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August 18, 2008


Turn off the TV.  Read this.


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To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida, " you live in a low-lying area.

Excellent advice, Dave. I know I'm going to evacuate Florida.

Or I would if I lived there.

"Additional Note: This is one of the columns that has been sent out in email, changed (particularly the state name), and reposted without attribution in a number of places. If you were so inclined, you might direct those folks to this page."

Are you saying I can't just change "Florida" to "Michigan" and "hurricane" to "tornado" and send it in to the Detroit News? What kind of journalism is that??

Crap. I forgot the spam.


wow, you really read ALL THE WAY TO THE END, don't ya steve? lol

I am so glad I live in Nebraska.


I am a Nigerian accountant holding USD 12.5 bazillion in trust for you. Simply put down the machete and return to me your bank information and $269 in processing fees...

Wait, what kind of spam did you want again?...

So, everyone issued a Florida driver's license by this blog has to evacuate? Harsh.

A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

Can we get pictures of The Blog Family with their knives? Mayby Walter?

throws a couple of extra bottles of wine in the pool.

except for some minor snowstorms, and really snarky politicians, new yawk state is nice and doesnt have hurricanes too much. and our kids dont start school until after labor day.

(snort) that ain't a knife...

Now this -- this is a knife...

I miss Florida. My hospital was the local evacuation site for hurricanes. Everone else would be hiding in the basement. I got to clock-in and get overtime!

What happened to the new post? It was up there for a couple of minutes and then disappeared.

\Was it Fay?

??judi, you're s'posed to be busy watching that Craig Ferguson download back on the last thread...

OK, it's back.

Thanks, Fay.

*dives into cg's pool to retrieve wine bottles*

Allen, not THAT kind.

Steve, you play ME so well!

In case you want a second opinion:

from Gizmodo 2004

We went through Andrew (just farther north, in Coral Springs), and I agree with everything Dave said.

We never figured out what the bleach was for either, although I did discover it's important to put jugs of that stuff into a box, and not just set them down on the carpet of the trunk.


(Who lives in the outskirts of the hurricane zone, namely Illinois, which is nearly the same as Nebraska, only up and down, instead of sideways... and with kookier politicians).

Sioux, never fear. I have in my possession a can of Spam. I might be 10 or 12 years old (aged to perfection!), but it's yours for the right price. I'm thinking I could let it go for US 12.5 bazillion.

Uh, Suzy, I certainly hope you meant to say "It might be 10 or 12 years old..." or Dave may be in trouble for posting this...

Well my kid is tended to and I'm heading back on the road. I'll leave the panicing to you experienced folks. Maybe I'll get a partial day out of this.


Fay's got me all addled.

Don't get too wet, Sharkie

Water, water everywhere...

mshark has the most important emergency services job, making sure the beer gets through!

Neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor gloom of night shall stay this courier from the swift completion of his appointed rounds...

PLEASE SEND RAIN TO CENTRAL TEXAS! The weather radar lies! It may be overcast but it hasn't rained in a few months. The ground is cracking so badly that it cracking the roads and a lady told me she had to put one of her cows down because it stepped in a large crack and broke its leg. Please, please send the rain this a way!

OK, now that's just weird, it's sprinkling now. THANK YOU OH MIGHTY AND POWERFUL BLOG!

Here in the Midwest we laugh at those crazy Floridians who insist on living in hurricane territory, as we hide in the basement from tornadoes and severe thunderstorms. A few years ago I bought a generator against the next time my power went out so I could run televisions and refrigerators. The generator is a great storm repellent: I haven't lost power since I bought it. It has turned out to be useful, however, as my brother-in-law borrows it twice a year to power his salt water fish tank when they lose power at their house.

Weather Update:

YIPES!!! Now they're using words like tornadic.

Should I be packing up and swimming to Nebraska?

*snork* @ some poor female reporter that's getting soaked whilst trying to report the latest breaking news update: "It's really really coming down hard!"

you're watching Channel 7 too, susy?

LMAO yes, judi. Aren't they the best when reporting any disaster? They remind me of those reporters from Dave's book (Tricky Business).

I have to admit that at times like these I strangely miss living in FLA. There is such a sense of community, adult beverages, lots of laffs to be had. I'll never forget one of the many storms during 2004 where a reporter had his wind gauge out at the Wal Mart in Seffner! Well, at least we knew the wind speed in the Wal Mart parking lot!

Hammie, either I misunderstood or you claim to have had basements in a hospital in Florida? How'zat? I thought a basement in Florida was a well.


"We're beginning to see signs of some damage"

*camera close up of downed palm tree leaves*

Awwww...they've got this guy releasing some baby turtlettes to the sea. To save their lives. Just when a hurricane is coming. WTF?

whoooooosh just saw a wave swallow 'em.

Is there a guy just off-camera making whooshing sounds into the microphone?

Siouxie, I haven't been in FL for more than 10 years, and when I read Tricky Business a year or so ago, I knew EXACTLY which news station they were talking about. Nice to see things are still the same down there.

"Coming up at 11pm - The common dinner food that can kill you!"

Loved the book, never lived in the setting....

Siouxie, I fear before this is over they'll be capturing and re-releasing the same turtlettes several times. We may see an update from Dave showing Walter being pelted by turtles falling from the sky...

Channel 7 News Update:

Apparently, they've run out of ways to say that it's #1 rainy and
#2 windy

The weather reporter just showed a dog, named Mickey who is (ISIANMTU), the "Honorary Mayor" of some beach city.

So yes, Steve (24) things have not changed much as far as their reporting.

Steve, I'm waiting for the follow up story of the poor little turtles sticking out of the sand.

Allen, yes. They have a whoooosh guy for special effects. ;-P

Last I heard it was going to bypass Miami and follow the western coastline. I hope it doesn't veer inland, as my folks live in Bradenton...

That's close to where my oldest is, Steve. She's in Sarasota and she's gonna hunker down with the bf cuz the school will be closed tomorrow. They've pushed orientation/check in till thursday so now I don't have to drive up till then. Whew!

On the up side, if it hits near Sanibel, that's when the really rare deep sea shells can be picked up off the shore. Of course you have to gingerly step over the dead tourists and beached fish, but hey, no one said life was easy...

Made it home! I had a harrowing time of it in the elemenets but good news:
1) I made it to the the appointed location to meet with coworkers and hammer out an emergency plan over a few pitchers. Free nachos with each order.
2)As we prepared to disembark we all received radio comminiques that business day would end early due to weather conditions.
3)With this news we ordered more pitchers to decide on our next course of action.
4)It was decided that if we did not decide on something right away we could make it to the deadline.
5) Ordered more pitchers, and then faced the paradox that we drank faster than we could eat the nachos. A committee of 5 could not determine how many nacho platters we still were owed. As we tabulated we ordered more pitchers.
6) We were then informed we had to get work trucks off the road for safety reasons. Only ordered one more pitcher.
These hurricanes are utter hell.

I think they jipped you at LEAST two nacho platters.

Yea, but I feel good enough not to care. Bring on this hurric...ZZZzzzzz

::still drying off from afternoon shower and ticked off re: house keeper tossing perfectly good bar of soap out, causing me to exit shower, drip water all over clean floor, scramble through bathroom cupboard to get new bar out:::

Glad that is over. I live in Panama City Beach and this thing "Fay" is supposed to dump a max 12" of rain here. I backwashed my pool to avoid overflow, secured my patio furniture, went to the store for bread and cigarettes, :::see's peanut butter sandwiches in future meal planning:::: OHHHH, sh*t!!! I forgot the BEER!@#$%^$#@#%^&&




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