ADVISORY

I'm leaving for a week of vacation in Costa Rica, a nation located in South or Central America, or possibly Europe. Wherever it is, there allegedly are monkeys there. If they have the Internet (I don't mean if the monkeys have the Internet, although they are said to be clever animals) I'll try to take CrapCam photos and post them here. Otherwise judi will be in charge. So, yikes.

At the moment I am at Miami International Airport, Drug Exchange, Construction and Freelance Riot Zone, where I changed some American money for Costa Rican money. The Costan Rican unit of currency is -- get ready -- the "colon." The exchange rate is roughly one dollar for 387 hillion skillion jillion colons. If you want to feel wealthy, get yourself some colons.

Comments

[Steve Haller]

Dang, that's all we need, a whole week of naked men...

[Siouxie]

Have a safe trip, Blogs! Hope you actually make it out of MIA...before the week is over, that is.

psssssst judi?? time for the naked men!!

[SteveB]

Did you have to have a colonoscopy before you could get those colons?

[Meanie the Blue]

I understand they have Bomcast TiV0 there. At least you'll know for sure that you're dealing with monkeys.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*™

Have fun Dave, and get rich. And don't pay attention to what Steve H just said. He's jealous. ;)

[Siouxie]

Dave, don't forget to pack the balla powder.

[fivver]

Dave, Costa Rica is a wonderful place! Considering our tour guide was able to text from the middle of the jungle, I wouldn't be suprised if the monkeys do have the internet (it would certainly explain moveon). Hope you go by Tabacon and the Volcan Arenal!

[crossgirl]

sits back to wait for the next three hours of still sitting on the runway updates.

be safe, dave. as we learned in poke county, them monkeys don't stay where they's supposed ta.

[Eleanor]

*sits down next to crossgirl to wait*

Wouldn't it be disappointing if his plane takes off on time? Well, not to him, but to us for sure. ;)

[Margaritaville]

Don't spend it all in one bar! I know it will be hard, but try to have fun while you are there.

[Punkin]

*sends Dave helpful book on how to get the most out of your colon*

Hmmmm....maybe they don't mean currency.

Have fun, Dave. I hear Costa Rica is a sweltering mosquito spa lovely this time of year.

[Meanie the Blue]

Be sure to purchase trip insurance.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Siouxie, I already sent in one item Judi and you should like: Naked Rugby.

Yes, WARNING - DO NOT OPEN AT WORK etc.

And it's AGNFARB Down Under.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I thought you meant this kind of trip insurance.

[Mike Antonucci]

I think colon is a great name for money. Think of how much more effective these phrases now are:

* You bet your bottom colon.

* That's the 64,000 colon question.

* Colons don't grow on trees.

* Colons are the root of all evil.

* A fool and his colon are soon parted.

* The colon stops here.

* Don't take any wooden colons.

* Put your colon where your mouth is.

* Show me the colon!

[Siouxie]

Yumm!..thanks Jeff. Now splain to me what you were looking for when you found this item?? hmmmmmm? NTTAWWT, of course ;-P

[Margaritaville]

That is so not gay in any way! NTTAWWT.

[Siouxie]

LOL good ones Mike...

"I got colon coming outta my @ss" - not so much.

[eilbeback]

Jeff, that's JUST what I needed this morning. If I get tired of reading and just listening to a pictureless tv, I'll click on the butts again. *sitting down next to crossgirl and Eleanor to wait* Anybody bring a flask?

[Jazzzz]

lol, mike
you can take your colon, and shove it up your....uh....colon

[Punkin]

"I won't take your dirty colon!"

[Punkin]

(Really, I won't)

[Wes S.]

Could be worse, Dave. The Vietnamese call their unit of national currency the dong.

Although maybe not much worse...

[lil rascal]

Saturday, July 12, 2008

1 US Dollar = 527.658 Costa Rican Colon

Dave can buy Costa Rica. If a cup of coffee doesn't cost $527. Leave the .658 tip.

[Mike Weasel]

Hmmm dollars use $, I wonder what the symbol for the colon is. )o( ?

[Danny]

"Buddy, can you spare a colon? No? Okay, howzabout a semi-colon?"

[Wyo Cowboy]

Don't drink the water, Dave.

[queensbee]

would it be a semi-colon if you got change for a colon???
goood fun to ya, dave & co...

[Eleanor]

eilbe, I don't a flask, but I could whip up some screwdrivers, because it's till morning here in su.so.ca. :)

Iknow there's a screwdriver/colon joke in there but(t) I can't think of it. ;)

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

*winks at Jazzzz* pssst,cye.....:)

[Meanie the Blue]

I'll bet you colons to donuts that Dave will have a hot time in Costa Rica.

[Danny]

Ah, if I had a colon for every time I've dreamed of going to Costa Rica.

[insomniac]

costa rica has no standing army...could be their colons are acting up.

and checking a patient's financial woorth is called a 'wallet biopsy' here, is it a 'colonoscopy' there?

[Loudmouth]

go raffle yer colon

[Punkin]

Anybody give me 48,000 colons for my kidney?

[Siouxie]

I'm sure my colon will be ready to explode after tonight. Big party at the NCL ship with estrogen centrale - dinner dancing and free booze - THEN we get to stay overnight. Woohoooo!!

Off to get ready! Laters!

[Jazzzz]

*winky* back at El.....

♬Colon colon colon co-lon....Colon ♬......nope, not the same ring

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

You'll love it, Dave! Be sure to take a Rain Forest Canopy Tour, with zipline runs. You haven't lived til you've zipped down one of those -- even doing in the pouring rain didn't spoil it for me.

