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August 26, 2008

CONVENTION UPDATE

It's a rainforest out there.

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FIRST to say: YAY! a new column!!!

now to go read.

Wait, Lewis & Clark had mold? Did it grow on the north side of the trees?

wondering why dave is exploring lewis and clark's mold....this calls for further reading.

Yay, Siouxie got posted! Even though I sent this in as well. It's ok - I, too, am for change.

It goes without saying that

annie, i think the mold grew on the north side of their cattle.

Annie? They had mold and B.O.

YAY! for making the brave journey and getting back safely, Dave.

I, too, am for change. Although I actually prefer small, unmarked bills. Gold, diamonds, and negotiable securities are also well thought of.

Keep the change. Gimme plastic. Lots of it.

I am so happy with all the columns Dave's gifting us with! This is the best August...well, this year!

Those were consenting buttocks.

Psychic simular simul with crossgirl...whoa...

"direct buttular contact" WBAGNFA Larry Craig ringt0ne.

I, too, am for change...of Tancredo's diaper. I think it's Writerdude's turn to change it.

So I guess the surge is working after all?

Hey Dave - if you'll go directly to the Twin Cities, maybe the rest of us won't have to hunker.

Hickenlooper, Hickenlooper, sis boom bah!
Decaf, decaf, rah, rah, rah!

naptime!

And what pray tell does Biden have against turkeys?

And maybe we should re-elect Grover Cleveland... alive or dead.

clark, I don't know but I'm not surprised he went for the pork ;-P

*takes Annie's coffee away*

I don't think this is decaf.

it's snot coffee either. Hic! Spike Lee gave it to me.

"Pulled pork." Hmmmm...always thought that was a Repooplican dish.

Pine Needles and Squirrel Jerky are performing at the after-party tonight, Dave, so stay awake!

Repooplican or Democrap - it's good stuff! Now I'm getting hungry, Annie.

*would love to stay here and chew the fat butt...work's done*

Laters

john jacob hickenlooper smith...

Dave,

I was holding my breath the entire story. Do you think the DNC convention could be the setting of your next family friendly fantasy novel?

Maybe Dave can come here to Scranton with the other half of the press world and interview the lady who now lives in the house where Biden grew up. Sheesh, they've been here all week.

And if I hear, "the scrappy guy from Scranton" one more time I'll...

I volunteered at the Richard Nixon funeral, and was assigned to restrict access to the VIP bathrooms. Wolf Blitzer showed up, all 5'7" of him, but since he didn't have a VIP badge, I pointed him to the porta-potties set up outside the secure perimeter. Sucked to be him that afternoon. And my buddy who worked with me got to take a leak with Presidential advisor David Gergen.

Whew! I just checked and Hickenlooper went to Wesleyan, not Yale...so he isn't a Whippenpoof.

NNTIAWWT

Layzee - are you sure they're saying 'scrappy'?

Dave: I've heard that the female Democratic delegates face north. Is that true?

OT

Have you guys read the interview with the kitesurfer who ate the building during Fay? Idiot.

/OT

CJ - however, he did participate in the poultry rodeo, in the rooster-ropin', so Hickenlooper is a chicken-looper.

bali- maybe they should spell it Fey, which means doomed or crazy.

Pooh. Those dorky cool sunglasses woulda made a great prize in the next caption contest...

"I didn't ecpect it", and "I'll be out there the next time." I hate when Darwin gets cheated the first time.

*tosses up "x", snatches down "c"*

Layzee, Hickenlooper is from PA, so if he runs for higher office he can be the scrappy chicken-looper from Narberth.

(I think I just channeled 'rascal)

*sends CJ some ice for his forehead*

So this explains why Dave and Chuck are going to Massachuests after the covention.

Annie, as he's not the representative from my species district, I'll pass.

If you get laid in Denver do you qualify for the mile high club?

If you get laid in Denver, do you qualify for the mile high club?

Double trouble

Writerdude, for a moment I thought you were referring to lil rascal.

(private note to WD - thanks for your kind words on my blog - that particular post is being published - your check is in the mail COD.)

Mot I am not sure but I am willing to find out WHOSE WITH ME???

listen dudes and dudettes, i'm sorry i haven't been blogging more stuff but my access to herald email is corr-UP-ted so i can't see what you've been sending in. so sorry!!

Yes, Mot, plus they get t-shirts that say "I got screwed at the DNC" and the back has a pic of Hillary.

judi, that's awful! I blame Tancredo.

*smacks CJ* Now be quiet or you'll wake McCain.

Gee, judi, and here I thought you didn't love me no more ... :)

Annie, my pleasure. I'll settle for a writer's copy of the publication if paper is involved, or a link if it isn't. Unless the check has a comma on it.

judi, if you're still getting stiffed by the gateway and if it helps, I sent in this idiotic story.

HEYYYYYYYYYYY WD!! no cheating!!!

