ADVISORY TO MEN IN GENERAL
(Thanks to DavCat)
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September 24, 2008
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"The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong. The officer also remarked that his own fartage always smelled like lavender. That is the control he used to determine this."
Posted by: Margaritaville | September 24, 2008 at 11:27 AM
Battery? Yikes! Will that stand up in court? Sounds like his pants might at least.
Posted by: ubetcha | September 24, 2008 at 11:30 AM
Foist!
Posted by: Holland Daze | September 24, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Not foist.
Posted by: Holland Daze | September 24, 2008 at 11:32 AM
Your honor, I object. A battery is an "un-permitted touching". My client did not touch the officer.
Posted by: pogo | September 24, 2008 at 11:32 AM
yuck! beer f*rts! bleah.
Posted by: queensbee | September 24, 2008 at 11:33 AM
FIRST to say I a NOT related to this man.
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 11:34 AM
um...mebbe not.
*adds m up there*
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Now he was being finger printed at the time and my guess is the officer pulled his finger. NOT GUILTY!!!
Posted by: Recovering 24 Addict | September 24, 2008 at 11:38 AM
Ass-ault with a silent butt deadly weapon?
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | September 24, 2008 at 11:39 AM
Wouldn't that be more of an air pollution related offense as opposed to battery?
(Goes to check law books in my library. Remembers I don't have a library)
Posted by: clark Kent | September 24, 2008 at 11:43 AM
*snork at R2A*
*checks out mug shot. Nope, not mud. Whew!*
And...WHEW!
Posted by: Cat R | September 24, 2008 at 11:46 AM
Can you make a citizen's arrest for that?
Posted by: Margaritaville | September 24, 2008 at 11:49 AM
OT
Um, not to change the subject or anything, but doesn't somebody have to get ready for work?
/OT
Posted by: Cat R | September 24, 2008 at 11:54 AM
LOL ExAddict!
(psssst Cat?? I've got my camera ready)
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Oooh, Siouxie, good job!
Posted by: Cat R | September 24, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Was he advised of his right to remain silent?
I wonder if he'll get the gas chamber.
Posted by: SW | September 24, 2008 at 12:05 PM
I'll take "Potent Pootables" for $200, Alex.
Posted by: SW | September 24, 2008 at 12:11 PM
How do you plead?
Guilty with an effluviation.
Posted by: SW | September 24, 2008 at 12:14 PM
Dave's worst nightmare...
Posted by: Steve Haller | September 24, 2008 at 12:14 PM
Ass-salt with intent to smell is a mist-demeanor.
I hope he eats lots of beans the night before his next court appearance. See how funny the judge finds it.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 24, 2008 at 12:22 PM
That just stinks.
Posted by: oneblankspace | September 24, 2008 at 12:25 PM
What a flatulating story.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | September 24, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Steve, don't let that out!
Posted by: Cat R | September 24, 2008 at 12:30 PM
What the story doesn't say is that the cop's father was a hamster and his mother smelt of elderberries. Charges were pressed before the cop could be taunted a second time.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | September 24, 2008 at 12:32 PM
Did they call this wind "Maria"?
Posted by: Lairbo | September 24, 2008 at 12:38 PM
"Pariah"?
Posted by: Cat R | September 24, 2008 at 12:39 PM
So...I guess he farted in the cop's general direction?
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 12:42 PM
Bravely bold Jose Cruz rode forth from Charleston.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Jose.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Bravely, bravely, farted brave Sir Jose!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Jose!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--
Posted by: Sir Not Appearing in this Blog | September 24, 2008 at 01:01 PM
"I think that's enough singing,lads..."
*snork*
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 01:03 PM
Sounds like someone needs a good butt stapling.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 24, 2008 at 01:03 PM
*scatters Snorks across the comments, says "excuse me"*
Posted by: CJrun | September 24, 2008 at 01:26 PM
I'm sorry to hear Whole Foods doesn't offer plastic bags. This could be a problem...
Posted by: Steve Haller | September 24, 2008 at 01:42 PM
That article said somethin' about "obstruction" ...
Whut I'm wonderin' is ... if he had an obstruction ... how could he ... um ...
OH? Really?
Nevermind ...
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | September 24, 2008 at 01:44 PM
Oh great. Not only is Big Brother watching us, but he's smelling us, too.
BTW, can anyone tell me where does the charge of obstruction came from?
Posted by: Dr. Bob | September 24, 2008 at 02:10 PM
I meant 'come from'.
Posted by: Dr. Bob | September 24, 2008 at 02:12 PM
From the comments:
I guarantee they will use this story as the basis for an episode of "Law & Odor"
heh.
Posted by: Modgi | September 24, 2008 at 02:27 PM
Did the cop capture any evidence?
Posted by: Olo Baggins of Bywater | September 24, 2008 at 02:28 PM
"Of course I farted. You don't think I smell like this all the time, do you?"
Posted by: Emmett Flatus | September 24, 2008 at 02:50 PM
I smell a rat...or a gerbil led horribly astray.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 24, 2008 at 03:06 PM
When do we get our first pictures of The Blog at work?
Posted by: Steve Haller | September 24, 2008 at 03:18 PM
Steve, I send judi the photos. So....soon??
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 03:46 PM
And I SENT them too ...sheesh.
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 03:46 PM
Steve?? (if you want to see them before, drop me a line and I'll email you the link)
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2008 at 03:49 PM
Oh, I think I can wait and see the grand presentation, which now that I think of it would make for a really cool caption contest (you with me, judi?) -- Butt, if she does something mischievous like Photoshopping Barry Manilow's head on Dave's body, I'm outta here...
Posted by: Steve Haller | September 24, 2008 at 03:54 PM
Your honor, I object. A battery is an "un-permitted touching". My client did not touch the officer.
Posted by: pogo | 11:32 AM
Absolutely correct, pogo. So they'll never make these charges stick... thinks about how that last sentence sounds... guys don't say "eeewwwww!," but in this case, I'm making an exception... eeewwwww!
Posted by: frodolives | September 24, 2008 at 08:55 PM