FLORIDA: POPULATED ALMOST ENTIRELY BY MORONS?
We report; you decide.
(Thanks to CJrun)
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Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
Should I even bother to read the story before saying yes?
Posted by: ellie | May 06, 2008 at 09:18 AM
Does he have a Florida license to practice wizardry? If so, get him into politics, quick.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 06, 2008 at 09:18 AM
Ok, I've seen a toothpick disappear before.
But it
REAPPEARED!
This man must be stopped!
Posted by: Cat R | May 06, 2008 at 09:20 AM
So David Copperfield should get the death penalty??
Morons.
Posted by: Punkin | May 06, 2008 at 09:22 AM
Gandalf will be over later to break his staff and cast him from the Order.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | May 06, 2008 at 09:22 AM
*packs up wand & owl, heads for Canada*
Posted by: Harry Potter | May 06, 2008 at 09:23 AM
Psst! No one tell them about the magic box that takes dirty clothes and makes them clean!
Come to think of it, a lot of people don't realize how those dirty clothes magically get cleaned and reappear in their closet, so maybe that's a bad example.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | May 06, 2008 at 09:23 AM
I can only imagine what they must think of the "Magic Kingdom".
Posted by: KJP | May 06, 2008 at 09:30 AM
Methinks the teacher is not the one that should be losing his job here.
Posted by: billinbossier | May 06, 2008 at 09:31 AM
Was the toothpick traumatized in any way? If not, why press charges?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 06, 2008 at 09:32 AM
And your point is...?
Posted by: snif | May 06, 2008 at 09:40 AM
Annie - it depends where he "hid" it.
Posted by: Punkin | May 06, 2008 at 09:40 AM
Did they find out about this by watching the magic rectangular palantir reporters, or by listening to the magic farspeaker?...
Posted by: Allen at Division | May 06, 2008 at 09:43 AM
Dorothy, stay in Kansas.
Posted by: The Great Oz | May 06, 2008 at 10:11 AM
alert the aclu!
he's being oppressed!
actually, that school board has crossed over into moron land.
Posted by: queensbee | May 06, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Piculas said he did not know f any other accusations...
If you're talking about the fact that the reporter doesn't know how to spell, then yes. As for the wizardry thing, I agree with Annie, he should have had a license. I mean, it can't be that hard to get, look at the people to whom we give driver's licenses.
Posted by: fudtheman | May 06, 2008 at 10:23 AM
He shouldn't have done the trick in the middle of Intelligent Design class.
Posted by: padraig | May 06, 2008 at 10:35 AM
After he hid the toothpick, he got a warning. He didn't get in real trouble until he dangled a participle.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 06, 2008 at 10:58 AM
BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!!!
Posted by: Angry Florida Villagers | May 06, 2008 at 10:59 AM
People for the Ethical Treatment of Toothpicks are abolutely splintered over this decision.
One the one hand, it's a toothpick that got its moment in the spotlight. On the other hand, they don't really KNOW what happened to the toothpick during the time of its disappearance.
Posted by: Suzy Q | May 06, 2008 at 11:01 AM
Is Land O'Lakes in the Medieval Time Zone?
Posted by: Braniff77 | May 06, 2008 at 11:13 AM
We have yet to hear from the Lady O' the Lake on the issue.
Posted by: Katie in FL | May 06, 2008 at 11:19 AM
In times like these, we just have to stop, and ask ourselves, "WTFWJD?"
Posted by: jon | May 06, 2008 at 01:39 PM
*snork* @ "WTFWJD"
Posted by: Easily Entertained | May 06, 2008 at 04:22 PM
*note to self* Leave Magic 8 Ball, rabbit, and top hat at home while traveling through Florida.
Posted by: Guin | May 06, 2008 at 07:05 PM
Ok, so in the late 80's an almost 30 year old Kevin Bacon saved the fictional backwoods town of Beaumont by playing the part of a high school student who teaches the whole town to dance.
Now that he's pushing 50 is he going to save Land O'Lakes by playing the part of substitute teacher who performs magic tricks?
I think I've seen this movie before and it was frightening enough the first time around...
Posted by: Laura Vona | May 06, 2008 at 09:14 PM
PS. to Jon and EE:
"WTFWJD?"
add one more *snork* for me...
Posted by: Laura Vona | May 06, 2008 at 09:16 PM
He turned me into a newt!
Posted by: JEC666 | May 06, 2008 at 09:29 PM
I declare shenanigans on the state of Florida. Get your brooms.
Posted by: BA | May 06, 2008 at 10:11 PM