UPDATE FROM COSTA RICA

We went zip-lining, which is a sport where the object is to look like the world's biggest dork. I was very good at it.

After you get dorked up, you climb up to a platform in a tree and are hung from a cable by a cheerful guide, who sends you hurtling across the rainforest canopy, which is sometimes a looooooonnnnnnng way below. Theoretically you are admiring nature as you do this, but really you are just trying not to wet your cargo shorts. When you reach the next platform, another cheerful guide attaches you to another zip-line, and off you go again.

To do this, all we had to do was show up. If you wanted to zip-line in the United States, you would have to first spend about six hours signing lawyer-excreted waivers, then undergo extensive safety training, then wake up from your dream, because you will never be able to zip-line in the United States. Which is too bad, because it's actually fun, once you gain control of your sphincter.

While hiking up to the first platform, we encountered a poison dart frog, which we were told gets its name because the natives used to put its venom on the tips of their darts. At great personal risk, I was able to take this picture:

We also saw a pile of poop that the guide told us was from a howler monkey. But I think it might actually have been from one of the more fearful zip-liners.

Last night we ate at a restaurant with a large plane in it. We don't know how the plane got there, and we don't want to know.

Comments

[Kathybear]

Wow! I can't go zip-lining, fer sure. Sounds like an interesting time. Is that an American plane or one of those that crashes in foreign countries all the time?

[ubetcha]

Dave's Great Adventure! A feel a book in the offing . . .

[Siouxie]

Dave?? is it cold in Costa Rica or is your shirt a bit too tight?

That plane is actually your ride back home.

[ArcticAl]

Obviously it's just a very low hanger Dave.

[Lairbo]

Did you have to wait several hours to get a table, while they kept announcing that your table would be ready in just a few minutes, and then, when you finished eating, did you have to put your table back in an upright and locked position?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Excellent dork look, Dave!

NTTAWWT

And the frog was extremely colorful.

Could you bring enough back home to share out on the blog?

[christine]

I suspect that the plane didn't get into the restaurant, but that the restaurant was built around the plane.

[Layzeeboy]

Dave, is that a picture of you or is it the cable guy who finally showed up at your house?

Al,low hangers are very common in hot climates IYKWIM.

[Meanie the Blue]

I hate to tell you this, Dave, but my nine-year old daughter went ziplining in the jungles of New Jersey the other day. Yes, she had to get pretty dorked up, but there were no waivers involved.

Now, I hope they don't serve airline food in there.

[gjd]

Crossgirl? Whatever you do, don't look at the 2nd picture. Crossgirl?

For some reason I have a sudden urge to watch "Medicine Man".

[Siouxie]

That harness does look a bit uncomfortable. Kinda like an outer thong. (nttawwt)

[fivver]

*looks at first picture*
*breaks into rousing rendition of YMCA*

Dave,
Is that restaurant on the Pacific coast?
Is the specialty of the house lobster?
Were there cats hanging around mooching?

[mudstuffin]

i did a zip line once, too. in ohio. no lawyers, no forms. there were sphincter control issues, though. dave got that part right.

[CJrun]

Dave the Runway Model.

I'm sure cg has already fainted, after smashing her monitor with a frying pan.

[Danny]

Some people zipline without wearing dorky outfits.

Potentially NSFW, but only if your boss has a powerful microscope.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Sphincter control is not required for ziplining if you use MoviPrep first.

[Siouxie]

♬ Dave, Dave, Dave of the jungle...watch out
for that treeeeeeeeeeeeee ♫

*SPLAT*

[fivver]

When we went ziplining, there was a very lovely young lady from Rio there with her sugardaddy uncle wearing something that appeared to be mostly painted on.

At one point we heard the following from the canopy:
Young lovely: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Male catcher on the platform: "I LOVE MY YOB!!!! I THINK YOU KNOW WHY!"

[ellie]

Man, that was one he!! of a pilot to be able to park the plane like that, so close to those support posts and all.

[CJrun]

fivver, we're not interested in the 'uncle'; what was the girl wearing?

[judi]

my daughter went zip-lining when she did a "semester abroad" in panama. before she went to panama, i would have said the likelihood of her sliding down a mountain hanging by a harness was approximately non-existent. but she loved it. this is why semesters abroad (even if they are not technically all that "abroad") are an excellent thing.

[Jeff Meyerson]

When we went ziplining, there was a very lovely young lady from Rio there with her sugardaddy uncle wearing something that appeared to be mostly painted on.

The sugardaddy was wearing something painted on?

I think I'll pass on that one.

[Mike Antonucci]

Dave, I think you fell for the old Costa Rican practical joke "Feed the gringo in the airplane hangar and tell him it's a restaurant."

Don't worry, it's relatively benign, unlike the "Send the gringo to the outhouse and tell him it's a telephone booth" joke.

[Margaritaville]

Looks like that restaurant had one of those "abnormal situations". Hold on to your colons when you are zip lining! It looks like they could fall out!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

lol @ Mike

That might be called a "restaurant" in Costa Rica, but here in the United States that's called a "successful landing".