[SarahO (scat)]

Have fun! I hope you're staying at The Four Seasons. Pure heaven, especially if you like to wake to the sound of howler monkeys right outside your window.

[Not Paul, George, John or Ringo]

Costa Rican native you might want to avoid running into:
Beetle

[lilrascal]

Blog should remember if at any point during your visit jail is required, you will be treated as pond scum. While you huddle in a dank, musty corner seeking protection I mean.

[Jazzzz]

rascal....is that inmates or visitors?

[MartiniShark]

Can picture him trying to change his money while there: "How many Colons can I get for a Prostate? Really?! Wow, that's a bile of cash!"

[lilrascal]

"How to not be too conspicious around the hotel."

[Lairbo]

Do Costa Rican doctors reassure worried patients by telling them 'You're as sound as a colon"? I"m guessing no.

[lilrascal]

The instance of Costa Rican doctors working here in the states is commonplace if you consider nurses aids holding Costa Rican medical diplomas as doctors.

[lilrascal]

Dave has nothing to worry about. AARP.

[Will]

Dave, next time you need help from bomcast, slip the guy a few colons. You'll get better service.

[peterpan]

Happy trails, HeadBlog. Do they call money laundering in Costa Rica colon cleansing?

[Alfred]

Um, I think its Colon because Costa Rica was a colony of the Spanish. Get it?

[insomniac]

isn't 'colon' from cristobal colon?

then there were the clint eastwood movies where he played an italian proctologist...

A Fistful pf Colons

For a Few Colons More

[insomniac]

and do rich costa ricans worship 'the almighty colon'?

[random thunking]

*thunks in from Korea*

Greetings bloglits. I know how deeply tou have missed for the last month or so. I have been in Seoul, man, and bit too busy to sit down at a computer. Currently Mrs. T is telling me to "take a shower, we need to leave in 30 minutes". (I need a vacation from my vacation).

Just thought I'd add that the Korean currency is called the "beef". No, seriously it is call the "won" which sounds suspiciously like "juan". The exchange rate is $1 = 1000 won, and the largest bill is 10,000 won. Needless to say, in order to appease the MIL (the tree cutter) I need to carry a briefcase full of money with me where ever I go.

*see you in Itaewon*

[Danny]

Do bargain-hunting Costa Ricans shop at Colon General, Colon Tree, and Family Colon?

[Danny]

I'd expect there to be a lot of Vietnamese tourists in Costa Rica this summer. Seems to happen any time there's a strong dong and a weak colon.

[Tony Field]

Hmm, "colon", eh? I understand the colon equals 10 sphincters (as in "Buddy, can you spare a sphincter?") 10 colons is known as a bowel, 10 bowels is a lower intestine, and so on. You can imagine the design of the notes. If you have a lot of cash, you're not a capitalist: you're a colonist.

[oneblankspace]

The symbol for the colon (pl. colones; you Miami hispanophones should have at least guessed that) is ¢.

Watch out for pickpockets; they can steal and use your credit cards before you know they're gone. [not personal experience, but a relative]

[baligurl]

Know what I found in my bathroom when I was in Costa Rica, Dave? This.

I hope you packed big bug-swattin' shoes.

[diverdowndoc]

Bali- WTF?

OT? my birhtday party was tonight and we had a great time. Joe the bartender kept me deep into my cups with the rum runners tihing, and who put all these extra letterds on th ekkeeyboard?

[baligurl]

Wish I'd been there, ddd! Happiest! That right there's a scorpion spider, and, btw, I didn't take that pic. I was too busy screamin' and runnin' for any photo ops. Hey, also btw, I got the cutest scuba diving sock monkey jammie pants today, I'm sending you the link via e-amil. Too happenin', wow, and now! You'll love'em!

[baligurl]

Oh, and if you really wanna feel rich? Go to Bali and buy some rupia. $100 USD=(cue Mike Myers) one Million rupia.

[glocke380]

1 Dong = 0.03188 Colon

[Eleanor]

*zips in*™

Happy Birthday, ddd. :)

[Siouxie]

ddd! You know I wish I could have made it to your bday bash! I'm glad you had a wonderful time!~

EC and I had a super time at the NCL partay. Can't wait for my cruise!

now to nap...

[diverdowndoc]

Very cute, Bali!

Thanks El! We had the party last night (my fingers must have been unusually large last night- yeah, that's it- I couldn't have been typing drunk), though the day itself was the 10th. It turns out that October 18th is a popular day for s3x, because both the band leader and my next door neighbor share my birthday (not year). Some of the pix are on my site (in the left sidebar), but I was so busy getting the house ready and all that I forgot to bring the camera out until half-way through.

[Jay Humphreys]

Dave:
My son signed a professional player contract with a Costa Rican Division One futbol club at San Ramon -- the Poetas (the Poets -- scary!) -- 100,000 colons per month! Being pretty good at math, I excitedly deduced he would be makng more than a million per year! You can image my disappointment at doing the advanced math and discovering 100,000 colones equal $328. BTW, I hear Mel Gibson's compound at Guanacaste is nearly finished -- if you see him, please tell Mel I said Hola!

[McBruce]

Uh, Dave? Forget the colons and the Drug Exchange Zone. The woman behind you in the photo doesn't seem to have any clothes on. Which may, at least partially, make up for anything Judi throws at us while you're gone...

[catman]

There's a tool they use for finding lost Costa Rican money. I think it's called a colonoscope. I wish they had one here so I could find my 401(k) money that went away.

[mermaid]

Good Grief, i expected maybe 1 or2 comments about the colon.........enuf