WHY SOUTH FLORIDA IS NOT LIKE WHERE YOU LIVE
A whole new concept in mass transit.
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June 25, 2008
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Do they take Metrocards?
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | June 25, 2008 at 01:35 PM
What did they expect? It's a Peterbilt.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 25, 2008 at 01:35 PM
Bunny Ranch, Cadillac Ranch - not too much of a stretch. The upside is I'd finally be able to ride in the HOV lane.
Posted by: MartiniShark | June 25, 2008 at 01:36 PM
Simul with MKJ. And not on the geezer bus. Away with ye, ya knicker-raffler.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 25, 2008 at 01:36 PM
Martini - better than the HIV lane.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 25, 2008 at 01:38 PM
*Quietly pulls MartiniShark aside to explain about additional upsides*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | June 25, 2008 at 01:44 PM
The loooove bus...soon will be making another run...
Posted by: Layzeeboy | June 25, 2008 at 01:48 PM
When's the police auction there? I may need to make a purchase.
And buy a steam-cleaner while I'm at it.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 25, 2008 at 01:51 PM
Cops have charged Morteh with [...] operating a business without license.
To be fair, if she had applied, would they have given her one?
Posted by: KOW | June 25, 2008 at 01:54 PM
With the price of gas, they probably had a hard time making ends meet.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 25, 2008 at 01:54 PM
Not gonna say anything about the organized religions running transportation companies. Not gonna say anything about tithing and the obvious "G"-string noted in the report. Those parishioners were only praying, officer. Not gonna go there. Nope, not me.
Where can I get me one of those?
Posted by: Shark Tooth John | June 25, 2008 at 02:01 PM
KOW - They might have granted a license. You might be amazed at what is illegal in under one law, yet not mentioned in another. We once had a claim for Social Security retirement from a madam. She had paid her taxes on the profits, and was entitled to it.
Posted by: pogo | June 25, 2008 at 02:03 PM
There is probably a conversation at more than one truck manufacturer on where the tractor came from and how more can be sold for the same purpose.
Posted by: Not My Usual Alias | June 25, 2008 at 02:04 PM
"..and offered oral *** for just $100, according to the report and a detective's testimony in court."
"just $100"? Wow! How much is the market rate?
Posted by: Braniff77 | June 25, 2008 at 02:10 PM
I think they were just doing their civic duty by encouraging carpools.
Posted by: NotSoShyJan | June 25, 2008 at 02:12 PM
Braniff, I figure my ex got about $50K a pop.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | June 25, 2008 at 02:13 PM
Snork @Annie
What's that meainie? . . . uh-huh . . . I see . . .OHHHH! Now I get it. But wait, wouldn't that be a moving violation?
Posted by: MartiniShark | June 25, 2008 at 02:14 PM
``It was on their G-strings. In 19 years, I've never seen this.''
get out much?
Posted by: russellmc | June 25, 2008 at 02:16 PM
If you're doing it right, yes.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | June 25, 2008 at 02:17 PM
"In 19 years, I've never seen this.''
"Now 20 years ago, this stuff was all over the place!"
Posted by: Braniff77 | June 25, 2008 at 02:22 PM
I'm just wondering what song this Good Humor wagon would be playing as it comes (har) down the street?
Posted by: fivver | June 25, 2008 at 02:36 PM
not sure, fivver, but the creamsicles are really expensive.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 25, 2008 at 02:41 PM
fivver, how about "I'm in the Nude for Love"?
Posted by: Layzeeboy | June 25, 2008 at 02:42 PM
Or, "The Girls on the Bus Go Up and Down"
Posted by: Layzeeboy | June 25, 2008 at 02:44 PM
Yes, South Florida is definitely not like where I live.
Posted by: Margaritaville | June 25, 2008 at 02:48 PM
So did the bus work on a first served, first come basis?
Posted by: JayP | June 25, 2008 at 02:50 PM
Love Bus & Rolling Prostitution WBAGBF fun!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 25, 2008 at 02:51 PM
also AGNF
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 25, 2008 at 02:51 PM
wasnt that an episode of csi???
Posted by: queensbee | June 25, 2008 at 02:51 PM
HAR!
Y'all are in FINE form today!
now ... dang, I hate to mention this, and it's NOT a criticism per se, Annie ... but that vehicle in the photo is not a "Pete" ... tho your line wuz a VERY funny one ...
