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May 27, 2008

HEY, WE'VE SEEN LESS-RESPONSIVE HUSBANDS

A woman says she is married to the Berlin Wall.

(Thanks to DavCat, Amanda Austin and Danny)

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*stares off in to space.*
Words really escape me on this one. She claims to have had relations with a wall. Yah, right.

Please tell me that's not his oosik she's holding in that picture.

I bet he took her for granite.

And after many years of stony silence...

Well, he may be cold, but he's hard.

At least she was faithful. Unlike this guy.

I knew there was a reason I stopped reading this at work, I just had to explain my snork to my boss. Thanks Annie, Punkin and Pogo. at least it was iced coffee and my usual dier soda.

change that r to a t.

How does she...? I mean where does it...? WHY???

*head explodes*

Definitely has a stiff one. But..sheeeeeesh.

I guess she's been around the block a couple of times.

"What does your husband do?"
"He's a security guard."

If this had been a guy it wouldn't be as newsworthy . . .

One time she got really upset when she came home and found him on the patio.

"poor Eija was mortarfied"

Ohhhhh.... that hurt

And, although she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.

Cue the Twilight Zone music

Ich Bin Ein Berliner!

Yeah but does he put the toilet seat down????

So who got the better end of the deal? This chick or the guy who made out with his picnic table?

“The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.

“It’s not just pleasuring myself. I want to please my partner when we make love.”

I'm with Siouxie - *head explodes too*

Their songs:

♫ He's a brick...wall...♬

or

♪ Just another prick in the wall...♫

Has she met her mortar-in-law?

"Objectum Sexuality"???

That sounds like either a "progressive class" at Cal-Berkeley, or the subject of the next "Donahue" show.

I fell for him like a ton of bricks

“It’s not just pleasuring myself. I want to please my partner when we make love.”

Because not doing so could kiln the relationship?

Eija changed her surname to Berliner-Mauer, German for the Berlin Wall – which was erected ...

Heh! they said erected.

I'm sure of this. The person who wrote the article invented 'Extenze'.

"Oh...he's sexy but he can be a TOTAL blockhead sometimes"

“I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.

*lies down*

“I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy."

So...just get a Sharpie™ (iykwim)

"Again with the QwikCrete? Why is it always about you?!"

*takes Sharpie™ and draws lines across Kibby's face*

Go get her!

Man, she's a tough chick. How many women do you know who actually enjoy laying bricks?

Danny (possibly), get outta my head! It's dark and scary in there.

*stands with russellmc in the "that hurt" corner*

Can't think of anything fresh. Guess I'll just throw in the trowel.

"Is that your Mason's Dixon line, or are you just happy to ce-ment?"

In this case, breaking up was really hard to do.

ex-Girlfriend of mine has a piece of that wall ... that's that mean it cheated on her? My ex a slut?

It currently's used as a door stopper .... go ahead!

At the time, when asked to comment on the so-called "wedding ceremony" with his putative "bride", the wall's reaction was guarded.

I'm sure it's a rock solid marriage.

Note to Erb - "Ich bin ein Berliner" means "I am a jelly donut". JFK should have said "Ich bin Berliner" - I am a citizen of Berlin.

I heard he went all to pieces over her.

It’s likely Eija grew up associating boundaries with comfort and security — perhaps she was left in a playpen for long periods.

Or perhaps someone bopped her upside the head with a brick? THAT would make sense to me.

I'm not sure. Ich bin Berliner means you literally live in Berlin. Kennedy didn't want to say that.

I can ask a German speaker for more details.

Who needs Viagra when you have re-bar.

"mr. gorbachev, tear down some fruitcake's husband!"

Or perhaps someone bopped her upside the head with a brick?

Maybe not upside the head.

Some women like the strong silent type. I guess.

Hey...whatever rocks your boat, I always say, Elon.

I betcha they went here for their honeymoon.

JFK wanted to express he was "with the Berliners", not that he was actually a resident. A "Berliner" is also a pastry, a jelly filled pastry, as a Danish is a pastry originally created in Denmark. The insertion of the definite article "ein" (a) makes a subtle difference in the meaning in German.

Pogo, you're right about how that infamous line was misspoken. It would have still been incorrect even if there were no such thing as a Berliner jelly donut, since, unlike in English, Germans don't use a definite article to make reference to someone from a particular place.

They would say "Ich bin Deutscher", not "Ich bin ein Deutscher", to tell someone that they are German. They might also phrase it as "Ich bin aus Deutschland" ("I am from Germany"). But the definite article does not get used, and in this comical case the use of "ein" with "Berliner" made for a lot of giggles.

I sometime wish JFK had tried to identify with people from Hamburg, Frankfurt, or Vienna (known as "Wien" in German)....

That wench is crazy. He was MINE!

I'm sure she gets his rocks off.


Awwww, Cindy....it was nobody's ashfault.

Blue, how dare you put such a FILTHY photo on this family blog!!

just got here - i had to do some WORK! da noive! but the puns are delish on this thread. I'm wondering tho - how can other women tell that mr wall is a married wall - and do they hit on him a lot?? playing handball, etc. and mrs wall needs some serious meds.

Aggregate THIS, Eija!

*throws Berly out the window and heads for the Hoov*

Typical guy - he had some German on one side and some Russian on the other.

Eija bin enjoying this thread.

The story of the little Dutch boy plugging the hole in the wall with his finger to stop it from leaking has taken on a whole different connotation now.

Sure, it's a tacky and salacious story. But I say: Let him who is without cinder cast the first block.

"Is that rebar in your pocket....?"

*whacks Danny with a ceeeeement block*

Well I never...I'll have you know that I am a wall virgin!

I'm still just wondering how he said, "I do." Was it by epoxy?

Hey, what am I - chopped liver?

What she never mentions is that it was a seriously rocky relationship. He was forever stonewalling her, and when he was finally hit with an obstacle, he just went all to pieces.

Although, I'd definitely go for THIS rock.

♬ Take me in your arms, rock your baby...♪

Wooo hooo!! ^that^ was # 69!!!

Rock on.

Maybe she knows that wherever the is a concrete wall a seriously big BOB is not far away.

Maybe she knows that wherever the is a concrete wall a seriously big BOB is not far away.

The bot made me do it.

And to think Siouxie said you knew your way around BOBs.

Talk about getting hammered, random!

Oh, my...simul with Siouxie....how's that for a slump test?

Priest: "Do you Eija, take this wall to be your lawfully wedded husband??"

Eija: "YAH!"

Priest: "Do you wall, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife??"

Wall:

Meanie, that must be a nasty photo. I can't open it.

Me too, Meanie. I get a 403 error AND a typo. Yoicks.

Key quote: "Although she remains a virgin with humans..."

No doubt.

Siouxie, with respect, I think the honeymoon location was
http://www.seerockcity.com/Flash/Photos/barns_i4.htm

If this wall is rockin' don't come a-knockin'.

How does one go about getting laid by a wall, I wonder?

Hi Cheryl, can buy you a drink?

Cheryl, I'm assuming it's sorta kinda doing it with this guy. (only quieter)(Annie told me)

Oh Cheryl, you had me so excited I forget to put an "I" before buy. You know, you are one mind blowin' hawt babe.

Now I remember marrying this skank...it was right after I got hammered!

Anyone else wonder about the "guests" that were at the cementing of this unholy union?

shell, I bet they were all stoned.

all in all, he's just another brick in the wall!

For people who think that mental illness is not a problem: Exhibit A.

I think she should have married the Eiffel Tower instead. He is more erect.

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