[Eleanor]

*zips in*™

Siouxie, I was thinking the same thing, in your comment way ^there. ;)

[Siouxie]

Hehe, El! DMTA

I think I'd probably like that (once I've had enough alcohol courage serum).

[Danny]

I happen to have the menu of the airplane restaurant, reprinted here in its entirety:

First bag of peanuts: Free
Second bag of peanuts: Good luck

[Meanie the Blue]

Contest? What caption contest?

[Danny]

Sure, I'll enter the contest:

"If the, um, personal part of this harness is this tight right now, what's it gonna feel like when it's supporting my entire body weight?"

[mudstuffin]

contest entry:

"see how you look in 15 million years"

i kid! i kid! it's a joke!

[Siouxie]

"Are you sure the Village People started this way??"

[CJrun]

"This is the helmet I wear for hair cuts."

[Siouxie]

"Mr. July in Dorks R Us calendar"

[Guin]

Whew, looks like Dave located his blue shirt!

[CJrun]

"I'm not sure what 'Hidro Balancing' is, so I'm prepared for anything."

[mudstuffin]

the straps and gloves and helmet i get. why is there a cork in my a55?

[baligurl]

"Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK...♫♫♫"

[CJrun]

Now everyone can have their own Strap-On Dave!!

[Danny]

"I'll bet Weingarten couldn't do this!"

[Danny]

"There's no Pulitzer for ziplining? Like, you couldn't have told me that beforehand?"

[Siouxie]

"Michelle! Hurry up and take the picture so I can take this crap off and go to the Rain Spa. These blog idiots people will believe anything!"

[Siouxie]

*um...make that "Raindrop Spa"....*

[lil rascal]

Has the pile of poop left by Cher during her farewell concert tour been identified?

[CJrun]

Or, based on that helmet, "Braindrop Spa".

[Danny]

"Aw, c'mon, honey, enough is enough! We played sweaty-construction-worker-in-the-jungle all last weekend, too!"

[Relapsed Cat]

"Dave Barry For President. Yes, of the United States!"

[Danny]

"In a recent interview, director Spike Lee said that he has never regretted leaving the outtakes from 'Jungle Fever' on the cutting-room floor."

[Eileen]

Hey Dave!

This looks like a fantastic trip. Did they let you keep the "Zip Lining" gear. Not every man can carry that off you know. Ha

You won't remember me, but my husband Doug and I worked with you at the Herald many years ago. Our daughter Kathleen enjoyed meeting you recently at a puzzle site during the "Post Hunt" up in DC. Glad to hear the "Tropic Hunt" lives on. They were a blast.

[Layzeeboy]

Ding dong. "Cable guy."

[Siouxie]

"Next up...spelunking!"

[Melanie]

At least you survived! A friend of mine broke both legs while zipling in Costa Rica a couple of years ago. Something about the zip thingie sticking and the guides had to "loosen it up." So of course he hit the tree with both legs trying to stop while going a gazillion mph. Nothing like spending a couple of weeks in a Costa Rican hospital before transport back to Florida . . .

[Jeff Meyerson]

baligurl got my line.

[WriterDude]

Possible very lame caption:

The number of unemployed telephone pole climbers grew exponentially after the cable companies got into the digital voice business.

[Danny]

¿Cuantos colones are we, like, competing for, Meanie?

Speaking of which: Hey, Dave, I've never been to Costa Rica. Is there also, like, a giant eyeball on the colon?

[MartiniShark]

"I'm ready for my close-up for the "Land of the Lost" movie! LINE!"

[CJrun]

If there is, is it, like, a Colon-o-Scope?

[Hector]

Hi Dave,
I'm in Costa Rica, Alajuela. Wanna come for lunch or dinner? Good steaks! It's on me.
Hector

[baligurl]

Sorry, Jeff, I thought you were finished with it. *smirk*

[Siouxie]

Hey! Fiesta at Hector's!!! Who's bringing the booze?

[CJrun]

Uh,oh. Dave's gonna have to loosen that tight belt, but it will be great for lifting him out of his seat at the table.

[Meanie the Blue]

"No worries. It's plastic on the outside, but it's lined with tin."

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

They gave you a helmet? Looks like Costa Rica's catching up with us in the over-protectiveness business, I'm afraid. When I did it several years ago we didn't get no sissy helmets.

[Siouxie]

"Men, embarrassed by unsightly boobage?? This is why you need our new and improved full support man-bra."

[CJrun]

Uh oh, I see Sio-Posting-Paucity in the future.

[Runaround Sue]

You LUCKY dorks. That has to be one of the coolest things in the world to do...

I see Dave found a BIG plane. Good job Dave.

[Shelley]

That must be Manuel Antonio. I went to El Avion restaurant. It's an interesting story.. Here's info for those that are curious. http://www.costaverde.com/avion01.htm