It's what's known in the trade by the nickname of 'Binder ... which doesn't offer much in the way of opportunity for one-liners ...
Or does it?
At any rate, the 'Binder is more ... um ... "stream"lined than a Pete is ...
whutever ...
(I'm still giggling @ some of these lines ... )
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | June 25, 2008 at 02:52 PM
JayP, it sounded like a pay as you go and the crabs are free deal.
Posted by: Margaritaville | June 25, 2008 at 02:53 PM
See, now I have the "Get on the Bus" song from the Doodlebops in my head, and I really don't want to think of DeeDee like that.
Posted by: JayP | June 25, 2008 at 02:54 PM
"Love Bus & Rolling Prostitution" - sounds more like a concert tour, with Rolling Prostitution opening for Love Bus. (sic)
Posted by: pogo | June 25, 2008 at 02:55 PM
OtU - I thought I'd be the only one here who knew the term "Binder". I have operated some of their off-road hardware.
Posted by: pogo | June 25, 2008 at 02:58 PM
People all over the world (everybody)
Join hands (join)
Start a love bus, love bus
People all over the world (all the world, now)
Join hands (love ride)
Start a love bus (love ride), love bus
The next stop that we make will be South Beach
Tell all the folks in Tampa, and Orlando, too
Don't you know that it's time to get on board
And you can keep on riding, riding 'till through
Well, well
People all over the world (you do need money)
Join hands (come on)
Start a love bus, love bus (don't need no ticket, come on)
People all over the world ( ride this bus)(Ride this bus, y'all)
Start a love bus (Come on, bus), love bus
All of you brothers over in Pensacola
Tell all the folks in Key West, and Jacksonville, too
Please don't miss this bus at the station
'Cause if you miss it, I feel sorry, sorry for you
Well
People all over the world (Sisters and brothers)
Join hands (join, come on)
Start a love bus (ride this bus, y'all), love bus (Come on)
People all over the world (Don't need no tickets)
Join hands (come on, ride)
Start a love bus, love bus
Ride, let it ride
Let it ride
Let it ride
People, ain't no war
People all over the world (on this bus)
Join in (ride the bus)
Start a love bus, love bus (ride the bus, y'all)
People all over the world (come on)
Join hands (you can ride or stand, yeah)
Start a love bus, love bus (makin' love)
People all over the world ('round the world, y'all)
Join hands (come on)
Start a love bus, love bus
Posted by: Hammond Rye | June 25, 2008 at 03:01 PM
ClapsApplauds for Hammie.Posted by: fivver | June 25, 2008 at 03:04 PM
forgive me:
You'll see a fancy madam on the side of the road she says $40 dollars for the... Love Bus!
Love Bus yeah yeah
I'm headin' down the Miami highway,
ridin' on the love getaway
Ridin' on the love getaway, (love getaway)
I got me a bus, it's loaded with tail
and we're gettin' on down
In the Love Bus
I got me a Greyhound, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your lap dance money
Well the Love Bus is a mobile place
where we can get together
Love Bus baby, Love Bus bay-bee.
Love Bus, baby Love Bus!
Love Bus, baby Love Bus!
Love Bus, baby Love Bus!
Love baby, that's where it's at,
Love Bus, baby Love Bus!
Ooo love baby, that's where it's at
Sign says..(Woo...) stay away fools,
'cause sex rules on the Lo-o-ove Bus!
Well it's travelin' down Collin's Avenue,
Just a funky old bus and I gotta get some
Glitter on the bench seats
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the dashboard
Glitter on the hookers
The Love Bus is a mobile place
where we can get together
Love Bus bay-bee! Love Bus baby!
Love Bus, that's where it's at!
Love Bus, that's where it's at!
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin',
wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole bus shimmies!
Yeah, The whole bus shimmies!
The whole bus shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around and around!
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Folks linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Funky little bus! Funk-y little bus!
Hop in my Greyhound, it's as big as a whale
and it's about to set sail!
I got me a bus, it seats about twenty
So c'mon and bring your lap dance money.
The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Love Shack baby! Love Shack bay-bee!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, that's where it's at!
Bang bang bang on the whore baby!
Scream a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the whore baby!
I can't hear you
Bang bang bang on the whore baby
Scream a little louder sugar.
Bang bang bang on the whore baby!
I can't hear you
Bang bang bang on the whore baby!
Bang bang
On the whore, on the whore baby.
You're what?... Tin badge, busted!
