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May 29, 2008

YIKES

Man Sickened After Snake Bits Him While Using Toilet

Which makes it sound as though the snake was using the toilet. Which is even scarier.

(Thanks to Heather Mays)

Comments

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YIKIEST is right!

Did he have a friend along to suck out the poison? Shoddy reporting...

I said it before...

"Snake on a snake"

what I want to know is how the snake was able to flush or wipe?

And, of course, "He said, 'you gonna die'" comes to mind.

From rickh's post in the previous thread, the best line of the article describing this same event:
*The spokesman added that the man was 'a bit shocked and embarrassed' by the incident, and that he was 'lucky' to have escaped so lightly. Luck being a relative concept, obviously.*

Yea, I thought "using the toilet" was the polite (though misleading) way of saying "squatting and taking a dump".

PC run amuck and distorting the facts?

Snake Bits? Were they dangly?

If you watched A & E's remake of "The Andromeda Strain" last Monday and Tuesday, there was a scene where a guy is taking a dump in the desert and an infected rat starts crawling up his anal orifice. He jumps back just in time, but it's enough to add him to the mounting Andromeda casualty list...

By the way, if you missed it, it will be shown again Saturday on A & E -- but if you revere the original film (which had no such anal rat probe as far as I can recall) you may want to watch something else...

Abdomen pain sponsored by ConstipationAnswers.com .

Yes, nurse, looks like he's got two balls and one strike.

*SNORK!*@Margaritaville

Batter (very definitely not) up!

President Lyndon Johnson once took a bunch of male reporters on a tour of his LBJ Ranch in Texas, during the course of which he whipped it out and peed on a bush.
"Mr President, aren't you afraid a rattlesnake will bite it?" a reporter inquired.
"Son, it IS a rattlesnake," chuckled the pres, zipping it up and getting back on his horse.

What Steve said. Andromeda Strain was a total bore, except for said "infected rat bites guy on the ass" scene. Whenever they cut to Benjamin Bratt (who seemed to be on massive downers) and his team in the lab I went into a coma until the scene ended. Snore-arama.

As for this story it's interesting how Fox emasculated (so to speak) the story. The version I sent from an Aussie site (cairns.com.au) didn't dick around (so to speak again) with "private parts" - just got right to the meat - again, so to speak.

Does anyone know how "wrapping the member in plastic" is supposed to stop the venom from working, or maybe, were they talking about a tourniquet? If so, and it was on for a long enough period, maybe he isn't out of the woods, just yet.

The most laughable scene, though, was when Jin (or whatever his name was in the movie) with his last dying breath managed to climb down the shaft one floor to the core, cut off Ricky Schroeder's thumb and hurl it up maybe two floors to Bratt who caught it with one hand while hanging onto the wall of the shaft for dear life. And then, of course, prolonging the suspense by Bratt being so worn out he could only just barely press the thumb to the scanner seconds away from total meltdown. As someone on TWoP pointed out, it woulda served him right if Jin had cut off the wrong thumb:

COMPUTER: Welcome Dr Ricky, please place your right thumb on the scanner.
BRATT (looking at left thumb in his hand): Damn...!

This was so far below "The Stand" -- hell, even "The Langoliers" ... !

We knew the remake was going to be a PC disaster when they made a main character of a brave reporter (nonexistent in the novel and the good movie...).

Fortunately, I never watch "remakes" of the classics (does anyone here want to admit seeing the remake of "Psycho" or the "" sequel "" to "Gone with the Wind?" But as Steve has brought up movie lines involving computers:

[Regarding the supposed failure of the parabolic antenna on the ship, which HAL himself falsified]
HAL: It can only be attributable to human error.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips

btw, does anyone know if the voice-over for HAL was the same guy that did the voice-over for "Knight Rider?" They sound pretty similar. I can vouch for the fact that Knight Rider was the guy who played John Adams in the film version of "1776" (in case anyone cares...)

Was the snake bite on the penis the bad part, or the tourniquet they applied to the affected area?

Teeth whitening ads should not be all over an article about a mans getting his private parts punctured. Its just weird.

what's wrong if the snake uses the bathroom. Snake has to go too.

is the most incredible stuff I've ever seen! Heather Mays is a genius!

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