CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE
Soon we will have no fundamental human rights left.
(Thanks to Lisa Gibson, who saw it on the site of Mr. Gene Weingarten)
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July 03, 2008
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Graduatus Interruptus
Posted by: Erb's point | July 03, 2008 at 01:12 PM
"got saw it"
"got saw it?"
Posted by: Hammond Rye | July 03, 2008 at 01:15 PM
Premature evacuation.
Posted by: Punkin | July 03, 2008 at 01:16 PM
For some reason, this phrase made me snork:
"Morett was released on his own recognizance..."
Posted by: Cat R | July 03, 2008 at 01:24 PM
When as everyone knows, a giant booger costume would have been a lot funnier...
And incidentally, on this day (yes, they mention Dave too...)
Posted by: Steve Haller | July 03, 2008 at 01:26 PM
Tonight's the night I'm gonna make it happen
Tonight I'll put all other things aside
Get in the suit and show you some affection
I'm goin' for it on Graduation night!
I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow I'll let it go
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I've got my D!ick suit on and I just can't hide it
And I know I know I know I know I know I want you
I shouldn't even think about tomorrow
Sweet memories will last for long long time
I'll have a good time in the State Pen
And if I get to keep the suit that's just fine
I'm so excited, I just can't hide it
I have to leave now and I don't like it
My balls are tangled in my legs and I just can't fight it
I know I know I know I know I know I want you, I want you
But I stlll want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow I let it go
I'm so screwed now and I just can't hide it
I'm about to go to jail and I don't like it
I had my D!ick suit on and I just can't deny it
And I know I know I know I know I know I want you
to post bail.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | July 03, 2008 at 01:33 PM
Calvin Morett? Yeah, that guy's a d!ck.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | July 03, 2008 at 01:39 PM
Great one, Hammy!
Steve, thanks to your link, we now know Dave and Lisa Simpson share a birthday.
If either of them ever get here, we can light the candles!
(We ain't gettin' any younger here, Dave...)
Posted by: Cat R | July 03, 2008 at 01:39 PM
From the looks of that floppy costume he should have taken some Viagra first.
Posted by: Braniff77 | July 03, 2008 at 01:41 PM
or eaten some watermelon...
Posted by: Steve Haller | July 03, 2008 at 01:41 PM
From the looks of that costume he should have auditioned for the role of the Cowardly Lion.
Posted by: Danny | July 03, 2008 at 01:43 PM
Hearty SNORK @Hammie! Brilliant!
Posted by: eilbeback | July 03, 2008 at 01:50 PM
applause hammy! this was a local story - but dint get a lotta coverage. the newscasters were falling all overthemselves. bunch prudes!
Posted by: queensbee | July 03, 2008 at 01:52 PM
Police said the penis outfit was a commercially-purchased inflatable device that came with a battery pack.
Hmmm. Sounds like more of a d!ldo than a d!ck.
Posted by: JayP | July 03, 2008 at 01:54 PM
He appeared to have some difficulty eluding officers, however, due to the cumbersome layers of his costume, which covered him from head to foot.
I hate it when I trip over my own b@lls.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | July 03, 2008 at 01:57 PM
Excellent, hammy.
Judge: "You're a dickhead."
"Yes, your honor."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 03, 2008 at 02:06 PM
Police: "Can you describe the perp?"
Witness: "Well, he was bald...."
Police: "Was he wearing a turleneck?"
Witness: "Um, no."
Police: "So, not Jewish, then."
Posted by: Punkin | July 03, 2008 at 02:47 PM
turTleneck
*stoopid cake-covered fingers*
Posted by: Punkin | July 03, 2008 at 02:48 PM
Good one, Hammie!!
He obviously did not graduate summa cum laude
Posted by: Siouxie | July 03, 2008 at 03:01 PM
When asked if police were looking for accomplices, Briscoe joked, "We believe the gunman acted alone."
Turning Japanese?
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | July 03, 2008 at 04:50 PM
I sure hope that was Silly String.
Posted by: CJrun | July 03, 2008 at 05:19 PM
snork at CJ
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | July 03, 2008 at 06:10 PM
Took a lotta balls to do that.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | July 03, 2008 at 06:36 PM
Somewhat OT, but in view of the link to Gene Weingarten's column, I happened upon the following in the online discussion group rec.music.classical.recordings: cited here. Those who recall the lively discussion of James Bell's experiment, playing his violin outside the subway to see how people would react, will see that we have hear a remarkable example of parallel evolution. HOLY ... indeed!
Posted by: Steve Haller | July 03, 2008 at 06:56 PM
@$%#! have here ...
Posted by: Steve Haller | July 03, 2008 at 06:58 PM
I blame the school officials. When the graduates walked out they played "Pomp & Circumcised" -- what did they expect to happen????
Posted by: MartiniShark | July 03, 2008 at 07:10 PM
and Joshua Bell. (This is why I will never win a
PutilzerPulitzer...Posted by: Steve Haller | July 03, 2008 at 07:11 PM
*snork* @ Martini's "Pump & Circumcised"
Posted by: Siouxie | July 03, 2008 at 08:10 PM
Button your collar, son. Your circumcision scar is showing...
Posted by: Wes S. | July 04, 2008 at 01:51 AM
.
Come on, guys, who among us has never stepped on his d*ck, or got tangled up by his own b*lls? Hm?
.
Posted by: cosanostradamus | July 04, 2008 at 07:41 AM
At least it wasn't frost-bitten.
Posted by: Slice | July 04, 2008 at 10:05 AM