Gee, judi, and here I thought you didn't love Steve no more...;-P

heh! WD said judi's getting a stiffy.

pass it on

heh! WD said judi's getting a stiffy.

pass it on

That explains why judi didn't use my Chutzpah Story of the Year.

The guy should be strung up by his bentley (small 'b' because I'm sure it is).

a twofer even.

bet she loves me more than rascal does...

Yikes - chaos rules as bloggers run amok - posting stories hither and yon!
*ducks Yon, smacks Hither*

Oh, and judi got a twofer!

Jeff and WD are cheatin', judi's in a 3-way, Annie smacked me...BlogBar's Open!

acccccck a blog full of trolls (which, coinkidentally , wbagnfarb)

stops by to return *smooch* to the lovely Siouxie.....Hey Darlin'.....

Cheating? This from the woman who stole Clair Martin's crown? ;-)

Ooops....back under the bridge with you guys. Once you're done playin' with judi, anyway.

Ooooh, cabana boy, a delectable Democratic Coors, please!

*tosses an 'e' back into Claire's name*

WD, I stoled it fair and square! ;-P

Heyyyyyyyyy Jazzzzzzie!!!!

Annie, all outta beer, want some wine??

Lovely pic as usual, Sioux. The top isn't the only thing that needs to be twisted off.

btw, Steve? I think rascal's got a crush on you (nttawwt)

I have plenty of beer now... life is good.

Some things should NOT change.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Coors, right?"

(Heeyyy, wait a minute in 3, 2, 1...)

Siouxie, I noticed that, too. Steve has quite the following of little people. It's like Oz or something.

*sings to himself, "We're off to take a wizzer..."*

Gee, thanks, Annie.

I had to wait 20 minutes for a Coors from CJ. Durn cabana boys sure are slow around here. Guess all the good ones are at the DNC.

Or like he's Willy Wonka. I can see rascal as an oompa loompa

Judging by your pic with the towel Annie, better make that a Coors Light.

Definitely, Siouxie.
ftr, Martinishark, it is a Coors Light. As for the rest, I think you know better than that.

No, can't say as I ever watched Oz. Now The Shield, on the other hand...

There are oompah loompahs on the Shield? Wow, guess I missed a lot of stellar television.

Wyo walked into a bar, wearing a kilt, and the bartender said, "Scotch?"

when I walked into a bar, I said, "ouch."

I walked in with a priest, a nun and a bear... the bartender said, "what is this, some kinda joke?"

so we've adequately demonstrated how to kill a thread.

Whoa! I take a little time to grill some lovely steaks and asparagus, sit down to nosh, and find I've missed a 3-way! With judi, no less! I hate when that happens.

Steak's tasty, tho.

I impecunious priest wandered about then walked into a bear and said, "Only you could stop the poorest friar"!

*sigh*

Beer, Wyo? I know I need another.

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "the usual?"

"I think not." Descartes replies, and then disappears.

I walked into a bar with a sign that said, "Drinks served anytime", so I asked for a martini during prohibition.

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and squares up to the barman. "I'll have a whisky and coke ............ and some peanuts" said the Polar Bear, in a gruff voice.
To which the bartender replied, "Why the big paws?"

Hitler walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the strong race"?

CJ, you're pushin' it, buddy.

or is it stretchin' it? I can never remember.

Hey, folks, I forgot about a really spot on video highlighting Denver, but I just posted it on my blog.

Yes, we're all just like that.

Wounded doggie limps into a bar and says, "I'm here for the man who shot my paw."

*Flaps in for a moment*

A pony walks into a bar and orders a drink, but the bartender can't hear him. He says, "Speak up, buddy, or move along." The pony again orders a drink, and again the bartender can't hear him. Getting irritated, the bartender shouts, "Speak up or get out!" The pony says "Sorry, I'm a little horse."

Barkeep, may I have a blogarita, please?

we're gonna need more beer.

20 lemmings walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Blogarita and More Beer comin' up!

I walked into a bar with a cow serving drinks. He gave me one that knocked me on my ass, so I tipped him.

Thanks, bali!

A guy carrying a box walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "If I show you something amazing, will you give me a free beer?" The bartender says ok, so the guy opens his box, and inside there's a little man playing a piano. The bartender hands the guy a beer and says, "Wow, where did you get that?" The guy reaches into his pocket and says, "I found this lamp and rubbed it, and a genie gave it to me." The bartender says, "Dude, can I try it?" The guy says yes, and the bartender rubs the lamp. The genie pops out and grants him a wish, so the bartender says "I wish for a million bucks." Immediately, a million ducks appear in the bar, and through the ducks, the bartender says, "You didn't tell me this genie was hard of hearing!" The guy takes a sip of his beer and says, "Yeah, well, I didn't wish for a ten-inch pianist either."

Welcome, Duckness!

This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"

Yikes - the jokes are flyin' in here -
Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Where's the bar tender at?"

So, this skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop."

Evenin' Annie!

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