: "McCain Wins DEMOCRATIC Nomination."

SNORK! Although judging from the Hillary site...

[judi]

cj, lemme know if you want me to delete anything.

as for palin, wow, you people scare the crap outta me. funny, sure, cute kids, sure, but vice president? omg.

[baligurl]

I really hate politics. I love funny. This sux.

[Afkat]

judi:

(edited by request, but i just can't delete the ENTIRE post)

Oh and by the way, you are both smart AND hot...

[judi]

you just have to recognize that it's all hilarious, bali.

[baligurl]

If it was hilarious, I'd be laughing, right?

[Renee (the First)]

Conservatives of Dave Barry's Blog: Proudly scaring Judi since 2008.

(We kid because we love, Judi. ;-) )

[baligurl]

I didn't mean that to sound bitchy, I promise. I just really hate politics.

[judi]

edited a few posts but saved it all so i can put it back if anyone objects. didn't want to wait for a response cause i actually want to go to bed. so goodnight all, and have a lovely night... email me if you need to do anything else (in the morning!).

[Afkat]

Ahhh judi...you lived up to my expectations....LOL (I just knew you couldn't erase the last sentence) :).

Next time I'm in Miami on biz, if you are agreeable, I'll buy you the best lunch in town.

Dave isn't invited...he can afford his own.

[Cat R]

*snork* at judi's editing at 12:40

One last chuckle for Palin's "Styrofoam Greek columns" zinger...

OK, that's it for me -- I am clearly overtired if the Republicans can make me laugh twice in one day, and with nary a wide stance in sight.

Off to bed -- nite, folks!

[emkay]

I think I'm glad that I got here after Judi's edits. I get all my political commentary from Dave and John Stewart and try to avoid political conversations (Although I have very strong opinions and am very active). Otherwise I get way too upset and start taking it personally. I get so tired of all the labels and "talking points". Whatever happened to respectfully listening to each other and trying to find some common ground?

Back to the humor at hand - If I'm already going to Hades, can I eat all the chocolate without saving any for my husband or children? I mean, if I'm d@mned anyway, I might as well be totally selfish and score all the Scharfenberger and the Dagoba, right?

Judi rocks. I would give her all my chocolate any time.

[emkay]

Oh the Republicans hate the Democrats,
and the Democrats hate the Republicans.
And the Green Party hates the Libertarians
And everyone hates the Independents (just kidding!).

But during Political Convention Week,
Political Convention Week,
Joe Leiberman and Sarah Palin
Are dancing cheek to cheek
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you can win their vote

[emkay]

echo...echo...echo...

*Turns on the blog nightlight and trudges off to bed to snuggle with husband and large, snoring dogs.*

[djtonyb]

*begins weaving a much larger handbasket, seeing as there's going to be a lot of company for the ride*

[queensbee]

shout out to emkay for the riff on tom lehrer. the repukes have the right to strutt their stuff, even if its wrong.

[Meanie the Blue]

Man! Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

[Erb's point]

If we are all going to hell, the dems will have the most fun but the reps will get us there faster.

I see it as win-win for everyone.

[Guin]

Emkay - shades of Phil Ochs. :)

[Mark]

Vermin Supreme... isn't he a Transformer?

[Siouxie]

Good morning ;-)

One question remains to be answered:

Where are Becky Supreme's hands?? hmmm???

[Meanie the Blue]

Duh! They're in the handbasket.

[padraig]

Nice one MK, but if you parody Tom Lehrer, what do you call it?

And everyone, please keep deriding the "going to Hell" bozo. Saw him live once at a post-9/11 rally that was meant to build unity and restore good feelings. You can imagine how he went over. If you see him live, do the world a favor and laugh in his face. Maybe give him a decorative handbasket?

[WHITEschnauzer]

Hang in there CJ, you have support!!!

Guys, chill, it's all going to be okay!

Yay Conservatives! Yay judi! Palin Rocks, but so do you!

"woof woof."

[Recovering 24 Addict]

Well if the people who protest at funerals for fallen soliders are in heaven then I will gladly take hell.

[azred]

(LTTG as always) Recovering 24 Addict: those people are going to their own special little limbo - cold french fries, warm beer, and not much else. evil earns itself more evil. (I ride with Patriot Guard Riders.)

[Wes S.]

Azred -- Punch one of 'em for me.

[Recovering 24 Addict]

Azred you and your friends are doing this country a great service and I thank you.