Posted by: crossgirl | June 25, 2008 at 03:07 PM
YAY Hammie! (waved already and my hands are tired from clapping!)
*jumps starts the Geezer Love Bus*
*turn signal set to continuous LEFT*
*loads up on Viagra*
ALL ABOARD!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | June 25, 2008 at 03:08 PM
*tooling* through South Beach
*snork*
along a regular transit root?
Posted by: Ford79 | June 25, 2008 at 03:09 PM
*SNORK* @ cg!!!! another great earwig!
Posted by: Siouxie | June 25, 2008 at 03:10 PM
When I think that my grandmother lived on Collins Avenue, I'm so proud I'm kvelling.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 25, 2008 at 03:12 PM
I thought you'd be verklempting, Jeff.
Posted by: Siouxie | June 25, 2008 at 03:17 PM
Two snaps up for
Glitter on the bench seats
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the dashboard
Glitter on the hookers
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 25, 2008 at 03:17 PM
Wow. That's it for me. Just Wow...
Posted by: Kathybear | June 25, 2008 at 03:35 PM
I'm wondering what's so illegal about having loads of cash around.
*goes to clean up his room*
Posted by: kibby F5 | June 25, 2008 at 03:39 PM
*SNORKs* and standing O's for the HamJays and the CG-52s!!
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | June 25, 2008 at 03:55 PM
Standing O for cg's earwig!
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | June 25, 2008 at 03:58 PM
Um, not to be indelicate (who, me?) but MtB and Cheryl's last comments beg the question:
Were there any standing O's perpetrated on the "Love Bus" (NTTAWWT, of course)?
Posted by: klezmerphan | June 25, 2008 at 04:11 PM
Did they play the little "Ice Cream Man" song as they "tooled" through the neighborhoods ?
Posted by: Jazzzz | June 25, 2008 at 04:11 PM
*Waves @ Siouxie!!!*
*Waves @ Annie!!!*
*Waves @ Diva!!!*
*Holds up lighter for CG!!!*
Posted by: Hammond Rye | June 25, 2008 at 04:13 PM
klez, there could also have been laying down O's or...on the lap O's or sitting down O's.
Btw, they just showed this on Fox News. Good to know the Blog is ahead of major news media.
Posted by: SiOuxie | June 25, 2008 at 04:17 PM
With all the song lyrics sparking my imagination:
(Please note: No lyric changes needed!)
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Borrrrnnnnnn to be wi-iild!
Posted by: frodolives | June 25, 2008 at 04:18 PM
I know a fat girl,
she wears an orange skirt
You give her twenty dollars
and you can do work...
LL Cool J Circa 1987
Clearly inflation has had an impact in Miami
Posted by: Erb's point | June 25, 2008 at 04:40 PM
Gives a whole new meaning to "The wheels on the bus go round and round."
Posted by: Holly | June 25, 2008 at 04:56 PM
$40 bucks to get on, but $100 to get off? That ain't right!
Posted by: maceo | June 25, 2008 at 05:42 PM
*Laughing myself silly at all these comments*
crossgirl, that was priceless!
Posted by: Cat R | June 25, 2008 at 06:09 PM
Yeah, pogo ... I'm old ... still drivin' one of the 'Binders, too ... when I still werk, that is ...
Oddly enuf, a significant portion (like, much more than half? I dunno) of all School Bus vehicles in the USofA are assembled on a 'Binder chassis ... merely sayin' ...
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | June 25, 2008 at 06:52 PM
When I was young I always wanted something hot with four on the floor and a fully blown mill. Didn't know that it was always just waiting in Miami.
Posted by: Davec | June 25, 2008 at 07:20 PM
Davec... I prefer injection to blown, but that's me... Hopefully, the bloglits will think "NTTAWWT"...
Posted by: frodolives | June 25, 2008 at 07:48 PM
NTTAWWT
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | June 25, 2008 at 08:35 PM
Thanks to OtheU!!!!
Posted by: frodolives | June 25, 2008 at 08:39 PM
This is the first time I have read Dave Barry's blog and I have to commend the songwriters on here. Very clever, esp. the b-52's remake. LOLOL..shoot, I think the po-po's are such such party poopers....
Liz
Posted by: Liz | June 27, 2008 at 05:14 AM
Hey kiddies! when someone in Naples (tourist) ask how to get to the beach, I point east and send them to you! You can have 'em!
Posted by: West coast girl | June 29, 2008 at 02:40 PM